Not too hard, leave a little capacity for future jokes you have issue with and there will be.

It’s really hard to work out who ‘CJ’ Poolie is.

I actually feel sorry for the bloke.

If you're right, and I suspect you are, making up new user names so he can support racism on the sly is a new low. Even for a man sad enough to boast about getting rimmed by a dog.

What exactly is this "racism" that you accuse me of...? The way other folk who are not from round here talk is often mistaken for something else. My joke relies on that fact - it wouldn't work as a joke otherwise.

Working in Peterlee, I take the piss out of the way Pit Yackers speak every day of the week - and I get the same back from them. "Our Beert in his perlpe shert"

That you see nastiness in something as simple as a joke says more about you than a million words from me ever could...

Not getting involved in a lengthy debate where you get to put forward your worrying views on race again.

I used too. Now i think hes just a really really awful person.

Or I had no option to use this sign in as my phone broke and used my old one, couldn`t remember login for butt and this one came up with login remembered.

Not everything has to be skulduggery, just a short term solution you sad trolls and yubep, you used to be ok before the protein overload took effect, did it give you nippledick?

You couldn’t make up a bloke who puts the shite you do on this forum who has multiple user names having the brass neck to call anyone a ‘sad troll’. Unbelievable

Here lies the problem, you and stalker have too much time on your hands and you troll through threads looking to suck the joy out of it.
You know the type of humour on it but persist in bitching about content, just can't help yourselves, must be a self help group for it.

Joy and humour?

You’re completely deluded your patter absolutely honks, if you provided humour and joy and nobody would have an issue with your posts.

You could do with a dose of self awareness and reality.

Again you accuse people of something you are guilty of yourself, too much time on our hands when you are the one who’s set up endless amounts of profiles some just to try and get a reaction out of people. I mean I wonder who ‘CJ Poolie’ was aimed at? It’s pitiful stuff from a grown man. I have one user name and have only ever had one in about 20 years on Pools forums. You are the definition of a troll.

I mostly ignore the nonsense you spout Butt. I only look at the joke threads when somebody who isn't you has posted, sometimes they're actually funny, unlike your cut and paste efforts. I do take issue with racism whether it's deliberate and conscious or inadvertently included in 'humour' so in this case I replied to Go Ask Alice. Nowt to do with you or any of your accidental alternative usernames.

I'm not keen on homophobia, mocking the disabled, or belittling people on benefits either and that's why I end up commenting on your posts more than I'd like to. You consistently punch down and post stuff that I wouldn't want anybody to associate with the club I've supported since I was a little kid. Stop posting offensive shite on here and I'll happily ignore you.

It is said that there are only seven different types of joke, and I get that.

In the case of the one I posted, it is a misunderstanding of what what was being said by one person to another person that makes the joke work.

It is a variation of the same joke as the Two Ronnies' classic "Fork Handles/Four Candles" - in that person number one misconstrues what person number two is saying.

There is no hatred in what I posted, just a humourous scenario.

Any "racism" is imagined by you, and is not the intent of my post - which is simply to make folk chuckle...

That's exactly what I find worrying, you seriously believe that basing a joke on mispronunciations that a particular ethnic group are supposed to make when they speak English isn't racist.

Bet the hours fly bye in your chateau, hey funshack Eddie ooh ooh!

Any good Paddy goes to France jokes mr butt?

What has any of that deranged shite got to do with anything I said? If it is just meant to be personal abuse or some sort of wind up you'll need to do better. Using people's real names is poor though, specially from a spineless dick who hides behind multiple usernames.

He always gets personal with people he doesn’t know from Adam, yet uses terms like stalker towards others.

Very sad behaviour.

You are like an old lady, pokey curtains, get a job ya bore!

I have a job I really enjoy thanks.

Another irony is you take that route to get a reaction out of somebody you know nothing about other than your pathetic raking about to facilitate your trolling but didn't you effectively get sacked from a voluntary role because of your dreadful posts on this forum? Yet its still everybody else who's the problem and who's at fault.

Plus you constantly seem to brand people dull and the like. I can seriously think of nothing more tedious than the lengths you go to, to be an arsehole online. Setting up multiple accounts, personal insults and digs, posting intentionally inflammatory stuff simply for attention. Get some self awareness? Grow up?

I only had multiple accounts due to a ban and forgetting my login, it wasn`t an intent, you are a drama queen and a fence sitter, I prefer the direct approach, if you mean was I asked to leave my role at the trust then yes, as I refused to tone down my posts to suit Bornloser, or he wouldn`t renew his membership, still hasn`t I believe but not expected as he likes a drama too.

People are different with different opinions, I am homophobic but not racist, but like racy jokes, he doesn`t, get on with it.

