Something you don't see much nowadays is the tiresome exchanges in the 'size of turkey' war. Someone would make the idiotic mistake of mentioning the size of their turkey and immediately an arms race of Cold War proportions would break out. It almost as though to have the smallest bird was a direct reflection on your sexual prowess and financial credibility. The bragging and fantasizing went on till estimates put the size of the winning bird nearer to that of an ostrich ...on steroids, where the carcass could be used as a small garage.
An easy way to end this, was to mention your birds weight in kilo's, (lying of course) ..... stops the silliness dead in it's tracks.

Well ours is about 14lb.

I like to have a bit left over for Boxing Day, the day after etc. to eat cold with smoked salmon and home made chips.

It's going in the oven in about an hour's time, gonna have the legs off the beast for tea.

Are you a leg or a breast man Ripper?

Oh both Mr O, but I do particularly love a nice big breast.

I'm fond of a bit of thigh meself like.

Does anyone like stuffing?

Looks like Darlo Pete wins.....

"I was at the market this morning and got my Turkey which weighed in at 21lbs 4oz, which was the largest Turkey that he had this year."

http://www.darlofc.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=3427

He managed to get it in during a discussion about their chances of playing over Christmas, so that it qualified for his Roll of Honour.