A woman on the news was going on about dog fouling as she leads an organisation wanting people to clean up their mess after them as she listed a zillion ways to die from it, but what got me was when she said they were pressing for the right for dog wardens to conduct a body search of any person walking a dog to ensure they were carrying a poo bag or face court.
Now I carry one every time, I have a roll in the car, but I would take grave exception to some jumped up no mark telling me I’m getting a body search, there’d be no body search!

snowy..."but I would take grave exception to some jumped up no mark telling me I’m getting a body search, there’d be no body search!"

..dunno...you never know...you might enjoy it mate..

Who is she snowy? i'd like to back her campaign and i suggest owners carry a dustpan to make sure nothing is missed.

She looked a bit like you ….. in drag.

I take it you haven’t seen the average dog warden, the Star Wars bar scene with a big hoop and doggy treats..

Next thing they,ll want us to carry a disinfectant spray if they have a piss. Hope someone tries body search me as my husky/alaskan malamute will have something big to bark about. OK its not right leaving dog shit about but its not right either leaving empty cans, bottles and litter everywhere either. Still prefer to stand on dog shit rather than a broken glass bottle which if you are really unlucky can be more life threatening. Suppose its ok for cat owners to allow their pussys to shit in every garden in the area but their own. Nation of animal lovers has turned into a nation of gobshites who seem to get their five minutes of publicity.

Bring back white dog shit!

never seen that for years and none of mine ever had it. what caused it, anyone know.

They eat less bones, so less calcium, and the food is 99% processed now.

It's a pleasure to watch our cat helping out the neighbours with compost for their bedding plants mr accy.

Our neighbours two cats have migrated, never been seen for a week. Oh hum. Must have got sick of being pursued round the garden by our dog and their own dog.

A yobbo fox has burst a kids football ,moved my work boots and has been screaming out most evenings .I watched it jump a 5 foot with ease one night.Can i borrow rat boy?

It’s actually what he was trained to do when we got him off the farm. I’m going to Pompey in a fortnight I’ll drop him off.

I am sure my immunity from bad viruses is due to 10 years as a kid playing football in a back street in Hartlepool where dog shit and bin refuse was piled high. Vaccines do help though so the medics inform me.

speaking of dog crap...

https://www.hartlepoolmail.co.uk/sport/ ... be-3694418

..suppose if you're a fail sports journo it beats just twiddling your thumbs during the close season...

Have they got bog all to do but come up utterly bizarre scenarios, who cares?
Have they tried this………what if, only Pools we’re allowed to score goals this season how much could we win the league by….or …. What if teams in Div 2 could only score goals by players surnames beginning with XY or Z…..? Total cobblers of course but par for their course,
Send your suggestions to….

The Mail
Zzzzzzzzports Desk
Sleepy Hollow House,
Somewhere in Tyne and Wear.

"If you take a subscription you will also get access to exclusive content which is only available to subscribers - including our daily online puzzles section.By taking a digital subscription you will also be supporting quality local journalism in Hartlepool, so we can keep bringing you the stories that matter including the very latest Hartlepool United news from Victoria Park."
https://www.hartlepoolmail.co.uk/sport/ ... ws-3057367

.."quality local journalism" ?...mind you the puzzles are ok like..

I question the word ‘local’ in the context of having a local office as opposed to banging away on your screen in the dining room/ local office.

snowy.."Have they got bog all to do but come up utterly bizarre scenarios, who cares?"

...one of many...thing is ...think recently they've done a series of similar f/ckwit articles on the same theme...where would pools be if the league table was based on ??..attendances...fair play...last 11 fixtures...record signings...now its injury time goals..bet the next one will be penalties...or maybe best pies...that richard mennear the fail sports editor must be laughing his ck off at what he can get away with ..dishing out this crap to mug punters while claiming it is "quality local journalism"..

I picked up a copy at the garage this morning with the proper papers, oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.. with ’Lee breaks silence over Pools exit’…I read it ……. but knew less after I read it than before I read it, no revelations, nothing….breaks silence? Breaking wind would have been more informative!
Then we had yet more pics of Poolies at Scunthorpe in their ‘Casualty’ outfits, must have covered everyone twice by now.
And so it went on, nothing of substance, just journalistic expanding foam.

I

Mr Accy it's produced by calcium intake which mainly comes from the amount of bone your dog eats. My two are fed raw which includes 10% bone and get a raw bone a week to keep their teeth tartare free and clean and also helps produce white poo. Hope this helps.

Fencing off small areas of parks and beauty spots for them to walk their dogs might work..either that or make them wear Hi viz jackets with numbers on the back,handy if you want to report someone who bends but doesn't scoop.

We're sick of getting it on our shoes whatever it is!!

What colours your shite Mr S….?

I haven't been today, roast beef was the main meal yesterday washed down with export lager..i'll check the colour for you later.

Constipated eh…..?

I find fish and chips cooked in beef dripping a great laxative.
Feel about a stone lighter after the download.

Who had a poo in Johnny Depp's bed seems to be taking up a lot of the news.

must have tried everything but nothing works for me. possibly living in yorkshire has made me think twice about giving anything away.

cheers, something new i have learned today from the bunker of all knowledge.