The Poolie Bunker

Down Seaton at 6.00 and bumped into my old mate Bazza….I saw him approaching me on a bike which fooled me for a while as he’s built like a football on straws…..I asked him what he was doing on a bike as I expected it to have stabilisers on it as the last time he was on one the 70’s were starting.
He told me he was on a keep fit campaign and was down the prom three times a day….then the penny dropped ….it was an electric bike….I asked him if he was actually pedalling it and he said no chance……never the sharpest knife in the box… I let him go on his way, the motor humming into the distance……I hadn’t the heart to tell him he was wasting his time.

Well at least he didn't fall off his bike like I did on Wednesday, wait for it, on top of the Wagga tip. Bruised all me bits and bobs , fucking iron ore!

That’s grade A slag up there…the famous ‘Wagga Moon’….it hurts.

OK! I will fall(pun) for it .
Why were you riding ya bike up there.

I bought an electric bicycle here, the starting torque was unbelievable nearly throw me of it, it could reach 25 mile an hour, sold it, I just didn’t feel safe on it.

Because I'm stupid

Legal ones are governed to 15.5 mph and you have to pedal. The others are illegal in the UK.
I have a legal one and they are great. It about trebles the distance you can do before getting knackered.

Got rid of four bikes over the past year…couldn’t bear to move them on so cutting blade on my grinder and off to the big bike shed in the sky.

You just know I'd have bought one off you,!!!

Been lined up in the love shack for two years and our lass had me demolish it so she can have French widows fitted, they were gonna be homeless…you could have had the lot if you wanted them.

you,ll find the legal ones are used by people like you but the faster ones are the new transportation of the dickheads and trouble makers. same with the scooters its the idiots that give them a bad name.

Halfords take them and repair any faults and ship them to Africa. I gave them one a few years ago. Also the Bike Hub in the building next to the Shades in Church Street do a similar thing for the "needy".

Well, they’ve gone to the great bike shed in the sky….these things never get publicised though.

I saw this on Arsebook today and thought i would share.

Freddie Mercury once sang 'I want to ride my bicycle'!
But what about that old or unused bike at home taking up space?
When you donate a bike to the Hartlepool Walking and Cycling Hub, your bike will be refurbished, restored and donated through our partners to people they are helping get active.
Our referral list is long and we are running out of bikes. We'll take any bike in any condition - nothing gets wasted.
Please contact us to arrange donation:
The Hartlepool Walking and Cycling Hub
15 Church Street TS24 7DJ
07766474793 All together now..
I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike.'

I prefer Freddie singing "Death on 2 Legs" reminds me of someone.

might be difficult as the best ones are parked outside 4 star hotels for the use of our friends.