Been dying with this vicious virus since Monday and been taking the usual medicines....but this must be a particularly nasty hard-core variant of the killer virus cos nothing is touching it!!!!

Any tips/suggestions to speed up my recovery....that's if I do recover like!!!!

Oh yeah....and I've got a massive ulcer on my tongue....bastard evil things....what is the FECKING point of them????

Have you tried Dr. John Smiths?

Mix butter, sugar and vinegar together into a paste and slowly eat while trying to use your tongue to push it to the back of your throat.

Me Mam use to use that but have it warming up in a pan then drank it....stunk the full house out!!!!

I don't even think I could manage 1 Can!!!!

I think she used honey instead of sugar though!!!!

I had it at xmas and those flu capsules did nowt whereas paracetemol did help.

Oh and Bonjela on toast might help with the mouth ulcer.

Dont think I could warm it mind but would happily just eat it as a treat as a paste to be honest.

Dirty Bastard!!!!

A cup of hot water mixed with a generous amount of raspberry jam and two aspirins 3/4 times a day, plenty of sleep/stay in bed and you majorly sweat the fucker out in two days

Pieces of lemon and garlic cloves (swallow not chew) help with the above process too

Try eggs chopped up in a cup, it's a Manchester thing!

Half a raw onion and a large whisky.

Masturbation

My old nan used to insist on honey sugar and vinegar then half an onion and a large whiskey topped off with vigorous wank.

She used to swear by it.

Best cure:

Paracetamol plus (one's with caffeine & aspirin).

Plenty of water

Sleep

Job done.

Your nan used to give you a wank?

Suffering a similar plague mutley - maybe we snogged the same bird in the past?




Starting to feel better today having toughed it out - hoping I can eat properly again tomorrow, mouth is really sore and I'm fecking starving.

Suck on a fishermans friend,that works for me.

Man up bitch