Women!!!

Mr Irrelevant · **Joined:** Thu Aug 17, 2006 8:25 pm **Posts:** 22570

Our lass said to me this morning "If you hadn't have met me would you be seeing someone else?" Probably says I. I thought that this was a perfectly logical answer but oh no. I am now in the doghouse for theoretically being unfaithful to her.

:evil:

Mr Irrelevant · **Joined:** Thu Aug 17, 2006 8:25 pm **Posts:** 22570

I did, she said no.

Moriarty · **Posted:** Fri Feb 23, 2007 12:27 pm

Mr I wrote:

Our lass said to me this morning "If you hadn't have met me would you be seeing someone else?" Probably says I. I thought that this was a perfectly logical answer but oh no. I am now in the doghouse for theoretically being unfaithful to her.

:evil:

Male or Female? rolfl

Walsallmom · **Posted:** Fri Feb 23, 2007 1:59 pm

you would be lost without her confised

Spender · **Posted:** Fri Feb 23, 2007 2:02 pm

Walsallmom wrote:

you would be lost without her confised

Satnav's much much cheaper and a lot less chewy!! :wink:

poolpower · **Posted:** Fri Feb 23, 2007 2:03 pm

how easy it is to upset some women when you sit next to them at a footy game

has she hid your foundation creme yet rolfl

Walsallmom · **Posted:** Fri Feb 23, 2007 2:14 pm

Pooliekev wrote:

Walsallmom wrote:

you would be lost without her confised

Satnav's much much cheaper and a lot less chewy!! :wink:

That's the reason I got a sat nav so I don't have to take my other half anywhere with me :grin:

Karl Marx · **Posted:** Fri Feb 23, 2007 3:10 pm

Pooliekev wrote:

Walsallmom wrote:

you would be lost without her confised

Satnav's much much cheaper and a lot less chewy!! :wink:

The one time in Spain I couldn't use the Satnav, we had a row! Probably the best device ever for domestic harmony. Saying that, the misus did question the directions back to the airport? WTF, she'd not even been there before and she's questioning the directions!

TheGingerPoolie · **Posted:** Fri Feb 23, 2007 4:32 pm

HAHAH!

Unlucky, Mr. I. I can't exactly see where her argument is though. It's not as if you're saying "yeah, and she'd be better than you".

Mr Irrelevant · **Joined:** Thu Aug 17, 2006 8:25 pm **Posts:** 22570

I figured it out (with the help of a calender) I reckon that nasty Mrs Hormones is staying for a few days.

Dodger · **Posted:** Fri Feb 23, 2007 5:27 pm

That cos she's a lovely poppadom and she wouldn't put it about...like some.

Anyway, not a good answer to give to woman, beware it could be the special time of the month!!

Moriarty · **Posted:** Fri Feb 23, 2007 6:06 pm

Mr I wrote:

I figured it out (with the help of a calender) I reckon that nasty Mrs Hormones is staying for a few days.

Ah, the enemy within. You have my condolences

NEW ADMIN · **Joined:** Mon Sep 04, 2006 5:48 pm **Posts:** 185

Ive always wanted, to do this to er-indoors rage

, whenever the devil is visiting.

Walsallmom · **Posted:** Fri Feb 23, 2007 6:44 pm

you men just don't understand :roll:

Moriarty · **Posted:** Fri Feb 23, 2007 6:47 pm

Walsallmom wrote:

you men just don't understand :roll:

I understand alright. I understand the frying pan shaped dent in my bonce was necessary :roll:

TheGingerPoolie · **Posted:** Fri Feb 23, 2007 6:57 pm

Hopefully it was a dirty frying pan - it'd take the shine right out of your head.

Baldy :laugh:

Snowy · **Joined:** Fri Aug 18, 2006 12:18 pm **Posts:** 36413

Conversation on Tuesday night....

Her... found an old photo of your kid.

me... that's not our kid, that's me when I was seven.

Her.... NO.. it's your kid.

me.....It's ME...I know what I look like y'know

Her...... it's your kid.

One of the sons.... give it to me....it's me dad.

