No its not to flush out Turner but my toilet wont flush and looking on the net at the causes it seems the cause is a split in the Flush Diaphragm.

Anyone know a "reasonably" (if one exists) plumber to fix it asap?

You can buy a replacement syphon unit with a diaphragm for about £13 from a DIY store. Ours went last year, it's not that big a job to do.

For a pen pusher like me?
Believe me it could be

If your handy you can repair it yourself, I repaired one once using a 4 pint plastic milk container. Turn the water feed off to the cistern, flush it (to empty), take the diaphragm out of the unit, trace it onto the carton, cut it out, there's usually a couple of plastic pins to locate it in place, and replace. It worked for me.

Roberts yer mothers brother.

what he said

Well its looking like i'm ripping the bastid thing out.
I'm dying for a shite.
I hope B&Q have bogs or one of those plant pots might just come in handy.

PM. Ralf.

is it the diaphragm or the gasket which has gone? my guess is the gasket, simply make one yourself by using some laminating sheet, done it at work, works flawless now, only took 10minutes.

On ours it was the diaphragm that had split - as mentioned earlier a new unit was only £13 - £15.

the diaphram sheet is £1.38 from b&q but a full unit is £13.99 its as much work to replace the unit as it is to replace the diaphram so why spend £12.61 more than you need to

Don't worry, Ralf will work that out, pay the £1.38 and nick the full unit

And then moan it cost him £1.38

Thanks to no6 for taking the time to fix it for me.
Money well spent

Did you manage a shit mate??

Aye

yes and i specified no fooking floaters before i went