Does anyone else have a guilty pleasure of reading the Mumsnet forums?

The 'husband's having an affair' threads are soap opera quality.

Despite the entertainment, there's a worryingly high percentage of unhinged fruitcakes who are members.

Any stories of saddos making stories up about winning the lottery?

Not that I've seen.

Surprised you can spot them given your love of UKIP.

They're easy to spot seeing as I also read Comment is Free and the Grauniadistas set the bar for loons.

Ahh, UKIP...

How is that going, then?

Good to know you're out there policing the internet for nutters Jez. Strikes me as a slightly deranged thing to spend your time on but there again so is regularly posting on a message board for supporters of a football team you don't support. You'll end up as daft as poor old Sussex.

Policing the internet? I'm doing no such thing unless policing means observing.

Best. Thread. Ever.

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/a1875847-Do-you-dunk-your-penis

They were the 3rd most popular party in the UK in the recent General Election and the most popular in the 2014 European Election so I'd say they were making fantastic progress.

And we still managed to get a Tory majority in Government so everything's ticketty-boo.

HTH

The policing thing was a joke Jez. If you were really the police you wouldn't admit to having a sly wank while reading the affairs threads on Mumsnet would you?

Look, I don't like you either, Born Toulouse, but I don't feel the need to direct ad hominem attacks towards you. It's boring and the sign of inadequacy for starters.

Give it a rest, eh?

I'm crushed by your superior intellect. You spotted my inadequacy in no time, very well done. It makes me very sad to hear that you don't like me and I have to say that you are very wrong about those attacks. If I had unleashed my Ad Hominem and sent him in your direction you wouldn't be posting now. He is ferocious.

Brilliant - just brilliant.


I can see the hours flying by over the next few days as I read through the threads.

Comedy gold - the one with the woman finding her bloke is buying himself womens undies is ace.

UKIP's abject failure and implosion aside, some of those threads are side-splitters...

'You've just had sex so I assume you are on fairly intimate terms. Even if you have an acid fanjo and his sperm is nine tenths itching powder, surely you can use the bathroom at the same time? You can wash your fanjo in the bath and he can scrub his cock in the sink.'

I thought everyone understood that what you're voting for in a European Election and what you vote for in a General Election are two completely different things.

Your comment worryingly suggests not everyone does know the difference.

FFS....some one has a different Political opinion to you....get over yourselves!!!!

But, but, if we can't take the piss out of Farage, who's left? (Talking about politics, not TWH's youtube attempts.)

I've only got through the first three pages of that and I've pissed meself twice. I'm convinced some bunker members have been posting replies on it.

As for the woman who said that her husband 'scrubs' his cock in the sink, what on earth is wrong with a wipe on the curtains?

And 'acid fango' is a great term, makes me think of a musical genre like psychedelic banjo playing by people dressed as minges.

As tit's go toolio you're a DD cup..

Very funny that Mumsnet.

Oi Jezza, couple of quick questions. Given your UKIP fandom and Tory voting (thats right I think? Cant be arsed trawling through all your posts) where do you stand on the EU vote. Given that Bumface will get his "concessions" and campaign for a yes - you in or out?

And other than football clubs you don't support and fucking mumsnet - is there any site on the vast wonder that is t'internet that you don't troll on?

I expect to be voting 'no' as Cameron will not be demanding that the UK regains its ultimate sovereignty.

I don't want Europe being the ultimate legislature of the UK. It's beyond me why anyone would.

Fair enough, no real surprises there. Hankering for the good old days eh, where we told Jonny Foreigner what the score was.

I'm not sure how your mind works (if indeed 'works' is the appropriate word).

How does having ultimate sovereignty held by the UK equate to telling foreigners what to do?

My minds fine pal. You do that a lot dont you, challenge the intellect of those who question you, try to belittle as if your arguments hold a greater moral authority. You know fine that the assertion is that Little Englanders know better than their foreign counterparts, we dont need interference from Brussels etc etc. Other than the obvious economic and political benefits of a stable European arena, no European wars, biggest trading block and richest areas on the planet - the EU offers fuck all. Best of out of it, we'll do fine on our own - used to have an empire and all that.

Still never answered the other question - is there no website you won't t r o l l. Do you have other clubs you visit or are are we just lucky?

Anyway, sleep tight, say hi to Nigel for me.

I challenged your intellect because you made a giant leap from me wanting UK sovereignty to me wanting to tell foreigners what to do. Making such leaps is something you do a lot, don't you?

We don't need interference from Brussels. Why on earth do we and why should we since we've never voted to give Europe ultimate sovereignty.

These economic benefits - the economic benefits to the UK of a common currency, you mean? Or Greece?

Or do you mean the free trade arrangements that we signed up for in 1974(?) which I want us to retain and can be retained without losing UK sovereignty (just like it was originally supposed to be).

Why can't Europe be stable without the UK losing its sovereignty? No European wars? You really think we'd have had a war with Germany or Spain or another EU country in the last 40 years without the EU?

We didn't even defend Ukraine after agreeing to do just that when we signed the Budapest Memorandum.

Why you keep referring to Britain's past imperialism is beyond me. An empire is the last thing I want for Britain. You're going on like the UK is not one of the most developed countries in the world.

Is it because Japan has proven it can't be a top country because it's not a member of the EU that you think the UK couldn't flourish outside of the UK?

Which websites do I troll? Not this one, although I sometimes think I'm being trolled based on some of the stupid ill-thought out comments directed towards me.

Say 'Hi' to Mr Juncker from me.

This thread is brilliant. Half of us pissing ourselves laughing at horny mums (or not) and the other arguing about politics. The bunker at its best!

Anyone see Messi's first goal last night?

I Farage wipes his acid fango on my curtains I'm not buying a season ticket till we leave the Eurozone and Ronnie sacks Nels for not trying!!

Huffington post best 14 Mumsnet threads.

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/10 ... 75822.html


The thread on Centre Parcs is hilarious

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_cla ... l-sex?pg=1

Whats with all the abbreviations on there? DD, DH, MN etc. Does me tits in.

DD is big tits innit?

I am ashamed to know the dd means darlng daughter, ds darling son and dh husband. Not sure what MN means

A clue is in the title.

Erm... MumsNet?

MN clearly means Mike Newell.

HTH

MN stands for Mumsnet.

I think any lady will tell you it's . "that time of the month" ..mr tree..

I wish you would just fuck off.