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 Post subject: monkeybutt/food advice
PostPosted: Tue Mar 22, 2016 9:01 pm 
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Been the resident cook can you help me out ?

I really enjoy a poached egg on toast with lashings of hp brown but I can never seem to cook them right they always look like a load of jizz floating on top the water after you've just soaped your todger up a bit to much in the bath !

What's the secret to a perfect poached egg


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 Post subject: Re: monkeybutt/food advice
PostPosted: Tue Mar 22, 2016 9:18 pm 
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Location: Sittin on the Fence
Put water in a pan, add vinegar, boil. when boiling turn off heat stir water add egg to middle, leave, once the water has nearly stopped rotating, carefully remove egg with a slotted spoon.

For better results, do as above, but crack the egg into a ramekin then add to water, that way the white and yolk will stay together and have less jizz on the water surface .

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"Takeaways are for life, not just treats or special occasions or Xmas! (The Bishop)


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 Post subject: Re: monkeybutt/food advice
PostPosted: Tue Mar 22, 2016 9:33 pm 
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Lorraine Pascale says

"Pour 4cm of water into a really wide saute pan or deep frying pan and bring to the boil on a high heat. Then, turn the heat down to bring the water to a gentle simmer. Crack the egg into a very small bowl or tea cup and then slide the egg into the water. Repeat with other eggs, spacing them out. Cook for 3-4 mins until the white is cooked, but the yolk is still soft to the touch. Remove with a slotted spoon."

Hope this helps.

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"Takeaways are for life, not just treats or special occasions or Xmas! (The Bishop)


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 Post subject: Re: monkeybutt/food advice
PostPosted: Tue Mar 22, 2016 10:46 pm 
verbalkint wrote:
Been the resident cook can you help me out ?

I really enjoy a poached egg on toast with lashings of hp brown but I can never seem to cook them right they always look like a load of jizz floating on top the water after you've just soaped your todger up a bit to much in the bath !

What's the secret to a perfect poached egg


There is a strong chance I will be taking Stages over as my own business, come for breakfast and I`ll make you some, keep you informed, May sometime, just waiting for the official nod :wink:

In the mean time, Bishop is close and so is the French bird, I bring the water to just so the water is bubbling, spot of vinegar to help set the white, you don`t taste it, swirl the water to make a whirlpool and crack the egg in the middle, the white shoud encase the yolk and approx 90 secs to 2 minutes depending on egg size, don`t let em boil, remove with a net scoop or slotted spoon, otherwise toast gets wet, use uncut bread and toast it, spread with lurpak and Bob is your Aunties brother :ugeek:

Do not add salt to the water, makes egg go hard :naughty:


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 Post subject: Re: monkeybutt/food advice
PostPosted: Tue Mar 22, 2016 11:03 pm 
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I attempted to get poached eggs at King Johns the other morning to which I was told 'sorry we have no poached eggs' to which I presumed meant they had no eggs. My mate then orders a fry up and gets two fried eggs with it! Do these places buy in ready poached eggs now?

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 Post subject: Re: monkeybutt/food advice
PostPosted: Tue Mar 22, 2016 11:15 pm 
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monkeybutt wrote:
verbalkint wrote:
Been the resident cook can you help me out ?

I really enjoy a poached egg on toast with lashings of hp brown but I can never seem to cook them right they always look like a load of jizz floating on top the water after you've just soaped your todger up a bit to much in the bath !

What's the secret to a perfect poached egg


There is a strong chance I will be taking Stages over as my own business, come for breakfast and I`ll make you some, keep you informed, May sometime, just waiting for the official nod :wink:

In the mean time, Bishop is close and so is the French bird, I bring the water to just so the water is bubbling, spot of vinegar to help set the white, you don`t taste it, swirl the water to make a whirlpool and crack the egg in the middle, the white shoud encase the yolk and approx 90 secs to 2 minutes depending on egg size, don`t let em boil, remove with a net scoop or slotted spoon, otherwise toast gets wet, use uncut bread and toast it, spread with lurpak and Bob is your Aunties brother :ugeek:

Do not add salt to the water, makes egg go hard :naughty:



Brilliant news on the café but you haver a slight problem there your special sausages wont be available anymore will they :shock:

Wait till I tell our lass she misses her monkeybutts parmo sadx


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 Post subject: Re: monkeybutt/food advice
PostPosted: Tue Mar 22, 2016 11:16 pm 
It is a faff on when your busy, I used to pre do them and into an ice bath, then into the hot water and 45 secs done.


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 Post subject: Re: monkeybutt/food advice
PostPosted: Tue Mar 22, 2016 11:17 pm 
verbalkint wrote:
monkeybutt wrote:
verbalkint wrote:
Been the resident cook can you help me out ?

I really enjoy a poached egg on toast with lashings of hp brown but I can never seem to cook them right they always look like a load of jizz floating on top the water after you've just soaped your todger up a bit to much in the bath !

What's the secret to a perfect poached egg


There is a strong chance I will be taking Stages over as my own business, come for breakfast and I`ll make you some, keep you informed, May sometime, just waiting for the official nod :wink:

In the mean time, Bishop is close and so is the French bird, I bring the water to just so the water is bubbling, spot of vinegar to help set the white, you don`t taste it, swirl the water to make a whirlpool and crack the egg in the middle, the white shoud encase the yolk and approx 90 secs to 2 minutes depending on egg size, don`t let em boil, remove with a net scoop or slotted spoon, otherwise toast gets wet, use uncut bread and toast it, spread with lurpak and Bob is your Aunties brother :ugeek:

Do not add salt to the water, makes egg go hard :naughty:



Brilliant news on the café but you haver a slight problem there your special sausages wont be available anymore will they :shock:

Wait till I tell our lass she misses her monkeybutts parmo sadx


i will find another sausage supremo :wink:


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 Post subject: Re: monkeybutt/food advice
PostPosted: Thu Mar 24, 2016 8:03 pm 
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Congrats about Stages Mr Monkeybutt. If you ever need an Executive Chef, give me a shout. I only charge circa £100 per hour.

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"Takeaways are for life, not just treats or special occasions or Xmas! (The Bishop)


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 Post subject: Re: monkeybutt/food advice
PostPosted: Thu Mar 24, 2016 8:18 pm 
The Bishop wrote:
Congrats about Stages Mr Monkeybutt. If you ever need an Executive Chef, give me a shout. I only charge circa £100 per hour.


An executive chef who eats pot noodle, hmm sctatchinghead


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 Post subject: Re: monkeybutt/food advice
PostPosted: Thu Mar 24, 2016 8:32 pm 
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Joined: Thu Dec 20, 2007 9:08 pm
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If you ever want a food tester and ill do it for free


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