Imagine being so out of touch with World that you are prepared to post ‘I am Homophobic’ on a public forum.

You are an absolute twat and a dinosaur, I feel sorry for your kids who are being brought up by a self confessed bigot. Is that on the fence enough for you, you absolute wanker? Time to stop associating myself with this shite.

A dinosaur because I cant abide blokes kissing, get fucked ya liberal woke.

Back to jokes only.
Just meet up for a roll about

What you said about me and the Trust is factually wrong Butt. I never said I would leave the Trust, I just told them the sort of stuff you posted and pointed out that didn't fit with their stated, inclusive ethos. They said they'd look into it and next day you were gone. At the time you claimed it was your decision but it looks like you've changed your mind.

I've never cancelled my HUST membership, I was on automatic renewal through PayPal but if that's gone wrong I'll renew by another route.

‘Get fucked ya liberal woke’

I happen to have family members and some very close friends who are Gay men, I make no apologies for calling you an absolute twat and would do so to your face. Bigot.

You have a narrow experience of the World and life. Plus you have posted plenty of racist shite on here you ugly fat bastard.

That is one more post than I ever wanted to make on here again.

Mr I you are back do the honours for me please.

Usually people who have got issue with homosexuality generally have something they need to get off their chest in my experience

I find it offensive and come from a different era, an arse is an exit in my book but you accept whatever you like, I don`t pass it on to my kids but you know fuck all about anything unless it fits into your little window of what you know, better off speaking to the trouser wearer really, is she in?

My nana is 90 is December, her grandson is getting married to man in the summer she loves and supports them both as they are both lovely and decent people.

To be offended by a person living how they want to has fuck all to do with ‘generations’ more than if you are a massive c***t or not. To be fair with your dog rimming story in mind this is probably a natural reaction to being rejected by your own species never mind sex. Is this off the fence enough for you yet?

Could please some one stop me reacting further to this absolute arsehole

Aye he’s probably a secret homosexual


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

What about lesbians?

I do indeed. My post contains no hatred, incitement to commit violence, nor wickedness of any kind towards anyone whatsoever.

People who do not speak English as a first language DO mispronounce words. Even folk who speak it naturally can misconstrue things - hence my example of the Two Ronnies' "Four Candles" sketch.

The so-called "rascism" exists only in your head, as the self-appointed moral guardian of this forum....

As a big fan of diversity, I must admit I'm not too keen on this amalgam between accents and race. It's a form of dilution.
But the last place I want to argue that point is on a football message board.

Ofcom introducing new laws about cyber bullying.

2 Irish fudgepackers
William Fitzpatrick n Patrick Fitzwilliam.

I wouldn't argue they're the same thing at all Monty, not even close. Even so, I would argue that mocking stereotyped accents as part of jokes that make a particular ethnic group look stupid is often part of a wider pattern of racism against. As a broad rule of thumb I'd say if an ethnic group are treated in a racist manner it is probably wise to steer clear of accent based jokes unless you're OK with contributing to that wider abuse.

It is a difficult area though and I wouldn't accuse anybody of being a dyed in the wool racist because of one ill-advised joke. There shouldn't be any harm in discussing it on a football forum but maybe you're right, it does seem to bring out the worst in some people.

I have attended a marriage between two men and what a great day it was and you couldn't wish to meet two nicer people. I am proud of the fact that one of them is my brother-in-law and a friend.
They have been together for forty years or more and were married as soon as it was possible to do so.
I would never consider marrying a man but good luck to those who make that commitment.
It's a person's choice as I see it.
End of.

One man's stereotype is another man's caricature. Inspector Clouseau, Fernandel's Dubonnet advert, the whole cast of Allô Allô, Hrundi V Bakshi, hovercrafts full of eels, all possible because we're so diverse and can enjoy the fact.

A cowboy went into a German car dealership and said...................Audi

Nice to see this thread is back to jokes.
Hopefully the bad crack is a thing of the past.

While Jim Apple was having trouble introducing himself in France, at a hotel in Berlin, his friend Gordon Morgan was having a similar issue at breakfast.

Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference.At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket.”How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?” asks an accountant.”Watch and you’ll see,” answers an engineer.
All of them board the train.The accountants take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them.Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, “Ticket, please.”The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.The accountants saw this and agreed it was a clever idea.
So after the conference, the accountants decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money .When they get to the station they buy a single ticket for the return trip.To their astonishment, the engineers don’t buy a ticket at all.”How are you going to travel without a ticket?” says one perplexed accountant.”Watch and you’ll see,” answers an engineer.When they board the train the three accountants cram into a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs.Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the accountants are hiding.He knocks on the door and says, “Ticket, please.”

