Was this not the worst exaggeration phrase used by lidly injured attention-seekers at school?

I wanted to see a cracked skull and brains, but the 'split' was usually a small cut about an inch long at the most, and if it was really severe than there would be a couple of stitches.

did split my head open bunking off school. Twatted my head in an underground car park in the H&V bit on a concrete ceiling support!! Ouch!!
I had some explaining to do....which was unsuccessful as it turned out. But at least the owld feller never hit me over the head for a change

the story of how i split my head open gets told now and then and gets more and more exaggerated each time i tell it!

i split me head open

6 years old up my dads allotment - oil drum with a fire in - (don't touch that fire) - so peered over the top

burnt (and scarred) top lip on it and then recoiled backwards and "split me head open" on a broken paving stone. Knocked out - got rushed to St Hilda's Hospital up the headland and had some stitches in the gash - still have a visible scar to this day.

I split my head open in jaxs, my mate jumped on my back and i slipped over right onto the bar, i now have a lovely 2" scar in between my eyebrows, it opened up massive and blood everywere, 5 stickes on inside and 6 on the outside. I wouldnt care I wasnt ever drunk.

That's another favourite in the same vein (see what I did there??)

Does anyone ever say 'I got meandered to hospital, or they ambled me in, in a quite circuitous manner, or well, I left it a few hours like.....'

i was rushed spender man - up king oswy allottments and the old boys mate took us in his old post office van - and we was rushed - 6 year old young un, blood pouring out of head, course you gonna be rushed to hospital.

why was it you could never get out of hildas without a tetanus,no matter what you went with like something in your eye or owt like that you got a tetanus

If you were knocked out......How do you know you were rushed

Rhetorical question.

Is no-one going to pounce on 'stitches in the gash'???? . . . . . . . . . . . . . I'm disappointed in you all!

What about 'I've shit meself...'

How can you shit yourself?? You'd have to eat yourself first and then turn double inside out??

Same as 'I've pissed meself.' Well, did you drink yourself first??

I could go on...

'I've bust me nose!' = 'I had a nosebleed.'

poke your eye out is a good one. How exactly can you poke it OUT?

'I threw me guts up!' . . . . . . . . . . . . hmmmmm, did you really?

Me arse caved in...

"I laughed my head off", now I've been to lot's of comedy shows and have never seen anybody leave a theatre/auditorium minus their head.

'ooooh, I'm starving to death, me

No you aren't you fat feck


PS


Apologies to Dibble

"I got my head kicked in"

Never mind falling on the ice , a dozy labourer i was working with today moved some steps with a f lump hammer on the top .true , it dropped on my head.

Was this the f lump in question?

Hope the hammers okay then.

"If i had a hammer...."