They have all been shit at the same time because of the opposition who are playing very, very well.

More utter shite this morning
Making Watson look like Bradman !

This is what happens when you let mediocrity fester, the joke of having Woakes and Kerrigan in the last test in England and allowing that talentless turd Bairstow in the squad sowed the seeds for all this !

Oh Fuck off man.

Bairstow hasnt played a ball here and the batters are utter shite.

Bairstow would have trebled copks averages.

Like i said previously......we Cant bowl l and we canr bat.

Send in the betting investigators.

I suppose the batters are to blame for anderson going for 28 in one over.

Huge cracks on the pitch and we Still Cant bowl.

I Just Hope we Dont suddenly start to fight in the last two ppintless tests.

Well Watson smashing 28 off an Anderson over is the worst thing iv ever witnessed an England side do in any sport. 28 in a test, not just any test an ashes test were we are 2 down. Disgraceful.

Cook out 1st ball sums up the rest

Please end this now, I can't take much more.

Biggest question is, are the Aussies that good or are we just that bad, my money is on the latter as I don't rate this Aussie team at all. I look forward to these playing South Africa.

They are mentally tough.

Which They Got roundly critisised on here for.

The sledging has destroyed our poor little lambs.

South africa are even tougher.

But never Mind it will all be forgotten next summer when the same pussies get picked again.

Sledging has fuck all to do with it.

The media made an issue out of it not the players.

We're beaten for simple reasons, we have struggled to bat, bowl, catch and stump.

Gutted at what iv witnessed this morning, to go for 28 in 1 over is nothing short of disgraceful. I was embarrassed watching it.

I think our bowlers tried to avoid the cracks on the pitch as that would have Been jolly unfair on the aussie batsmen.

I think this caring attitude shoild be applauded.

We accomplished the Great Escape last Summer playing the Aussies immediately afterwards was sheer lunacy.. Those predicting a 5-0 to England look rather silly now

The words presented may not be the ones inputted ..Thanks Tapatalk

This just gets dafter by the minute.

Well batted Kevin.

He should be dropped for that shot. You can make excuses for Cooks and Carberrys dismissals but not for doing shit like that.

Root as well....why play at a ball like that?

Bell and Stokes are smashing the ball around now, but to be honest its very much like a team needing about 150 to win in 10 overs of a one day game. A lost cause slog.

You just know they will get out eventually.

only 300 more runs needed to save the ashes for now.

Bell has to bat at 3 or 4 in Melbourne. It could potentially be the only change to the batting line up too

Bell and Root need to be given set roles in the side. Root is just being moved around at will.

We need to build the side around these two, and get rid of the others.

Stokes has done himself the power of good as well.

Cook, Peiterson, Anderson, Prior, need to be liquidated.

Thats probably a bit harsh on Cook.

Before PJ accuses me of being stupid.

being very very lucky here now.

Snicko does for Bell one way, and Root the other. How can this be right?

This has to be Priors last chance. He has to deliver.

Alternative?

me, you, any orphan that can be sent, my dog, your pussy, any fucker.

Pieterson
Bell
Stokes



Finally some aggression and were going down fighting.

Wasn't convinced by Stokes' batting prior to this but we appear to have our future number six.

It'll be interesting to see what team we go with at Melbourne, glad it's not me picking it.

Centuries this series -

Australia 7
England 0

Not one of our batsman have hit 3 figures yet.

Will be 7 v 2 this time tomorrow

hope you are off work with that amount of alcohol in your system.

Whoa, whoa, whoa Trigger.

You can`t criticise Pietersen. I did that back in the summer. He`s the top batsman in the world you know. You be getting told you know nowt and get poisonous invective heaped on you. Same if you say Prior needs to deliver.

well my oriental friend, Pieterson has played like a twat. He looks and plays like he couldnt give a toss.

Prior couldnt even justify being wicket keeper at the moment. never mind his batting.

If any of the other 10 players had Cooks 2103 average they wouldnt have made the squad.

The only pluses I can see at all are Bell, Broad and Root. Carberry has done OK but he is hardly one for the future.

Stokes is getting there too.

Swann has bowled like an old grandma, Anderson has been as fiery as non fiery thing. Bresnan is just a plodder that can bat a bit.

Trott.........well.........lets see.

You can't have even witnessed it as it was George Bailey who took 28 off the Anderson over!

Mind that's even worse.

I have some sympathy for the bowlers they had a thankless task especially in this innings a bowler down in 40 degree heat in a hopeless game situation after the batting failed again.

My Drama Queen alarm is going berserk here and it's not just for Dibble

'Poisonous invective' or just people who don't quite agree? His dismissal today was an absolute disgrace. Like someone who doesn't give a fuck about the game situation just himself. I'd sit down and have a serious talk to him about getting out like that and ask him if he still wants to play for England and if he doesn't start valuing his wicket suggest that we'll look elsewhere. He had just hit him for a six and they moved the man back knowing full well his ego would make him try to clear the fielder.

As for the stick Prior is getting didn't he score 70 in his innings before last? He's too good a player to just discard after a bad run, everyone has them over a career.

I am finding it difficult to understand how in two posts you have somehow managed to find something to defend the players about.

You have sympathy for the bowlers? How?

They bowled utter utter shite. And have done for more or less three tests. Unless Johnson, Lyon, Harris and siddle are now just so much better than our bowlers? So our lads did their best?

And then you defend Prior? I was talking about his wicket keeping which has been appalling. The difference between him and Haddin is about the same sized Chasm that exists between pools and darlo.

Next you will be telling me the conditions suited Lyon more than Swann.

Like I said earlier, people use stats way too much in cricket. If a footballer, any player, had 8 bad games, like Cook has had, in a row, they would be dropped.

