On this sad day we should pause to commiserate with the families of the hunger strikers and to wonder why it is that on to their murals on the Falls Road, they all looked like Cilla Black.
I have a personal reason to regret the timing of Mr Sands passing as if he had held on for another hour I would have won £53 in the "when will he peg it" sweepstake.
We should also remember the men who so valiantly won the team event at that years world slimming competition. The ten men who competed in the 1981 World Hunger Strike Competition:
Bobby Sands, - 66 Days
Francis Hughes, - 59 Days
Patsy O'Hara, - 61 Day
Raymond McCreesh, - 61 Days
Joe McDonnell, - 61 Days
Martin Hurson, -46 Days
Kevin Lynch, - 71 Days
Kieran Doherty, - 73 Days
Thomas McElwee, - 62 Days
Michael Devine, - 60 Days
Bobby Sands actuall only came 3rd and it should be noted that Martin Hurson gave a valiant performance especially as he was drafted in at the last minute, his effort of 46 days did not detract from the overall score as it was a better ball competition.
Anyone wishing to donate to the Boby Sands memorial trust can do so by calling Nuneaton 808080 (ate nothing, ate nothing, ate nothing)
The following is the diary of a British soldier tasked with guarding Mr Sands during his last days. He was if you remember a British MP, admittedly he wasn't a political heavyweight, especially towards the end, but nevertheless he got guarded.
St John Walter wrote:
I remember the days of the hunger strikes very well. Who can forget the Maze? I love Hampton Court, so close to the river and lovely gardens. The house is a bit old but well worth a visit. The hunger strikers were in their cells and fading fast. Patsy was one of the worst but I could never see why they put a woman in with all the men. The men were only just dressed, in lightweights if I remember correctly and a loose fitting top though one each of course. Patsy who now had a beard looked just like a man by now. Joe was the thinnest and his lightweights were held up with a tie wrap. Martin used one of his shoe laces and Thomas just tripped up alot.
We tried appealing to their better natures but they didn't have a nature let alone a better one. They just swore at us amongst the diaarh, diorha, shite that their forced starvation had caused. The stomach pangs must have been gnawing at them by now which is why it was bacon sandwiches all round for us and deep pan fried water for them which they of course refused. We left fruit for them every day but due to the lack of a tin opener they couldn't eat it even if they had wanted to. We called in a priest but they didn't eat him either.
Martin was the first to go. He died peacefully in his sleep while playing table tennis but headbutted Francis who died several days later. Michael fell down trap two and drowned and was flushed to meet his maker. Then it got a bit busy but the football was on the telly so we missed the actual death throes but thanks to Jock's cine camera, a compilation was made and is doing the rounds to this day. Bobby was one of the last to die and I'll never forget his last words "Ah Bisto" as we had been spiking his water. The last two annoyingly hung on but the overtime was great.
Kevin died while playing in the five a side football after a suspect tackle and Kieran finally emptied the cells by popping off a couple of days later. It was most inconvenient and confusing for the governor as they had not died alphabetically. Kieran's last words were not recorded as Jock's cine camera didn't do sound but it was something in Irish and something that was black with a white head. We thought of Gerry Adams but he is white with a black head so it couldn't have been him.
All that was left was to collect their personal belongings, the Mars Bars hidden in the lockers, the Tayto crisps under the pillow, the Coleraine cheddar hidden in a bed leg, the Denny ham hidden in a mattress, the Dunnes store selection box disguised as a chamber pot and to wonder why these men and one woman starved themselves to death. It might have been political but Jock always says it was the lack of a tin opener that killed them and their insistence on drinking the water and nothing but the water. "Should have tried Perrier Water" he had said delighting at the slight hint of benzene.
Who can forget the aftermath before the death of the prisoners. Friends and family were trying to smuggle food in but they kept getting caught. Security was very tight but in the end we managed to get some food in and we all had a good nosh up. I would like to personally thank Jock's Aunty Moira for her Dundee Cake, it just melted in the mouth.
Friends and relatives of the prisoners were caught smuggling food out and one ingenious soul had poured the deep pan fried water down his trousers and was trying to disperse it round the exercise yard. We only found that out later, at first we just thought he had a serious bladder problem. The prisoners still got exercise even though they were now very weak. I think it was Clubber who tied some string to Martin and it was fortunate that he had as a gust of wind took him up to a hundred feet and Clubber then showed off his freestyle kiting skills.
As previously mentioned, the prisoners died and a clear up process started. The cells were very messy but Philomena and May made a good job with a couple of buckets of Domestos and water. Even the germs were dead now. The clothing was taken by Billy as his son had an Action Man and they were almost a perfect fit.
The bodies had been taken away for post mortem, it was quite easy, they all fitted in the one body bag. The post mortems were carried out and the bodies were released for burial. Most fitted in a large brown envelope and Parcel Force made sure they were delivered within a fortnight. Because Bobby was an MP, he somehow got into the parliamentary postal system and was filed three times before his remains ended up in Droitwich. The mistake was instantly rectified within a week and the shoebox arrived at the family after three weeks.
The Milltown Cemetery had been booked for the funerals and heavy surveylan,surviel, there was somebody watching. I remember seeing Gerry Adams looking drawn but then he left the artist's studio and went to the funeral. Martine Mc Guinnnesss was also there representing the Derry Brigade. Derry is a small Catholic town just outside Londonderry and just over the border. Other republican bigwigs were there, Joe Mahey, Joe Cahill, Joe Maskey, Joe Kelly and Sean Bean.
The coffins were lashed down to prevent them blowing away and the Irish tricolour flew over the cemetery. It was a cold day as plenty of black gloves were being worn or were placed on top of the coffins which also stopped them blowing away. Suddenly from the crowds appared a lone gunman carrying a Hermatite AK47 and he let off five rounds after three stoppages and the barrel falling off once. It was very moving and the serveil, servweil, the watching team moved as the meter had run out and nobody had a ten pence coin.
One by one the coffins were laid to rest and a queue of people paid their last respects throwing a handful of concrete on the coffin as the wind kept getting underneath and there was a risk of them ending up on the Donegall Road. The Irish national anthem was played but it was a very scatched copy of the U2 classic and to this day nobody seems to know what has no name. Adams spoke of their sacrifice but was seen leaving the cemetery rubbing his hands together as he seemed to have forgotten his gloves. "That's got rid of those barstewards" was also attributed to him but that can't be corrober, corobber, nobody is actually sure.
So the Maze returned to normal, people still kept getting lost and one actually died of starvation after getting trapped but there were no political motives as he was apparently a Liberal supporter. I often go back to the Maze and gaze over the large expansive gardens and wonder what drives people to make such sacrifices but then I'm pulled back to reality as I realise they were republicans and scumbags. The ironic thing that came out afterwards was that Sands had written one of his crappy poems and the line 'I think we should have a hunger. Strike today.' was taken out of context as he had forgotten the full stop.
An irony and the need for an emphasis on good punctuation.
St John Walter (Corporal Retired)
Walter House
Walt-on-Thames
England
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