Holidays off to Hurghada, Egypt in Feb.. will i get a tan ? Whats the place like ? Just thought it be nice to take posters minds off the cold weather like , and i know you'll be pleased for me ..

If your plane fails to crash on the way (and I will tamper with it, or at least organise a 'bird strike') I hope you horrendously suffer from the shits throughout your stay, and on your return Darlo fold, then due to weight loss due to the horrendous shits plus the stress of Darlo folding you waste away and die.

Have a good holiday.

Judging by your avator you already have a good tan.

HIYA SUSSEX! How's Darlo getting on in the League?

Hurghada is smashin' they water the vegetation there with pasteurised sewage at about 5am, so when you get up to go to the Valley of the Kings at 5a.m, you'll be gipping for the first three hours and then you'll sit in the sweltering heat, smelling of shit for three hours while the tourist police amble along to escort you across the terrorist plagued desert.

Or you can spend 10 days in a bazaar buying rank aftershave and fake fags.

You could go diving but once you got to 50m under the sea, you'd still be higher than your team.