..is that what it's come down to??

http://www.hartlepoolmail.co.uk/news/Re ... 6010590.jp

Sounds to me if you go up to a copper and say what a good job he's doing in a slightly slurred accent, you get slapped for 80 snodgers ((c)Mutley) and banned for three days or am I reading that wrong??

Can't you just go out and get a bit pissed any more??

I wouldn't have realised I'd been locked up on Sat night I was so pissed.....

Your reading it wrong.

Then please elucidate.

I have a few friends who are coppers and they dish these out every weekend.

You get a sheet of paper with a map of the town centre on, you have a big blue zone marked out, basically your just not allowed in it, if your spotted in it, your locked up.

I agree with all the measures they take, if you got abused whilst at work by drunken idiots would you think its acceptable?

I'm not saying it's acceptable or not. I'm asking if going and getting pissed, even though you don't become abusive or a nuisance, will get you fined and banned if you're detected to be under the influence.

So get off your fuc king high horse and understand that I'm asking about a change in the law and the manner of policing it that's taken place since I left the country. At which time you could have a tab in a pub.

The people getting fined are being abusive and or threatening. Not everyone turns into an arsehole when drunk.

It is an honest attempt to clean up the town in anticipation of your triumphant return from the east.
Cheese production has already increased and the bisto gravy granules production line is flat out.
All Chinese food outlets are being vetted as to their authenticity with equal vigour.
We're even campaigning to change our new year.
You are an extraordinarily velly well respected prodigal and your potential return is causing much stir in the town, as well as in certain groin areas.
We would appreciate a bit of notice as to when you are setting off. Bands need to practise and, due to the expected throng to greet you, all Police leave will have to be rearranged.

You're in for a long long wait. Just to explain to my missus why you have to put different rubbish in a different coloured receptacle, to even explain the word receptacle and the British importance of rubbish, when she comes from a place that automatically recycles 97% of it's cack, would be a task that would probably split us up.

And incidentally, it's 'v' they can't do, comes out as 'w.' So that would be 'welly well' if you're doing the racial sterotype. They also can't say 'twelve,' it comes out as 'chelf.' Make of it what you will.

Anyway, 3-1 to Pools tonight. Don't have an after game pint or you'll spend a night in the cells for enjoying yourself courtesy of Yubeps fascist thug mates.

if you seen the way some people enjoyed themselves down church street on a friday or saturday night spender you would agree with the blue zone.

p.s. i prefer futaristic zone, or aztec world.

I have, and some of them are horrible and deserve what they get. However I'm trying to establish if you can become a bit happily drunk, wobble a bit, sing 'rule brittania, marmalade and jam' with your mates, and escape a riot stick across the shins, handcuffs, pepper spray, CS, ta zers, a criminal record and a days wages fine.

And I'm getting fookin' nowhere.

Of course you can still do all of the above and more, but as has already been pointed out, arseholes who can't have a drink without needing to get involved in a fight will be dealt with. Can't see any problem with that myself.

Good, thanks Mr Billingham. That's all I wanted to know.

Glad to be off assistance.