Only 6 hours to go

I think the fact is was number 2 in his list of achievements made it funnier.

It was at the bottom but i swapped it for the MBE. Expected more to be honest

Jacamo

7am and on my third beer, think I'll have a walk down to the ground.

I don't have any concerns about our team, especially the bowling. Very, very kind of the Aussie press to wind KP and Broad up!

Look we all know what time it is Queensland especially at this time of night.

It says 7:35 just to the bottom left of Ant & Dec on my telly now there's no need to show off you lucky bastards. It's not as if it's pissing down blowing a gale and freezing here or anything either. Twats.

Enjoy

I can assure you it wasn't meant to be thinly disguised!!

My record over here reads P2 L2 so hopefully it's third time lucky today!

Will try mate! The forecast isn't great for the weekend but the locals seem to think the thunderstorms hit the place for an hour and clear off so hopefully it won't be too badly affected (or will affect it badly depending on how the next 48 hours go)

Rumours so far about teams so far, Aussie to leave out Lyon and play an all seam attack, Prior arrived at the ground with all of his kit and in good spirits.

8/11 for Anderson to take 2 or more wickets in 1st innings. Nailed on isn't it ?

Lyon is playing apparently a late change of mind from the Aussies. Strange one that it gives you the distinct impression that they don't know what they're doing!

It's not nailed on, England have four bowlers and a couple of part timers and only 10 wickets are available you'd have thought he would though. New ball is crucial.

What a start!!!!

Come on England

2 hours sleep and back up and very glad I made that decision now. Worry about sleep later

Any swing has now disappeared. It's going to be a long night. Hope I'm wrong, but I can't see us taking too many wickets tonight. The only plus is that their batting order looks fragile. Get rid of Warner, Watson and The Arrogant One, and it's game on! But that's a big wish list on that wicket.

New ball helped there like after just 21 overs. Well happy with 2 down before lunch.

This partnership is huge for both sides. We need to break this up quickly

Another huge session for us. Well in control now, just need to see haddin and this tail off. Al be over the moon with 250

300 is take like. After seeing Johnson and haddin bat it was fairly conclusive it is a batting pitch. Annoying partnership from our view but got to be happy overall. Broad getting Clarke in the same way again was just sublime and my ball of the day.

New ball proved key at the end and we must finish the job off. None of this last wicket 100 shite like over here.

Aslong as we see out the 1st 15 overs of our innings without loss I see no reason why we can't win this game. I agree you have to see both teams bat but the majority of there wickets were just badly timed shots. Warner is a lunatic and if I was Aussie I wouldn't be happy at all with him. 1st session of day 1 and he's playing as if its a 1 Dayer, going after bouncers. Its just wrong in a test match. He's like a child with no maturity whatsoever. So gifted but just a time bomb.

Went back to kip between 2-4 but apes it and fast forwarded me way through it so only missed the last hour whlist travelling to work. Standard timing as I missed he new ball and 2 wickets.

Roll on tonight

Warner is an attacking player if he curbs that he probably wouldn't score many runs. You play your natural game and playing shots is his. His wicket today was good captaincy from Cook playing on him being on 49. The Aussies have generally had an aggressive opener in the last 20 years from Michael Slater and Matthew Hayden who'd have thought nothing of playing some of the shots Warner did on the first morning of Test, I think Warner's problem like a lot of his team mates he's not in the same class as his predecessors.

Great day for England, hilarious it was Broad who did the damage as well O hope they keep abusing him

A great day's play from England. Disappointing to let Haddin and Johnson put on over 100 for the 7th wicket but their batting shows that this wicket really is a good one to bat on.

As already mentioned it will be interesting to see how England get on given their batting was, on average, quite poor during the series in England.

I had a feeling Johnson would bat well, the whining twat. If we skittle them fairly early for around 300, we CAN win this first test.

Absolutely cracking score today, a lot of the emphasis will be on the 7th wicket partnership but it really should be about the destruction Broad did to their middle order. The pitch did next to nothing all day, if we can see out the new ball with the loss of just the odd wicket then our middle to lower order should put on a huge score.

The usual from Jimmy, Broad revelled in the abuse he got (Loads of anti Broad tshirts, banners and songs) , Tremlett and Swann didn't threaten too much but conditions were against them.

Weather not looking ideal though.

Aussies get a BROADside.

Keep them below 300, put on 600 and then let the bowlers rip.
The first 20 0vers of our innings yielding 60 or 70 for 0 will be most gratifying.

This is all achievable with patience.

How positive is that eh?????

Where is our ashes correspondent tripledecker?

Great day and some of the deliveries broad bowled on a fat pich was brilliant and the bouncer to get Clarke out was cracking.

Roll on tonight.

It's actually a similar first day to Brisbane three years ago only England had stuttered to a similar score after Peter Siddle's hat trick. Let's hope if England get the sort of lead Australia did in that match the pitch shows some hint of deterioration as that one got flatter and flatter by the end resembling a road making wicket taking look almost impossible.

Warner is a nutjob of an opener. He should be at 5 or 6. He clearly dosnt understand the role he has at all. When he went after the bouncer within the 1st hour of a test I smiled as I knew he wouldn't harm us. That shot could have went anywhere. It was something you would see in a 20-20. Crazy

Getting Clarke early could win us this match if we repeat the feat in the 2nd innings

Talk of winning this test is very premature and will take a lot more than getting out Michael Clarke.

