AFC Crimdon (1-1) FC1NIL.
FC Alybaba (3-3) The Lucky 13.
Covid-19 (1-3) Steetley W.V.
Itsjustflu (0-2) Zeppelin.
Flying pig (0-0) Lowfields.
Fulchester (1-0) Bootboys.
Dynamo Stkton (4-0) FC Twente Myfr.
FC Greatham (3-0) Blueturnstiles.
Dep la Corona (0-4) Sixatback.
Fookit (0-1) The Jolly Boys.
Andrex (2-0) Sweet FA.
Kilfinan (0-0) Dads Army.
Table and top scorers to follow.

Gerrin ! I knew Fookit were susceptible to the counter attack.

Get in Zeppelin FC...

Say we are joint fourth the league.
We are joint fourth in the league.

I demand a VAR review!!!

Important message to all opponents of Steetley WV FC. Please wear protective gas masks. Nothing to do with Corona virus its because of the yellow smog when the wind drifts across West View. Hospitality is provided at The Brus Arms pre and post match.

0-0 away from home on the first day is a good result, gives us a chance to build on it in the next few weeks, gives the team time to gel, build up fitness, we were poor in front of goal & didn't take our chances when we had them, but on the positive side our defence was solid, and many other clichés, blah, blah, blah!!!

We wuz robbed

Andrex (2-0) Sweet FA.

We have got to be happy with a good 2 nil result, at home.

The fitness regime that is being used, is paying off from preseason.

My team that won at Fookit

1. Kevin Hodge
2. Keith Austin
3. Hugh McKinnon
4. Micky Westwood
5. John McStrodder
6. Mark Murray
7. Brian Clarke
8. Dean Tinkler
9. Bob Watson
10. Adam Porter
11. Richie Dalton

Subs
Kevin Hodge
Paul Humphries
Tony Barker
Joel Boyd
Chris Nelson
Willie Emerson

If they all get the best attributes of both donors you'll walk the league. If it turns out to be cut and shunts of their flaws you're heading for relegation!

Owway Fulchester!

Can I sack me manager? My current one is a fat silly boy who wears black jumpers and is clearly Incompetent...

Fook it!

Bloody Fulchester wankers!!!!

Fook it! [/quote

Diving , dropping like flys, wasting time, should call yourself Ebbsfleet,

We should have had more than 1. Saved penalty, hit the woodwork 3 times, and Borthwick missed an open goal. Your only chance was that free kick that deflected wide.

Paulus, when are the highlights online?

To be fair Itsjustflu were by far the better team. They will be up there at the end of the season.

I think we need to strengthen at the back in the middle and at the front or I can see it being a long season. Not looking forward to the relegation dog fight.

I know we won the first game of the season away but I also support a team called Hartlepool and have lived through these false dawn's for over forty years.

BT have been on the phone wanting to cover one of our games....I'll get them to pay up front

I saw someone at my game with a hat that had a camera inside, maybe he knows?

Winning at all costs, is all that matters, its true we at The Jolly Boys FC are adopting the combined ideologies of both Ebbsfleet , Dover and Leeds United of the early 70s in our pursuit of glory this season. Add to that our small but close knit raucous fanbase who make the Jeremy Corbyn stadium a very intimidating place for away teams .

we have a hard game against the Jolly Boys at there place , I have told my players not to be intimidated, and don't get sucked into there gamesmanship.

Our players will give as good as they get, I have warned Diego L Pitbull, of there tactics to get him sent off.

Andrex FC

Should be a good game , would appreciate it , don't forget to bring some loo roll up with you Andrex FC, we're running a bit short up here so we're not putting any in the away teams dressing room, sorry for the inconvenience. Jolly Boys FC

No need to panic Horden, some of my backroom staff, are from the soviet era of glasnost, and then perestroika in that spirit we will bring you some.

How come I lost 4-0

Your goalkeeper was sent off after 35 mins, and the replacement keeper was struck by lightning after 73 mins.

Game 2 results:-

FC1NIL (1-3) FC Alybaba
The Lucky13 (3-3) Covid-19
Steetley W.V (3-2) Itsjustflu
Zeppelin (2-2) Flying pig
Lowfields (1-1) Fulchester
Bootboys (1-0) Dynamo Stkton
FC Twente Myfr (3-1) FC Greatham
Blueturnstiles (4-1) Dep la Corona
Sixatback (0-3) Fookit
The Jolly Boys (3-2) Andrex
SweetFA (1-4) Kilfinan
Dad's Army (2-2) AFC Crimdon

Battling draw. Come on Zeppelins.
Slipping down the table though!!!!