But the cricketing fraternity bring up stats from 2-3 years ago. That doesnt show form, it shows history.

This team is broken, and you cant manufacture spare parts. You can only replace them, and if Rankin, Finn, Bairstow and Ballance arent in for the next game then why the fook were they taken.

If you don't understand how these three Tests have been so difficult for our bowlers due to us being bowled out cheaply and quickly and how with so many runs on the board the Aussies are running harder with more attacking fields are looking so much better then you don't understand the game. We're coming out to bowl miles behind in the game against attacking players with absolute licence to express themselves. Today they were on an absolute hiding to nothing and were also a bowler down.

It's not an excuse we are being slaughtered but we've actually bowled pretty well on day one of the three Tests the wheels have come off in the second innings after our batsmen have massively failed.

Cook scored a pretty good 70 in the first innings of this Test, and today he got a ball that would have got any left hander who's ever played the game out it was an absolute beauty. If he was on 200 it would have cleaned him up, the fact he got it first ball of the innings encapsulates up how this disaster is going.

He has still scored more Test hundreds than any other Englishman like, so I don't think he's getting dropped any time soon. Plenty of footballers have spells of 7 or 8 games when they don't play at the peak of their powers but c ricket is different in that you get the hard facts and statistics of how they've performed in those 8 games.

I'd seriously consider leaving out KP after the way he got out today though. Shocking.

It's also interesting that you think Carberry has done ok but Cook should be dropped, Carberry has scored about 20 runs more than Cook in the series and is averaging 5 more at 31. Carberry and Root have been part of batting line up that hasn't been anywhere near good enough collectively. Nobody has a scored a 100 and nobody is averaging over 40, terrible.

This series was too soon .. No time to develop ..we ran our luck in the summer it was crazy to expect it to happen a second time


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we have been both very poor and very unlucky
Just one of those series when everything the Aussies are doing is coming off.
they have won every toss for example

we have been woeful and questions need answering (the over-tolerance of shite over the last 12 months mainly) but we havehad zero luck.

cook will bounce back, though I fear we are seeing the last of Pietersen and Anderson

He's a player is Stokes. Great shout from the selectors. Clocked a Hartlepool shirt in the crowd a few times as well!

What utter nonsense

I don't what is worse citing 'bad luck' or saying that about Anderson......

That may well be Rhys Boddy, just gone over for a year and he was at the match.

He's been on nearly every over sat above a Seaton Carew CC banner.

PJ, you keep using stats to defend the players. Stats hide so many things.

But, and I know I will regret this some time in the future, I have just looked at the test stats for this series.

They make staggering reading for Jimmy Anderson and Swann specifically.

They havent just been poor, they have been bad beyond belief.

So, like I said, in any other sport, they would be dropped. Not sure how you could compare to football, and I am not sure how bad a player would have to perform to be as bad as Anderson and swanns stats are.

http://stats.espncricinfo.com/the-ashes ... ype=series

and without Cooks one decent knock of 72, his average would be 16.4.

But what I think you suggest is, most of these players will be fine and will come back next summer against the Indians?

But so what? India arent the auusies, and it isnt the Ashes.

I dont think most people will care about next summer after this. Only the cricketing fraternity will.

Luckily more than half the tickets will go to Indian fans, so they will still sell out.

Only in cricket, can players play utter shite, consistantly, yet keep their places, because they were superb 2 years ago. And Dominic Cork ahs followed your lead this morning saying they all deserve to be playing, as there is no one else.

Fuck me, is county cricket THAT bad?

Knowing the way England are at the moment they'll probably go and drop Stokes for the next test.

Probably right that. He is low down the pecking order.

My team for next test.

Cook
Carberry
Bell
Ballance
Root
Bairstow
Stokes
Bresnan
Broad
Finn
Panesar

I'd go;

Cook
Carberry
Root
Pieterson
Bell
Stokes
Bairstow
Broad / Bresnan (depends on Broad's fitness)
Finn
Rankin
Panesar

But hey, what do I know?

with that team a fookin lot more than our selectors.

It's hilarious that you are taking about picking players on form then include the likes of Finn and Rankin who don't even deserve to be there and have both bowled very poorly against inferior opposition in the warm up matches. Heads should roll regarding the squad in the first place. Had anyone even watched Tremlett bowl recently or did they just think he'd turn on a switch and it would be three years ago again? He did nothing for Surrey last season and has lost all of his pace.

The next Test is at Melbourne which does swing at times at the wicket offers a bit for the seamers. Let's drop the best swing bowler in the World after three quiet matches though eh?

Cook has scored a 60 odd as well so that's two decent knocks, he's got two bigger scores than Carberry's highest of the series, I don't see why people think he's done so well, averaging 30 in a Test series as an opening batsman is not good enough. Carberry has been not good enough despite looking ok along with Root, KP, Cook and even Bell who got himself out at times. The batting has completely failed as a unit and cost us the Ashes.

The spine of the team still are proven quality they need a change of leadership in terms of the coach who has done well but his times up now, I think he'll resign anyway. The selection process needs to be looked at and if he had any say on the bowlers they took so should the bowling coach.

Its not about picking players. Its about whats available to pick from.

A good number of the players selected in the first three tests just dont deserve easy caps.

Again, you are reeling off excuses for the shite they have served up.

To say Anderson has been quiet is a gross understatement. He has been bloody awful.

Hang on so Jimmy Anderson who has taken over 300 Test wickets would be earning an 'easy cap' after having three poor games yet you are suggesting people picking merely because they are there!!? Surely picking Rankin would be giving him an unwarranted easy cap?

Great logic.

I dont care. We may as well lose 5-0.