Last week I took me and the bairns for a trim at the usual salon. On Saturdays they're supposed to close at 3.30pm, we got there at 2.40pm and the workshy gets had bolted the door.

So we went in the nearest one which is one of these Turkish efforts. I have to say they did a pretty good quick job, and perhaps the best thing of all is the thing they do when they burn off all your ear hair.

It stinks for a bit like, but its worth it. My ears are getting like Yoda's, loads of tufts of white fluff all ober them.

they seem to be fine for those who like their hair short. like my longish grey and black locks too much.

I have boycotted barbers for years!

Love the one near me. Yes the main cut is a shaver so not the traditional barber, but if your hair is short then it's ideal. Love the whole burning ear hair thing. Just don't go for the face wax thing as it pulls out your nose hair...can't imagine childbirth is that bad. i'm only 35 as well so god help me if they did that when i'm 60, and burning ear hair will probably set the whole place on fire.

I pull my nose hair out with tweezers, once you get used to the initial pain its enjoyable.
Don't do it when driving though as it makes you cry a little and affects vision.

plus there,s a chance of getting 3 points per hair if plod spots you.

Me and the lad went to a barbers in Famagusta a couple of days ago, the lad who goes regular was needing a haircut, as I don’t have a great deal left, I decided on a shave. Wow, started with cut throat razor, then hot towels etc. Then firelighters in the ears followed by nostril shave. Then this cotton thingy on my eyebrows, all for 6 euros. I am thinking of going back as the whiskers, ear and nose hair have started again, but disappointed as I thought the smooth skin was permanent.

The napalming of the ears and snout is very effective. I used to go to an Iraqi barber in Bexleyheath who did the same.

I have a theory that follicles don't die as you age, they succumb to gravity and move from your scalp down to ears, noses and arsehole.

Interesting fact.

"Your nose hair contributes to your well-being in several ways. Airborne pathogens never reach your respiratory tract because of your nasal hairs. They are aided by your mucus, which traps particles and germs. If irritants do get by your nasal hairs and into your respiratory tract, you often sneeze to expel them."

Same with your ears and arse.

I think the Bunker has hit its lowest point of subject matter!

I bet I will be able to drag it down further.

John Joyce are offering odds of 1/16 on that it will go lower.

I get this, i do. But why do we need more as we age? Does the body think we are less able to fight off infection over the age of 30 and thus goes into over drive on production...

I have the utmost respect for your abilities in this regard.

Cheers!

Just this morning I discovered a stray bit of thread on the carpet which had miraculously coiled itself into the shape of a cock.

Almost like seeing the face of Jesus, but his chopper instead.

Excellent my investment of a £1.00 bet at 1/16 returned me £1.06.

He has given us a sign! The carpet thread is the sign!

We've got a Kurdish barbers near us and as I now sport a rather fetching beard I thought I'd give them a go. Male pampering. Bit weird initially for a Yorkshireman who likes to have a quick shave, speak as little as possible, pay my fiver and fuck off....but this was decent. Nose hair was waxed. Beard expertly trimmed. Hot towel. Very little chatter. Happy days.

Aledgedly them Thai barbers have a female assistant who will empty u bags for an xtra few quid.
Cut n Blow. Specials.for.a.fiver.
Think il take over that barbers nr King John's.
Easy money. discount for pools. ST holders.
Raj over the moon with the higher crowds at Pools.
UTP.

You're lucky. When I went to a Kurdish barbers all I said was "Te çi ye ku der barê Nicky Featherstone da ku derkeve?" and they never stopped talking.

There’s a canny few Turkish barbers in Hartlepool, I’ve been to a few.

They took about 40 minutes to cut your hair. Which makes me think how the hell do they make money.

They don’t really listen to your instructions and kinda just cut your hair how they want it to look.

One mush shaved me beard right down to a number 1, didn’t ask him too, then tried to charge me £13 for it.

I stick to park road barbers now. Good cut and decent banter.


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is there actually a barber who calls his shop Sweeney Todds.

It’ll be from the last supper.

I suppose its ok to have your nose and ear hair done in a barbers but i think arse hair is going to far.
Probably the best thing is to ignite a fart with a match. Make sure that the dog is in another room as it might burn its nose.

Is that advice for Monkeybutt?