Her..... How do you know, ...you weren't even born then.

another one of the sons......it's got his name and age written on the back mam :roll:

stupid

Her....... :evil:

.......maybe your nana got mixed up :evil:

everybody ...... banghead

room empties.

Moriarty · **Posted:** Fri Feb 23, 2007 9:33 pm

Mine is more like this......

Driving home from work my phone rings

Me - Hello

Her Hello

Deafly silence

Me - Are you still there?

Her - You rang me at a bad time

Me - But you rang ME

Her - welcome to the board

Phone goes dead banghead

Snowy · **Joined:** Fri Aug 18, 2006 12:18 pm **Posts:** 36413

She's been telling me for years that...." you wouldn't like one of those daft wives who cook and are nice to you .... it would do your head in having a silly little bint who agreed with you all the time" ........ :roll:

Moriarty · **Posted:** Fri Feb 23, 2007 9:40 pm

Well, If you ever wonderded why i welcome to the board to Darlo on a 15 hour round trip, now you know :roll:

Poppadom · **Joined:** Thu Feb 22, 2007 2:56 pm **Posts:** 26

Hormones....Don't even think about borrowing my mascara MR I.....or else they'll be curry powder thrown in your face!!

Salty · **Posted:** Fri Feb 23, 2007 9:43 pm

jesus wept Mr I not another one...how many lasses do you have???!!! :shock:

Poppadom · **Joined:** Thu Feb 22, 2007 2:56 pm **Posts:** 26

I think Mr I has lost count! :uhoh:

Salty · **Posted:** Fri Feb 23, 2007 9:48 pm

me and him have a history too you know...... :wink:

dawlishmonkey · **Joined:** Fri Sep 01, 2006 11:53 am **Posts:** 1588

my ex missus used to have pmt(as they used to call it) for 3 weeks of the month,the other week she had the decorators in...oh how I miss her rolfl

Mr Irrelevant · **Joined:** Thu Aug 17, 2006 8:25 pm **Posts:** 22570

Salty wrote:

jesus wept Mr I not another one...how many lasses do you have???!!! :shock:

It's the same one you arse!!

Snowy · **Joined:** Fri Aug 18, 2006 12:18 pm **Posts:** 36413

I only found out later pmt was a double edged sword...pre menstural and post menstural .... there's a couple of hours in between where they're ...'reasonable' banghead

Salty · **Posted:** Fri Feb 23, 2007 9:54 pm

Mr Irrelevant · **Joined:** Thu Aug 17, 2006 8:25 pm **Posts:** 22570

Snowy wrote:

I only found out later pmt was a double edged sword...pre menstural and post menstural .... there's a couple of hours in between where they're ...'reasonable' banghead

Can you help me on what time the reasonableness starts ?

BillinghamPoolie · **Posted:** Fri Feb 23, 2007 9:56 pm

poolpower wrote:

how easy it is to upset some women when you sit next to them at a footy game

It can be a bit embarrassing being with a woman at the match, all that bad language, I didn't know she knew so many crude words :shock:

Snowy · **Joined:** Fri Aug 18, 2006 12:18 pm **Posts:** 36413

Mr I wrote:

Snowy wrote:

I only found out later pmt was a double edged sword...pre menstural and post menstural .... there's a couple of hours in between where they're ...'reasonable' banghead

Can you help me on what time the reasonableness starts ?

THAT'S EASY... it took me years to work out, but basically it occurs when ...you're not there :evil:

, if only you'd been there at the time the world would have been your oyster :shock:

... but you weren't you selfish bastard.. ETC ETC ETC :evil:

thus kicking in the next part of the 'cycle of terror' and so it goes on till the next time of 'reasonableness' ... when you won't be there ...ad infinitum :roll:

NEW ADMIN · **Joined:** Mon Sep 04, 2006 5:48 pm **Posts:** 185

They can only be described as "Snakes with Tits" :roll:

Poppadom · **Joined:** Thu Feb 22, 2007 2:56 pm **Posts:** 26

A recent scientific survey study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their mentrual cycle. For example,when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged masculine features.

