I've managed to arrange an interview with Steve Howard next week.

What do you want me to ask him?

What's the fastest land animal?

Only joking. Ask him if he regrets leaving Pools!

Why, if vampires can't look at their reflection, how come Dracula's hair is always neat?

How much does his dog weigh whilst sleeping on a pillow soaked in stoats piss!!!! :sweet:

PS....How much is his local paper????

PPS....Can he remember me and my cronies stood in the Town End calling him worse than shite but when he scores he's the Bee's Knee's!!!!

has he ever eaten yellow snow?

Does he think Zippy's a bounder as well?? How does he think Boydy will do at Luton?? Does he think they talk like choked llama's in Derby, 'cos I do?? Think that, like, not talk like a choked llama. Has he ever met Trevor Howard, him out of Brief Encounter, and is he any relative??

Who's the most famous woman he's had??

If he had chance to come back to POOLS and knock seven Bells out of that Gadgie who used to do a fans view in the NOrthern echo (The moaning old White haired git in the Mill house Terrace..Not Poolpower), He slated him ever week if i were'nt just a little kids i swear i would have knock him into next week ever game.

does he regret leaving tow law?

does he regret leaving the womb?

When I first saw him playing for us as an attacking midfielder, he had a really good long throw on him. Does he still have it, and if not, can it be found in a charity shop somewhere?

More seriously, he took a lot of stick while learning to be a front man at Pools - did he suggest playing there or was it Tait?

A question from Dave the Poolie (one of the Billingham Poolie gang).

If Steve was called up to play for England (due to the lack of English forwards in the top league) does he think he would be capable of doing a good job for his team.

I would like to know how long a piece of string is