George Bush has a heart attack and dies. Obviously he goes to hell, where the Devil is waiting for him.

'I'm not sure what to do' says the Devil. 'You're on my list, but I have no room for you. As you definitely have to stay here, I'm going to have to let someone else go.

I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you.
I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let you decide who leaves.'

George thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed.
The Devil opened the first room.
In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of hot water.
He kept diving in and climbing out, over and over.
Such was his fate in hell.
'No!' said George. 'I don't think so, I'm not a good swimmer and don't think I could stay in hot water all day.'

The Devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did wa swing the hammer, time after time.
'No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I had to do was break rocks all day.' commented George.

The Devil opened the third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a spread-eagle pose.
Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.
George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while, and finally said , 'Yeah, I can handle this.'

The Devil smiled and said, 'OK, Monica, you're free to Go'

five things not to say in front of sussex(it was a gay bar really)
1 fuck me
2 i'll toss you for it
3 have you got a fag
4 bottoms up
5 can you push my stool back in