Hopefully Harry will turn up late after a night out with the lads, still pissed and with an Adama Traore haircut.

Not sure that the FA final will be that entertaining this year so Saturday may be saved by Harry.

BBC1 coverage for Saturday.

9am to 2pm wedding
2pm to 7 footie
7pm to 8.30pm wedding highlights
10.50pm to 11.25 footie highlights

Flogging two dead horses?

You didn't mention the time for the horse flogging, sounds the best part of the day. Although I'll end up watching the FA cup.

Perfect timing. Our lass will watch it though she says she doesn't really care, then she can't complain when the footy's on!

Could not give two fucks about it, Afterall it's the British public that's paying for the full palava!

Is it just the cake we're paying for?

They could have got married on the pitch at half time instead of the schools penalty shoot out.

I'm hoping to avoid the lot, going to the 'Rail Ale' beer festival near Chesterfield.

FA Cup final tea time kick off is shit, contested by 2 teams that its hard to work out which one you loathe the least.

As for the 'royal' wedding, at what point will true parentage be admitted? It's the biggest open secret in the country.

Do you mean Merkel rather than Markle.

Two totally inconsequential, out of touch with reality, fabulously wealthy people having a bit of a beano, an actress getting hitched to an actor. How anyone can have the slightest interest in in this carnival of pomposity is beyond me. The worst thing is the way the media fawn all over the royals, peeing their pants every time one of the inbred buffoons show their chinless mug in public, and as for the idiots who camp out for weeks in their union jack waistcoats, well they should just be lined up and shot. Can you tell i'm not a fan of the royals, don't think I'll be watching on Saturday, unless something goes catastrophically wrong, might have a look then.

"one of the inbred buffoons show their chinless mug"

I think this wedding will enlarge the gene pool quite a bit.

James Hewitt had a good go at that.

Just seen on the news the people already in position in camp chairs in Windsor. It’s Wednesday. I am in the main against Police brutality but these people deserve at the very least some light tasering.

Harry and Meghan Masks .Flags.Bunting.. all flying off the shelves down here.

I will ensure that I am at least 50 miles from the nearest TV. I would rather sit through the Eurovision Song Contest than this irrelevant, trashy event.

We don't even get a day off work. Thats Royal ingratitude.

They're sleeping out in just sleeping bags as tents are banned in the area, just to get the best views. Not something I'd ever contemplate doing but live and let live.

Harry will have to go on Jeremy Kyle for a parentage test to upstage his new family. They're like the ugly Kardassians such is their love of the spotlight.

Ok I’ll downgrade it to one kidney bat per person as an allowance for them being touched.

A view of what exactly as well!? It’s not as if they’re going to get some canopies or witness the speeches, people all over the World will see more on TV. Loonies.

Will Saturday Kitchen be moved to BBC2? It'd better be or I'm writing to Points of view.

Shoplifting trends tend to follow what is in demand at the time I suppose. As long as it pays for your Special Brew and/or smack it’s by the by.

You spew sodden fool

You're all talking as though it's only Britain that's getting worked up about the wedding.
I don't even have British telly and I can't take it any more. I'm sure the likes of Mr T. Louse will concur.

I'm going to the Lakes for the weekend. Booked into the YHA. No telly, Thank Fuck.

Absolute balloons camping in the streets, I bet not one of the sycophantic blurts has ever had a wank, never mind full sex (with a human).

I fucking LOATHE the Royals.

When's Phelan back on Corra?
Oh wrong thread not sorry.

The royal family can get to fuck

Megan is a canny looking lass like

She's a stunner but she surely can't have a family that bonkers and come out of it unaffected. She's done alright from her looks mind, never going to work again and will have more holidays than Rooney's mrs.

I have just noticed that this thread has 24 replies and the "pools under investigation" only 23.
Interesting!

About as interesting as the thread's subject, but there you go, have 26.

And on the subject of American actresses, a belated RIP for Margot Kidder, who according to various Hollywood tell-alls of the 8os was famous around the studios long before she became Superman's girlfriend. Apparently her motto was, 'If you want to get ahead, give head' and as her nearest rival Sharon Stone used to say, #Me Too!

You're right. I've heard her side of the family are a bit disjointed as well.

It's like Harry is marrying into the Gallagher family from Shameless. I'm expecting Frank to turn up the church brandishing a can of Stella.

I've been invited, mate but turned them down. Got too much gardening to do.

its like The Royle Family, meets Shameless pure comedy gold.

Whatever next, does Meghan turn out to be an American CIA Operative

I've been told too get out the house for the wedding,and then i'm a taxi service for the afternoon. Still it's a fairytale day.God bless em.

Has anyone from Hartlepool been invited?
I see to recall something.....like

Ironic, coming from people who paid to watch Hartlepool United this season

The Bunker's quiet given no-ones watching the wedding. Everyone must be out making the most of the weather with their sandal and sock combos.

The missus has got it on. They appear to have invited the preacher from the Blues Brothers.

I will hunt you down

Well that was a bit different and raised a few eyebrows too.

I wonder if Gammon is on the menu at the piss up?

Now where are my sandals?