Jolly Boys 3 v 2 Andrex

Jolly Boys manager said

"Great game today, end to end , Andrex are a good team on paper, but in the end we proved to be the better team on grass, with Bob Watson in great form. The aim was to get the 3 points and keep a clean sheet , but Andrex capitalised on a couple of defensive errors that was unlike us. I'm not going to tear a strip off the defenders , we are second top and unbeaten , to be honest I'm quite flushed with the start we've made"

A good game for the neutral supporter, we got right back into the game, after losing a early goal.
when the game went to 2..2 after 88 mins, I thought we done enough for a point.
Diego L Pitbull is putting the goals away with a brace today so that's a positive for the team.

However, when someone throw a loo roll over our goal, just as jolly Boys where taking a corner into the 90 min, our keeper was distracted, which resulted in a goal, and a point going down the pan.

How can anyone score 2 against Flyingpig FC with Ken Simpkins in goal?

Yeah apologies for that, I hope we don't face any disciplinary action from the league. Did your keeper throw it back by the way ? couldn't find it anywhere in the ground at the end of the game

Violence is seemingly on the increase in this league , heard at one game today, a coin was thrown at a player, it was then handed to the ref, but then the player then noticed it was a Brexit 50p and wanted it back, the referee refused saying he wanted it, the player pushed him and was then sent off for Violent Conduct, by which time the fan who threw it, realised what was going on and ran onto the pitch, asking for his 50p back, stating had he known it was a Brexit 50p before he threw it , he would've sold it on Ebay for £7. Unbelievable !

What was the match day lottery number at the Zeppelin v Flying pig game?

The tannoy was crackling but it definitely ended in a 4.

Mine ended in 5...............

Played two lost two! I’m panicking already. Is the transfer window open?

Has anyone got Steve Howard in their team? Or is it to early? Just asking like.

Someone's put a brick through the transfer window, so I need to ring a glazier in the morning and get that sorted.

"Someone's put a brick through the transfer window, so I need to ring a glazier in the morning and get that sorted."

You might have to wait a while because every available glazier is now an NHS worker queueing outside the supermarkets first thing this morning along with the toilet roll hoarders, the hand santitzer discoverers and the younger shovers of older folk. (No reflection on the many excellent glaziers around and hope no personal insult was taken. Just a reflection of the madness virus that has now hit us all) .

One of our scouts , old Bill at Jolly Boys will be able to help, he just happens to be in the area, will ask him to pop in , if that's ok?

Game 3 results:-
FC Alybaba (2-2) Steetley W.V
Covid-19 (1-2) Zeppelin
Itsjustflu (1-1) Lowfields
Flying pig (1-2) Bootboys
Fulchester (2-2) FC Twente Myfr
Dynamo Stkton (1-4) Blueturnstiles
FC Greatham (1-0) Sixatback
Dep la Corona (2-1) Jolly Boys
Fookit FC (1-4) Sweet FA
Andrex FC (3-2) Dad's Army
Kilfinan Utd (1-2) FC1NIL
AFC Crimdon (2-2) The Lucky 13

FFS 1 point from 9, the league is rigged.

Five goals conceded in two games....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYDIMWpcKqI

Fuck sake! 2 points dropped to a late equaliser. Should have been out of sight by then. Another penalty saved, and at least 3 really good chances to go 3-1 up in the second half.

Fair play to Twente, though, they stuck in there and didn't give up.

Finally a win on the board!

Happy with 3..2 win at home, after our loss to the Jolly Boys to the same scoreline. mind you we are conceding a few. will have to look at our defence and seeing games out. goal difference could be crucial in this league.
Diago L Pitbull scores again
Andex FC

Dep La Corona 2 v 1 Jolly Boys

I just knew it, always happens, the game you think its just a case of turning up. I said to the players before the game " Dep la Corona are a better side than their position in the table suggests , they all nodded in agreement , then they go out on the pitch and seemed to forget what I had said, they never got going , to be honest we could've been 3 down at half time rather than by a solitary goal. We improved in the final 20 minutes and could've even snatched a draw , but had we it would've been undeserved ". I was disappointed with a few of the players today, only positive to take from the game was another goal for big bad Bob Watson , but all in all we've made a reasonable start , so we move on to the next game and hopefully put this disappointment behind us.

Zeppelins flying high.

For now. Reckon your season will go up in flames and you will come back down to earth with a bang

Fookit FC (1-4) Sweet FA.

The loan signing of Ristiano Cronaldo has really turned the tide. Hat trick on his debut.