In most films, why when they are in bed do they leave the curtains open
I can`t stand the light coming in and have a blackout blind.

Also, if you are having a takeaway coffee, at least make it look like it has some in, maybe it is just shitty acting!

Foreigners always speak English to each other, especially when there are no English people around.

Specially shaped bedsheets exist that reach up to armpit level on the woman’s side only.

No prior training is needed to emergency land a plane. To try your hand at this, always be the one passenger who didn't eat the fish.

The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

Shops that sell bombs to terrorists and criminals always fit them with a big red LED display and colour the wires.

If your 100-shot handgun ever runs out of ammunition, a loaded magazine will automatically appear in your free hand.

To get past a Nazi roadblock, imitate an officer by adopting a caricatural German accent.

A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

When paying for a taxi, just take any random banknote from your wallet without looking. It will always match the exact fare.

Kitchen light switches are located in the fridge.

Medieval peasants had perfect teeth and the women all wore mascara.

When driving down a perfectly straight road, turning the wheel from side to side alleviates the need to look at the road while you talk to the other passengers.

If you are visiting a building in a city, always travel by car. There will be a free parking spot exactly in front of the entrance.

When confronted by a gang of hoodlums, immediately adopt a martial arts posture so each one will patiently await their turn to attack you.

Every time you turn the TV on there will be a news flash that is relevant to a concern of yours.

Once applied, lipstick is impossible to remove.

Brilliant! This one could run and run.

English actors working in Hollywood must keep their own accent when playing the villain but must adopt an American accent when playing the hero.

A fim buff

After immediately taking something out of the oven take a big mouthful....don't worry it won't be piping hot!!!!

More of a http://tvtropes.org buff actually.

When hunting a murderer, always overlook the distant relative from New Zealand, who has crept into the country unseen and is bent on taking revenge for a 20 year old slight.

To show off your detective skills, have a superior who thinks the case isn't worth time or effort and doesn't see the significance of several highly significant clues.

Never sit down for a meal without first waiting for a telephone call which will cause you to rush out to a crime scene without dinner.

Why did Sheriff Roscoe P Coltrane always get involved in a car chase with those pesky Duke Boys? The chase always seemed to end in a right off police car! Hazard County citizens council tax must have been sky high as they had to buy at least 1 new Police car every week!!!! Also if said Sheriff was any good, he knew where the Duke's lived so instead of chasing them would surely just drive sensibly to their house, have a cuppa with Uncle Jessee and await their return ?

Never bathe before having sex on the kitchen bench or spraying with bacterial spray afterward and then prepping food without washing hands or work surfaces

If you are a Crime Scene Investigator looking for clues in a darkened room never put the light on. The dim, thin beam of a torch will do.

If a mad axe murderer is killing the members of your group one by one, don't under any circumstances stay together.

When 30 men with machine guns fire at you and your giving it Billy, they never get you, but when you shoot your pistol with 6 bullets randomly, you kill the scoundrels

Give me a good 1950/60's Sci-Film any day.

And so do Welsh tourist information staff till they realise you're English and start talking Welsh.

never finish your pint in a pub. never finish your meal either. always wisper till you,ve got to put up the sound