So its break time at work and I am hungry, go to the fridge where I put my egg mayo sandwiches, walkers salt and vinegar crisps and a little bag of haribo to find my asda carry bag with the previous contests in it is not there, I shout the cleaner woman over, has this been emptied this morning no she replies, so I say well my dinner is missing, she replies well someone probably nicked it.

That's a bit sad, nicking your fookin dinner.

I think we must be.

Simple , make up another egg mayo sarnie for tommorow, replacing the mayo with toothpaste, then place back in fridge ..

Better still, make one for tomorrow and whack off in it.

If you must have sandwich sex you'd be better off making two for tomorrow and whacking off in one of them. Otherwise hunger might force you into a nasty dilemma.

Make sure that you know which is which and only leave the right one in the fridge.