If his bowling goes to shit again or he gets injured I can't see a call from Jacamo coming any time soon but with that ridiculous tash (albeit for a good cause) I can see a lengthy (so to speak) career in Gay Porn.

Agreed, hence the word 'could'

I just class him as a huge threat.

Get in Harris out early broad six wickets

All out great work by carbury in field for run out

oh dear Mr Cook..

and trott

ok fuck.... 94/8 !!

I'd be surprised if we see a worse session than that all winter. Simply awful. 39-6, disgusting.

Deja Vu with Lyon, again takin wickets with no spin. Why we can't handle a 50mph slow ball is just schoolboy stuff.

Pitch is ideal, no excuses. We have batted Just shite and have a massive challenge now to save this match

Time after time in recent years we've under performed with the bat in the first match of a tour. This one takes the biscuit.

Either we blow the Aussies out fast or it's 1-0 down. A couple of hours of Warner and the game is gone.

He looks set fair too. I've already given this one up as gone. Any sort of total to chase and we are fooked.

Tremlett has lost a yard of pace since last time in Australia if speed guns are to be believed he was consistently up 85-88 mph last now he' struggling to hit 80. This is a quick enough pitch with good carry and I don't see any zip to his bowling. It should be a perfect surface for his type of bowler. He's been picked because he's accurate and won't go around the park like the other two. The decision not to bring Onions is looking all the more strange hopefully Bresnan is fit and firing soon.

got to be the most pathetic days performance I have ever witnessed.

The afternoon session was described as a lesson in hostile bowling, yet now the aussies make it look like a flat track paradise.

So is it a case that their bowlers are just so much faster and more hostile than ours, or are our batsmen suddenly a bunch of fookin pussies?

It has to be one or the other.

Apparantly with us losing 5 wickets for 9 runs, it represents the second worst mid order collapse in the history of english cricket.

Well done lads, I dont think the excitement of a sports tournament has ever been deflated so quickly.

Oh and I expect England to bat like their lives depend on it in the second innings.

Otherwise its going to be a huge embarrassment.

To be fair to England's bowlers they bowled for three and a half sessions yesterday and this morning and blazing heat and humidity you can't really blame them for looking flat in that final session. Mitchell Johnson is quicker than any of the other bowlers available in the series and when he gets it right is a top performer.

Tremletts pace has been military in both innings is he not fit? When you are 6 foot 8 and that frame you should not be floating balls out at 78 mph, you certainly are not going to take wickets in Test cricket doing that. He has shown no form in county cricket (averaged 37 last year) and simply isn't the same bowler. He shouldn't be there.

so I wonder what the thought process for picking him was?

Is there any thought process any more?

The same people who thought Boyd Rankin deserved a Test call up....

I'm not going to get concerned about the batting until we have another go, we've done this numerous times before and came back.

thats true, but like Boycott has just said, if we keep failing in the first innings it will eventually catch up with us, and a hammering will ensue.

just looked at the recent batting averages:

If Cook and Trott had been called Bairstow and Root, their places would be seriously in doubt now.

Where is Tripledecker? Has he exploded with joy following that collapse?

Fell asleep when Prior was out. That was as much as I could stand.

We rescued it in Brisbane last time with a huge 2nd innings but I can't see that happening again.

I'm trying to remember a worst test performance than Trott's. He was embarrassing. Like a rabbit caught in headlights.
Everybody knows what to expect from the opposition when he takes to the crease and yet he has no idea how to handle it, just as the batsmen in general haven't grasped the idea that you need to perform from day one, ball one.
The bowlers must be gutted watching that performance by their so called batsmen. Broad even outshone them with the bat !!!!!!!.
I loved seeing the Poolie flag though.
God help us if either Broad or Anderson get an injury. Those two need wrapping in cotton wool, especially if the outfield at the Gabba is the norm.
You never know it might rain !!!!!!

I thought that as well when Anderson dived to stop the ball and his knee just stuck in the ground, very reminiscent of Jones over there. Its dangerous and needs to be looked at. Saying that Carberry was diving and sliding all over the place.

Embarrassing regarding Trott is a bit over the top you sound like Dibble!

He's been playing International c ricket for 4 years and this is his first dip in form, in it's self impressive. The Aussies are the first team to find a weakness in his game and have a bowler at the top of his game to expose it. Credit to them and Johnson. It's also not very often we play on pitches with this much pace and bounce (Perth will probably be quicker) either.

Trott needs to clear his mind and work out a method to play it. I'm sure he will he's a very good player.

I'd like you to stand 22 yards away from someone bowling 90mph into your rib cage from the awkward angle of left arm over and tell me after that his performance was embarrassing after.

when have I ever gone over the top, eh?

Derwent is right though, Trott was embarrassing. He played like he was scared.

And we have allowed ourselves to be taken in by the Johnson hype. Its been going on for weeks.

We bowled shit to him, allowed his confidence to grow, and then made him look like Michael Holding.

He is more fragile than a cheap wine glass but we have let him look like the worlds best player.

All last summer our players looked too cosy in their places, and that first innings seems to be a carry on.

They have the second innings to put it right. They need to.

By the way, I thought the Aussie batsmen were the ones with flaws to their game?