Lord Filthyrich:
"Lady, Filthyrich, in these difficult times brought on by this damned virus, we need to keep a close eye on our expenses. I suggest you take cooking lessons so we can dispense with the cook."
Lady Filthyrich:
"I totally agree. and might I suggest you also take the necessary lessons to allow us to dispense with the gamekeeper."

As a big fan of diversity, I must admit I'm not too keen on this amalgam between the old nobility, stinginess and cuckoldry. It's a form of dilution.
But the last place I want to argue that point is on a football message board.

Good analysis of who's fair game and who isn't.
Er.
I think.
(Gamekeeper pun purely accidental.)

A woman went on vacation, leaving her husband behind. Before she left, she told him to take extra special care of her cat.
The next day she called her husband and asked if the cat was all right.
Her husband said: The cat just died.
She burst into tears and said: How could you be so blunt? Why couldn't you have broken the news gradually!
Today, you could have said that it was playing on the roof; tomorrow, you could have said that it fell off and had broken its leg; then on the third day, you could have said that the poor thing had passed away in the night. You could have been more sensitive about the whole thing.
By the way, how is my mom?
Husband: She is playing on the roof..

There is a plane carrying 5 passengers:

Nicola Sturgeon, Boris Johnson, Donald Trump, The Pope and a 10 year old school boy.

The plane begins to go down and is about to crash. There is only 4 parachutes on board.

Nicola Sturgeon says "I have to live, I have the Scottish independence to sort out." and takes a parachute and jumps.

The Pope says "I have to live, I have sort out the Catholic Church." and takes a parachute and jumps.

Donald Trump says "I have to live, I'm the smartest man in America." and takes a parachute and jumps.

Boris Johnson looks at the 10 year old school boy and says "You can have the last parachute. I'm alot older than you and I've lived my life, yours has yet to begin."

The 10 year old school boy says "Don't worry Mr Johnson. There's 2 parachutes left. The smartest man in America just took my school bag."

The real punchline is that Kier Starmer was the pilot and he pulled the plane up and landed safely.

Two priests step into the communal shower, when they notice there's no soap. One says, "I'll go to my room and get two bars." He runs naked to the room, grabs the bars, but as he's running back, three nuns show up. Not knowing what else to do, he freezes like a statue...
The nuns look at the statue and say, "Such a beautiful figure, perfectly shaped!" One of them, admiring its "toy soldier" decides do pull it. The priest's reaction to the enormous pain makes him drop one of the soap bars, but he holds his pose. The nun conclude then, that it's no statue, it's actually is a soap machine!! The second nun happily does exactly the same and the priest drops the second bar of soap.
The third nun pulls it once. Nothing. Pulls it twice. Nothing. Pulls it thrice. Nothing. Pulls it again and again and again. Finally, amazed at the result says, "Lord be praised! It also gives hair conditioner!!"

BJ needs to cash a cheque. As he approaches the cashier he says, "Good morning, could you please cash this cheque for me?"

Cashier: It would be my pleasure. Could you please show me your ID?

BJ: Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am Boris Johnson, Prime Minister.

Cashier: Yes, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of impostors and forgers and requirements of the legislation, etc., I must insist on seeing ID.

BJ: Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am.

Cashier: I am sorry, Mr Johnson, but these are the bank rules and I must follow them.

BJ: Come on please, I am urging you, please cash this cheque.

Cashier: Alright sir, here is an example of what we can do. One day, Tiger Woods came into the bank without an ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the Thames into a cup of tea held by the bank's chairman without spilling a drop. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his cheque.

Another time, Gordon Ramsay came in without an ID. To prove who he was, he made delicious chicken parm right here on my table, called the branch manager a fucking donkey, and fired everyone at the fish and chips joint next door. With that we knew who he was and cashed his cheque. So sir, what can you do to prove that it is you and only you?

Johnson stands there thinking and thinking and finally says, "Honestly, my mind is a total blank. There is nothing that comes to my mind. I can't think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do."

Cashier: That will do just fine good sir, will that be large or small notes?

A woman and her ten-year-old son were riding in a taxi.
It was raining and all the prostitutes were standing under the awnings.
"Mum," said the boy, "What are all those women doing?"
"They're waiting for their husbands to get off work", she replied.
The taxi driver turns round and says, "Geez lady, why don't you tell him the truth? They're hookers, boy! They have sex with men for money."
The little boy's eyes got wide and he said, "Is that true, Mum?"
His mother, glaring hard at the taxi driver, answers in the affirmative.
After a few minutes, the kid asked, "Mum, what happens to their babies?"
"Most of them become taxi drivers", she said.

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts:
Leave me the Fu Cologne.