May as well have some real jokes from real comedians, if only to annoy Monkeybutt:

Dave’s 10 funniest jokes of the 2019 fringe:


1. I keep randomly shouting out “Broccoli” and “Cauliflower”. I think I might have Florets. – Olaf Falafel

2. Someone stole my antidepressants. Whoever they are, I hope they’re happy. – Richard Stott

3. What’s driving Brexit? From here it looks like it’s probably the Duke of Edinburgh. – Milton Jones

4. A cowboy asked me if I could help him round up 18 cows. I said, “Yes, of course. That’s 20 cows.” – Jake Lambert

5. A thesaurus is great. There’s no other word for it. – Ross Smith

6. Sleep is my favourite thing in the world. It’s the reason I get up in the morning. – Ross Smith

7. I accidentally booked myself on to an escapology course; I’m really struggling to get out of it. – Adele Cliff

8. After learning six hours of basic semaphore, I was flagging. – Richard Pulsford

9. To be or not to be a horse rider, that is Equestrian. – Mark Simmons

10. I’ve got an Eton-themed advent calendar, where all the doors are opened for me by my dad’s contacts. – Ivo Graham

heard better at the vic.

Mr Butts used a few of these.

That load O shite makes Monkey Butt sound like Bernard Manning/Chubby brown!

Not really jokes at all, just a play on words, if that florets one was voted as the best "joke" it doesn't say much for the rest of them.

I'm not a big fan of standup anyway, if I'm going to pay daft money for live entertainment I'd rather see a band, but if you watch something like Live At The Apollo on TV you get entire acts doing exactly that.

I'd have vote for No.10 myself, at least it's satire.

So they've used some of mine if they only just had it, Dullard!

He's a future star .Butlins or Benidorm next maybe .. Any news on One Liners Part 6 ??