What is Prince Philip thinking / saying??

" mannnnnnn shes fineeeeeeeeeeeeeee "

what the bloody hell is an IPOD???

"A G.I.L.F.?"

my bloody shoes are already clean

"I thought we were putting the brakes on asylum seekers"

I hope this Osama bloke doesn't have a bomb strapped on him.

And he's not using our lasses rug as a prayer mat an'all.

Queen: What did you have for breakfast?
Obama: well we had a few boring meetings with the Chinese and koreans, but i didnt fall asleep!!
Phillip: Could you tell them apart???

Legend!!

The Duke of Edinbrough: What a bloke !!!

Nice tits, whose the nignog?








Sorry, I couldn't help it.

I am sorry old chap but we dont serve fired chicken and watermelom here.

"Isn't it amazing the things that they can train them to do nowadays."

"I wonder if they know how to use the toilet?"

"Aaah, nice cup of PG anybody?"

Go on then you two, start with Old man river followed by Working on a chain gang.

"Do you know that we sell Gollywog dolls in Windsor, they would be right up your street"

How about, De Campdown lady?

Brenda has sewn up my coat sleeves again.

You bastards .

Ive just spat soup all over my desk at work. People have asked me what is funny but I cant show them, I would get sacked

You have come a long way since Kunta Kinte's days

"Lizzy, why are you shaking hands with the servants? Spit on them for god's sake"

mr president; why are you using david foley as a backpack ?

Ey, thats not bad

1. China State Visit, 1986

If you stay here much longer, you’ll all be slitty-eyed.

2. To a blind women with a guide

“Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now?”

3. To an Aborigine in Australia

“Do you still throw spears at each other?”

4. To his wife, the Queen, after her coronation

“Where did you get the hat?”

5. When asked if he would like to visit the Soviet Union

“The bastards murdered half my family”

6. To a Briton in Budapest

“You can’t have been here that long - you haven’t got a pot belly.”

7. To a driving instructor in Scotland

“How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?”

8. After the Dunblane shooting

“If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?”

9. To a student who had been trekking in Papua New Guinea

“You managed not to get eaten, then?”

10. To Elton John after hearing Elton had sold his Gold Aston Martin

“Oh, it’s you that owns that ghastly car - we often see it when driving to Windsor Castle.”

11. On the London Traffic Debate

“The problem with London is the tourists. They cause the congestion. If we could just stop tourism, we could stop the congestion.”

12. To the President of Nigeria, dressed in traditional robes

“You look like you’re ready for bed!”

13. Unknown

“If you see a man opening a car door for a woman, it means one of two things: it’s either a new woman or a new car!”

14. On key problems facing Brazil

“Brazilians live there”

15. To the matron of a hospital in the Caribbean

“You have mosquitos. I have the Press”

no more than 25pence per window
and no hoovering before 9 30am

'Hmmmm. . . . . wonder if she likes it up the wrong un'