milton jones house of rooms

mr elkots · **Posted:** Fri Jan 13, 2012 11:49 pm

Anyone watching? Very funny :coool:

BillinghamPoolie · **Posted:** Sat Jan 14, 2012 12:34 am

Recorded it, probably watch it tomorrow. Only seen him on Mock The Week before, like him on that, surreal and childish.

unohoo · **Joined:** Fri Aug 29, 2008 8:51 pm **Posts:** 656

Was at a corporate do in London about three years ago. Milton Jones was the guest speaker/ comedian. He walks onto th stage and asks the audience " anyone here from the North East?" I put my hand up. " your homes fuckin stink!" he says.
Cockney audience were in hysterics.

Wanker of the highest order.

PJ_Poolie · **Posted:** Sat Jan 14, 2012 1:40 am

unohoo wrote:

Was at a corporate do in London about three years ago. Milton Jones was the guest speaker/ comedian. He walks onto th stage and asks the audience " anyone here from the North East?" I put my hand up. " your homes fuckin stink!" he says.
Cockney audience were in hysterics.

Wanker of the highest order.

No that's actually quite funny. Most stand up comedians will hammer the first person to shout out put their hand up in the audience. Or start with a joke that is nailed on laugh in a certain part of the country.

He's probably not a wanker.

tREE_wiTH_hAMStER · **Joined:** Sat May 19, 2007 11:00 am **Posts:** 20758

unohoo wrote:

Was at a corporate do in London about three years ago. Milton Jones was the guest speaker/ comedian. He walks onto th stage and asks the audience " anyone here from the North East?" I put my hand up. " your homes fuckin stink!" he says.
Cockney audience were in hysterics.

Wanker of the highest order.

If you watch his dvd then the "your house fucking stinks" is a running joke throughout the full dvd.

misterb2001 · **Posted:** Sat Jan 14, 2012 10:26 am

I think he's brilliant in short bursts

TalbotAvenger · **Posted:** Sat Jan 14, 2012 10:48 am

misterb2001 wrote:

I think he's brilliant in short bursts

Like Adam Boyd, ooh me ribs and such, I should do stand up, me

Chrissy Stevo · **Posted:** Sat Jan 14, 2012 11:35 am

Don't find him funny at all. Not my type of comedy.

Gibsons Beard · **Posted:** Sat Jan 14, 2012 12:02 pm

unohoo wrote:

Was at a corporate do in London about three years ago. Milton Jones was the guest speaker/ comedian. He walks onto th stage and asks the audience " anyone here from the North East?" I put my hand up. " your homes fuckin stink!" he says.
Cockney audience were in hysterics.

Wanker of the highest order.

Are you having a laugh, IS HE HAVING A LAUGH????

Fensy · **Joined:** Thu Aug 17, 2006 9:15 pm **Posts:** 6477

I recorded it as well, I think he is a funny bloke. If you like him you will probably like Stewart Francis as well, he has the same one liner joke style

WaldoPepper · **Joined:** Thu Jul 02, 2009 8:42 pm **Posts:** 589

unohoo wrote:

Was at a corporate do in London about three years ago. Milton Jones was the guest speaker/ comedian. He walks onto th stage and asks the audience " anyone here from the North East?" I put my hand up. " your homes fuckin stink!" he says.
Cockney audience were in hysterics.

Wanker of the highest order.

That doesn't sound much like Milton Jones. He's known for rarely swearing in his act (and he's a devout Christian), so for him to use unnecessary profanity is very, very unusual.

tREE_wiTH_hAMStER · **Joined:** Sat May 19, 2007 11:00 am **Posts:** 20758

WaldoPepper wrote:

unohoo wrote:

Was at a corporate do in London about three years ago. Milton Jones was the guest speaker/ comedian. He walks onto th stage and asks the audience " anyone here from the North East?" I put my hand up. " your homes fuckin stink!" he says.
Cockney audience were in hysterics.

Wanker of the highest order.

That doesn't sound much like Milton Jones. He's known for rarely swearing in his act (and he's a devout Christian), so for him to use unnecessary profanity is very, very unusual.

As i said, the "your house fucking stinks" line is used about 10 times in his dvd.

WaldoPepper · **Joined:** Thu Jul 02, 2009 8:42 pm **Posts:** 589

Tree_With_Hamster wrote:

WaldoPepper wrote:

unohoo wrote:

Was at a corporate do in London about three years ago. Milton Jones was the guest speaker/ comedian. He walks onto th stage and asks the audience " anyone here from the North East?" I put my hand up. " your homes fuckin stink!" he says.
Cockney audience were in hysterics.

