Just tried my shorts on for my holdays Me legs are lily white, whilst my fine upper torso is still reasonably brown , as i like look my best posing on the beach.Can anybody recommend a good spray so i can look my best ?

do you want to look like this:

Top Tips;

Restore colour parity between your upper and lower body by simply having a wash.


HTH.

To where are you taking your caravan this year, Crimdon ?

Try this, please.

Is it even that hot in Egypt at this time of year? I hope the thick twat is expecting it to be boiling!

Walking out of his hotel looking like an extra from 'Benidorm' to be greeted by a cool 16 degrees.......

Wherever you are going I hope it lamps down and you suffer food poisoning that cripples your fingers so you can’t post any more drivel.

Have a good holiday.

How dare you compare me with the scum of Benidorm .I'll have you know only there's only about 25% of my upper body covered in Tattooes .. And i can walk straight after ten pints ..

Rub in some of Salty's chip pan oil, as it's obviously not working for him.

Spray pig slurry on your bottom half then deoderant and colour tone will match seamlessly.