I'm currently at the walk-in waiting to be seen by a doctor as my left knacker has swollen to twice the normal size. It doesn't hurt much, more of a dull ache.

Has this happened to anyone else?

I was worried I had testicular torsion, which is when a bollock gets twisted in its socket and the blood supply gets cut off. Sometimes known as 'strangulated testicle'. It has happened to a couple of people I know, one of who lost one when it turned gangrenous. The other bloke had his caught in time and had it unravelled during an operation.

Thankfully the nurse who assessed me reckons it isn't torsion, but I'm worried it might be something else. He seemed delighted to be handling my scrotum early on a Sunday morning. Not.

If it's happened very quickly it's more than likely a partial torsion, I've had this happen a couple of times, on both occasions I've been admitted as it's precautionary, as they can untwist over time or in some cases an op' is required. Don't be surprised if a specialist has to roll his thumbs over them to determine if they're falling back into place.....rather embarrassing/sensitive.

It turns out I've got water-on-the-ball. Can't remember what the technical term is, but basically fluid trapped in a vessel somewhere. Will hopefully go away by itself, although I do need to have a 'sample' taken which will involve a needle. Ayatch!

Haven't you had massive balls before????

They sag more than I think they should.

Hydrocell, worst case scenario, they cut your sac open, take your ball out, drain it, put it all back and stitch you up, ps, it hurts like buggery for a couple of weeks.


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How many others have read this thread with their legs crossed!

Poolieinnottingham didn't that's for certain.

are you all wheels and no cannon

No way my legs can close at the moment.

Never heard that before, its a good 'un. Described by a great word - rantallion.

Can you now change the title to "anyone had rantallion before" as it's making me eyes water. Get the ice pack on it.

Didn't make meself clear - a rantallion is a person who has a lot of veg but a little meat.

Oh I c.

What a load of bollox

Happened to me when i worked at Nissan sent me to doctors he just give me pills and went down quite quick.

All this talk of testicular torsion and hydrocell takes the fun right out of a quiet game of pocket billiards.

I only got a lollipop when I went to the doctors!!!!

Mate, I'm starting to think that indignities like ball exams is just stuff you have to get used to after hitting 40 (by the way, how the hell did we get there so quickly?). Cheer up though, at least you didn't voluntarily allow some gadjey to cut open your nut sack, yank out your pipes, snip em and burn the ends.

Sat here with a pair of nutcrakers and a walnut thinking of your plight

Surely he should be struck off for fellating patients?

Err.....

How's yer danglers now after a couple of days, are you still walking like John Wayne ?

It seems to going down slowly, like the doctor said. I can walk alright, it's stooping and kneeling and stuff that makes it yuck a bit.