Right. Unbelievably I have just done some.

Fucking hell, how bastad boring is that?

Anyway, I have a question:

I nearly bought a lasagne that you just heat up in the oven, but changed my mind and made my own.

After nearly losing the will to live whilst doing this chore, I need to know this:

When people cook steak (Info got from Come dine with me) they nearly always do it so the meat is still red, and people eat like they are Hannibal Lecter.

Yet I bought some minced beef and the instructions said it had to browned with no red bits left.

Why does minced beef have to brown but steak can be served almost raw?

By the way:

If you have me to dinner, I want my steak barbecued ta.

Because when cooking steak all the bacteria that can harm you eg ecoli is on the outside. Cooking this rare will kill the bacteria on outside, this is different with mince as its been mushed up.

If we have you for dinner, there'd better be 25 of us, or else the left overs will last months.

What Mr Compo said. There's much more surface area in mince than there is in a steak of the same weight and browning it tells you that you've got it to a temperature that has killed the nasty's.

How is it that pretentious gits like Michael Winner (ok, I know he's dead) eat steak tartare which is just basically raw mince ? Hang on, maybe that's what killed him.

because the meat to make this is from one piece is seared first then this is cut away then cut up with clean untencils in a safe way and then served. Its not all mashed up together and minced raw so to speak.

Same goes for carpaccio, although this is not minced.

Sad to say, but a good vet could have my steak up and running, as I always like it 'bleu.'

I bet Dibble is really a dab hand in the kitchen. I can just picture him in a pinny turning out quiches and fairy cakes and souffles and stuff.

Make sure you cook the mince for at least an hour or it stays chewy, it comes from fore quarter and will be a tougher cut of meat.

Fuck off.

I dont even know what that highlighted one is.

I dont even like being in the house when cooking is taking place, never mind being the one doing the cooking.

I hate the smell of food cooking. Weird I know, but I do.

So what do you do when the missus isnt in open a tin or go to the takeaway? Or does she leave you a plated up dinner you bang in the microwave? I bet at home your akin to Brian Lane of New tricks.

I dont eat meals at night. Havent done for years.

I usually eat cold food and cereals during the day. Dried cereals though as I dont like milk.

And the odd takeaway on friday and saturday night.

I never ever eat sunday dinner.

I accept my eating habits are strange.

Dibble's Christmas wish list:

Jamie Oliver's latest book
Piping bag
Trifle dish
A gadget to de-seed chillies
Salad tongs

you seem to know way too much about these things for gadgy.

Not enough. I love cooking, although I can't stand Jamie Oliver.

You sound like a hamster.

Honestly start cooking you will eat better and like it.

However the phrase why have a dog and bark yourself comes to mind. I prefare cooking to my missus as I think I am better and she is a bit fussy.

I havent got time to start cooking and enjoy it.

You havent got kids have you?

I enjoy my weekends too much with all the footy to ever want to stop that and spend time cooking.

Cant think of anything more depressing.

What has having kids got to do with being able to cook? I learnt when leaving home so I didn't eat crap. Surely having kids you would want to be able to cook for them?

I love it when people say they don't have time to cook I recon I could cook something from scratch just as quick as any thing you buy frozen and bang in the oven.

like I said, you havent got kids have you?

More to the point, you havent got kids that are constantly on the go, doing sport almost 7 days a week, amongst other things.

You know all these ingredients you seem to have to hand? Where do you get them? Do they just magically appear? And how do you know which ones to buy?

I would have to go to the ASDA, look at the thing I want to cook, and see which ingredients to buy, and then find them, if I knew what they were.

All that time, whilst I should have been at the younguns match, or training.

Its called doing the shopping. Things like herbs, spices etc you already have in your kitchen if you cook a lot everything else like chicken, rice, fish, pots you just buy every week anyway.

I know people are busy but using this as an excuse for not eating or cooking healthy is a cop out. Tonight I get in from work at about 5. I will cook wash up iron my uniform for the pub and be out the door by 5;45. If anyone is interested I am having salmon with lemon juice,ginger, chillies, sesame seeds and spinich with new potatoes and green beans.

So what are you eating? Full fat cornflakes and lard from the fridge?? What happened to that sandwich cart you used to hijack in the car park when you worked in Darlo?? Did it go out of business??

That sandwich cart was Morrisons.

PS:

I hate salmon. And I only eat fish on fridays, its traditional.

And what are pots?

Potatoes

ah of course it is. I knew that

Your meal sounds very healthy......................but very poncey.

I hear Morrisons is pretty good these days but I don't go so I can't comment.

Monoprix was fucking fantastic in France though. Our rass was like a pig with a tatie, and I was two taties in front of her. Mr Monty's local put a few kilos on us an' all!!

Nowt approaching your girth though.

Thanks for the information on the minced beef. I feel educated.

Got to say like, I cooked it, and it looked rank.

and was about half as much as when I started. WHat the hell is in it?

Wont be rushing to do it again.

Stick to cheese and onion sarnies from now on.

It's all the fatty stuff from the front of the animal. I would have thought you'd have recognised it, to be honest.

Of course cheese is totally fat free.

Tomorrow I'm having blue cheese, onion and mustard mayonnaise sarnies for lunch and if anyone gets in my way.........

As you know, I dont care how much fat is in food.

I just dont want to have to cook it.

So cheese sarnies are good.

Funny how a pack of mince can make so many tasty meals, just had mince and dumps, bloody lovely

I am making some pulled pork in the slow cooker today.

I never buy Meat from the Supermarket. Blue Cow Butchers on Sydenham Road for me. Their Mince is Minced Steak, their Casserole Beef is divine not a scrap of fat on it, their Chicken Breasts are twice the size and twice the taste of Morrisons stuff. I cook every day, my Mrs hasn't been near our oven for years. Wouldn't have it any other way (..mind she does everything else , like!)

Thanks for the tip elvis will go there next time I am home as I never buy meat down here as too expensive in the buthers.