Way down deep in the middle of the Congo, a hippo took an apricot, a guava and a mango. He stuck it with the others, and he danced a dainty tango.

The rhino said, "I know, we'll call it Um Bongo", Um Bongo, Um Bongo, They drink it in the Congo.

The python picked the passion fruit, the marmoset the mandarin. The parrot painted packets that the whole caboodle landed in.
So when it comes to sun and fun and goodness in the jungle, They all prefer the sunny funny one they call Um Bongo!

M....A....R....A....T....H....O....N....marathon!!!!

8)

I could spell that word when I was about 4 years old and did I ever get it in any spelling test????

Did I Fuck!!!! :x :x

It's Breakfast Time again Hip Hip Hooray....
I have Kellogs Fruit & Fibre everyday....
Raisins, Wholewheat Flakes, Bananas, Apples, Coconut, Sultanas
To start the morning off the 'Crunchy'???? way

We both like Kellogs Fruit & Fibre don't we eh????
It's not a cereal that's dreary....
I shall say

BOLLOX....I can't remember the rest!!!! :x :x :lol:

Indeed. Mr Ultimate Farce himself.

See the world through a Budget window
Come home to a Budget door
You know you've made the right choice
No-one gives you more
Than Budget
Budget Windows!

Stale smells up here often come from down there, in your carpet.
Smells from your dog and tobacco too.
Well, Shake 'n Vac from Glade is here.

Do the Shake 'n Vac, and put the freshness back
Do the Shake 'n Vac and put the freshness back
When your carpet smells fresh, your room does too
Every time you vacuum, remember what to do
Do the Shake 'n Vac and put the freshness back.

I'm a noddle doodle man - yes the noodle doodle man
I take spaghetti and I noodle cars and trees and shapes like these
I'm a noodle doodle man - yes the noodle doodle man
Heinz noodle doodles yum yum yum food's never been such fun (boing)

Here is a luxury you can afford by Cyril Lord

Go to work on an egg

What about two TFM oldies... the first I involuntarily sing when the real song is played - in fact me and older bro sang it at the same time when it was on the telly


"SIMPLY THE BEST!
(South Cleveland Garages...)
BETTER THAN ALL THE REST!"

oh, and

"HARDISTY CYCLES.... the home of the mountain biiiiiiike! PORTRACKLANESTOCKTON"

Do they still make um bongo?

yes, had some last week

Sell um bingo and Kia ora both in morrisons

Nuts! Oh hazel nuts! Cadburys take them and cover them in chocolate!

The red car and the blue car had a race, but alll the something something stuff his face...

[/color]
something something
but good old blue he took the Milky Way[/color]

Will it be chips or jacket spuds?
Will it be salad or frozen peas?
Will it be mushrooms?
Fried onion rings?
We'll have to wait and see...
Hope it's chips it's chips, we hope it's chips it's chips...........

So get your Daddy's gun....

Like a bit of Edam on a little bit of toast. When I eat my salad, it's Edam I like most. When I'm feeling hungry, I whack it on some bread. It's cocktails for the upper crust, with Edam on the med.

Yes, way down deep in the middle of the congo

the red car and the blue car had a race
all that red could do was stuff his face
he eats everything he sees
from trucks to prickly trees
but smart old blue he took the milky way

he's looking for a chocolate treat
fluffy and light
cos he knows it won't spoil his app-e-tite

mm mm MMMM!

oh no! the bridge has gone, poor old red just can't carry on
but smart old blue, he took the milky way


They recently changed this, probably to be PC, they took out the bit about it not spoiling your appetite then changed smart to good, possibly because they're not allowed to associate chocolate with being a clever choice.

Sent from my SGS2 using tapatalk. Not from some gay iphone.

Happiness is a cigar called hamlet

Sent from my GT-I8150 using Tapatalk 2

Sir Isaac Newton told us why, an apple falls down from the sky
And from this fact, it's very plain, All other objects do the same.
A brick, a bolt, a bar, a cup, Invariably fall down, not up.
And every common working tool Is governed by the self-same rule.
So when you handle tools up there, Let your watchword be, "Take Care!"
If at work, you drop a spanner, It travels in a downward manner.
At work, a fifth of accidents or more, Illustrate old Newton's law
But one thing he forgot to add;
The damage won't be half as bad, If you are wearing proper clothes,
Especially on your head and toes.
These hats and shoes are there to save, the wearer from an early grave.
So best feet forward and take care, About the kind of shoes you wear.
It's better to be sure, than dead, So get a hat and keep your head

Don't think to go without is brave; The effects of gravity can be grave.

more of a P.I.F than an advert?

Aye, but since when did a thread on here stick to the subject line?

Indeed. There were some splendid P.I.Fs back in the 70s and 80s mind...

There are a few sites dedicated to them. I remember being scared shitless by a few of them as a kid, especially around bommy night.

How many people on here, of a certain age, can't read that and hear it exactly as it was broadcast!

For some strange reason I've always been able to quote the first four lines of that Sir Isaac Newton thing.

A lot of the old road safety ones seem to stick in my mind like 'driver fatigue' or the Amber gambler...

'Oooh there's a man out there waving at us Petunia'


'Meet Dave, he swims like a fish'

Mustn't forget 'Reginald Molehusband'