Wanker of the highest order.

That doesn't sound much like Milton Jones. He's known for rarely swearing in his act (and he's a devout Christian), so for him to use unnecessary profanity is very, very unusual.

As i said, the "your house fucking stinks" line is used about 10 times in his dvd.

Ah, right. Sorry, I didn't see your post.

MutleyRules · **Posted:** Sat Jan 14, 2012 2:51 pm

I like him but this bloke is better and was obviously a big influence on Milton....

Joe Mac · **Posted:** Sat Jan 14, 2012 2:52 pm

He was on football AM the other week and im sure they were saying his DVD was a 12 or PG or summit..... Not my type of comedian tbh

Yubep · **Joined:** Wed Jan 31, 2007 6:35 pm **Posts:** 25266

like a bit of foul language do you joe?

MutleyRules · **Posted:** Sat Jan 14, 2012 3:06 pm

....

The other day I was walking through the forest alone, a tree fell right in front of me and I didn't hear it.

I have several hobbies which I enjoy to the fullest. I have a large seashell collection which I keep scattered all over the beaches of the world....maybe you've seen it?

You know when you put a stick in the water and it looks like its bent but really isnt? That's why I don't take baths.

When I was little in our backyard we had a quicksand box... I was an only child....eventually.

If you were in a vehicle traveling at the speed of light and you turned your headlights on would they work?

I bought this thing for my car....It sends out a noise so deer won't run in front of your car. I installed it backwards by accident, driving down the street with a herd of deer chasing me....those were the days.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

I bought some powdered water but I don't know what to add.

I bought a cordless extention cord.

I bought some land....It was kinda cheap....it was on somebody elses property.

I've been getting into astronomy so I installed a sky light....the people who live above me are furious.

I decided I was gonna leave the house. My girlfriend said, "how long you gonna be gone?" I said, "the whole time."

It doesn't matter what temperature a room is it's always room temperature.

I owed my friend $25....for about 2 weeks I had the money on me the whole time and never gave it to him. We were walking through an alley at 2 in the morning when an man stepped out of the shadows with a gun and said "you two, gimmie all your money". I said "wait a minute Joe here's the $25 I owe you." The thief took $1000 of his own money and at gunpoint made me borrow $1000 from joe.

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn't live there.

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?

Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?

Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?
Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?

Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?

If the universe is everything, and scientists say thatthe universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?

If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?

What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?

Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss? It sounds like a near hit to me!!

Do fish get cramps after eating?

Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?

Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?

Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door?

Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.

:laugh:

PoolieBarnes · **Posted:** Sat Jan 14, 2012 5:41 pm

Steven Wright is superb Mutley, very rarely see anything or hear of him these days.

Joe Mac · **Posted:** Sat Jan 14, 2012 6:13 pm

Yubep wrote:

like a bit of foul language do you joe?

Fuck no

mr elkots · **Posted:** Sat Jan 14, 2012 7:17 pm

Never heard of the guy before but it was great loved it :wink:

Hopefully they'll bring a series out :coool:

MutleyRules · **Posted:** Sun Jan 15, 2012 4:04 am

Chip Fireball wrote:

Was it actually meant to be funny ???

Was what????

I tell you what's not funny....the so called Funny Bone!!!! rage

I tried licking my elbow earlier on and couldn't reach and it thought it was funny....so I hit the fecker with a Claw Hammer....soon stopped laughing....so did I....I'm dislocated now but at least I'm ambidextris!!!! :coool:

Poolie JonV · **Posted:** Mon Jan 16, 2012 11:34 am

Milton Jones is hilarious and if memory serves me right, a bit of a snazzie dresser.... I think he's from the Carew

Yubep · **Joined:** Wed Jan 31, 2007 6:35 pm **Posts:** 25266

He's ok in small doses on MTW.

Mr Ripper · **Posted:** Mon Jan 16, 2012 12:43 pm

Chrissy Stevo wrote:

Don't find him funny at all. Not my type of comedy.

He's meant to be funny?! :shock:

Gerraway.

loyal blue · **Joined:** Thu Feb 28, 2008 1:53 pm **Posts:** 1912

any comedian that needs to pick on the audience to get a laugh is a poor comedian.

anyone can stand on stage and rip the pi$$ out of people in the audience.

unohoo · **Joined:** Fri Aug 29, 2008 8:51 pm **Posts:** 656

That was my original point. If I had heckled him I would have been fair game.

Which I was when I shouted back,"like your fookin' act mate"

In finest Hartlepool vernacular. Got a good laugh an'all.

milton jones house of rooms

Gadgies online