And when she is menstuating, she prefers a man doused in petrol, set fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump jammed up his arse!!

How's that for reasonable!

Mr Irrelevant · **Joined:** Thu Aug 17, 2006 8:25 pm **Posts:** 22570

Familiar, familiar................ oh so familiar.

Snowy · **Joined:** Fri Aug 18, 2006 12:18 pm **Posts:** 36413

Poppadom wrote:

A recent scientific survey study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their mentrual cycle. For example,when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged masculine features.

And when she is menstuating, she prefers a man doused in petrol, set fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump jammed up his arse!!

How's that for reasonable!

I've got the latter model :laugh:

Obafemi Obsession · **Posted:** Fri Feb 23, 2007 10:24 pm

What's the difference between PMT and BSE? Fuck all! refred

parmopooly · **Posted:** Fri Feb 23, 2007 10:42 pm

women - can't live with 'em , can't kill 'em

Saddler Dave · **Joined:** Fri Feb 09, 2007 2:50 pm **Posts:** 50

One of the lads on UTS (lives up your way (nearly) - Whitley Bay) once famously said to his missus "I'm just popping down the shop for a paper and a bottle of milk". He turned up 12 hours later making some excuse about meeting an old friend. Trouble was the Sheff Utd v Walsall programme sticking out his arse pocket did him no favours :wink:

Obafemi Obsession · **Posted:** Fri Feb 23, 2007 10:51 pm

Our lass once said to me: "You haven't told me much about your ex girlfriends, what were they like?" I innocently gave her a summary of each of them. For the last two years I have been subjected to comments like: "Why don't you go back to Angela, she was a nympho and would let you do owt" or "You can't push me around and do what you like, like you did with Sarah." I also made the mistake of telling her when I had a big win at the bookies, thinking she would be pleased for me. All I got was: "Well you can buy me a new dress, take me for a meal and book a holiday for us." I said to her: "You give me fuck all when I lose every week!". Best thing to do with women is let them think they are getting their own way :wink:

parmopooly · **Posted:** Fri Feb 23, 2007 10:51 pm

I thought it was going to be a missing person story then. Not quite though

Salty · **Posted:** Fri Feb 23, 2007 10:57 pm

wonder if they're phoning relate yet!! :laugh:

Poppadom · **Joined:** Thu Feb 22, 2007 2:56 pm **Posts:** 26

If you guys need advice on dealing with PMT let me know. During this time of the month women need lots of kisses and hugs. Agree with what they say and show them affection saying the right things.....but make sure you mean it!!

We don't need relate. He knew what he was in for when he met me cos it was the same time then....i think he got some grieve then too, think he must like me...or just women with PMT.

Obafemi Obsession · **Posted:** Fri Feb 23, 2007 11:11 pm

Grieve?

parmopooly · **Posted:** Fri Feb 23, 2007 11:12 pm

it's a kind of cheese I think

Walsallmom · **Posted:** Fri Feb 23, 2007 11:18 pm

I don't get PMT I just let my other half think I do to get my own way and lots of chocolate :grin:

SaigonSaddler · **Posted:** Fri Feb 23, 2007 11:19 pm

It's when they demand 'six dowwa' when we agreed that 'fife dowwa' was an agreeable renumeration that pishes me off :roll:

BillinghamPoolie · **Posted:** Fri Feb 23, 2007 11:21 pm

A big bar of Galaxy solves everything with my better half. I've got to call her that she reads these messages too. :wink:

Walsallmom · **Posted:** Fri Feb 23, 2007 11:29 pm

BillinghamPoolie wrote:

A big bar of Galaxy solves everything with my better half. I've got to call her that she reads these messages too. :wink:

OOhhh Galaxy my favourite, your better half has good taste :grin:

Poppadom · **Joined:** Thu Feb 22, 2007 2:56 pm **Posts:** 26

Chocolates usually too.

Do men get PMT?

Obafemi Obsession · **Posted:** Fri Feb 23, 2007 11:44 pm

Do we fuck. What the fuck are you on about? rage

Women!!!

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