Aaaaaaarrrghhhh!!!



That is all.....

I've got em for 5 days and nights over the festive period.

Whenever my mam's parents used to come round, my dad used to disappear into the garage because something vital needed fixing.

I'm going to take a leaf out of his book and line up some projects. If I post a few pictures on here, do you think I'll get some much needed advice like 'those tiles could do with repointing', 'that skirting could do with painting' etc?

You can count on it!

I empathise boys.......twats aint they???!

We have had my m.i.l for xmas dinner for the last 12 years. This year i'm having turkey instead.

best thing about the inlaws coming around is when they leave

I'm gonna fill the house with beer, wine, and whisky. Ma-in-law is a teetotaller and disapproves of pa-in-law having a tipple.

Sis-in-law is also stopping, and she loves a beer or two.

Should be interesting!

Are you going to try and get her pissed and give her one on the couch?

If she's half decent I'll nip round and moisturise her for you if you like. That your sister in law I mean, not the missus.

I did initially write 'she loves a sup' but changed it as I knew it would incite filth from the resident board perverts. There's no hope for you depraved individuals.

yeah fine whatever but

"Are you going to try and get her pissed and give her one on the couch?"

Fraid not. What I was trying to state was the likelihood of some chew caused by unfettered access to drink for pa-in-law, who is likely to be influenced by sis-in-law, to the chagrin of teetotal ma-in-law.

It'll be different to when we stop at theirs for Christmas, when there's not a drop in the house, and the nearest pub is over an hour's walk away.

I just wouldn't go, surely there is no better excuse than a dry house unless you just wanna be blatant and tell the Mrs that you can't stand her weird family.

If you post some photos first then surely you could get good advice on which projects to embark upon over the festive period?

PS. Christmas is meant to be fun, I hate it if Mrs R ever has a festive period.

If there's enough lather flying about you could do all three?? Christmas IS fairly boring after all.....

I would love to not have to bother with family at Xmas. We did it one year and it was the best ever. Apart from our lass got her ear chewed off for the next three months, which then impacts on me.

Last year I took a sly bottle of whisky up to the in-laws. I felt like an alkie, nipping off now and then for a dram. That's why I'd sooner have them on my turf - I can eat/drink what I like when I like, have the heating on full whack, there's about a dozen pubs within ten minutes walk and plenty of pals to go and visit when it gets too claustrophobic.

This is one of the good things about being married to a bloke.......if you decide you don't want to do Christmas with the family, he's much more likely to agree than are other sorts of spouse!

what other sorts can there be, like??

Mine are dead .........

did you cover up your tracks though?

... it was all very .........hmmmmm ...tasteful. ..... and Xmas really is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo relaxing.
Relatives... dontcha just hat...miss them

Actually mine are dead as well but I never had the pleasure of ending their miserable existances. Trust me the worlds alighter place. Their bitch kid is still alive though. Lets hear it for the mother who hasn't bothered contacting her daughter for ten years or more.

Not sure how a parent can do that. Even though I'm apart from their mother I start getting the shakes if I don't see my two for a couple of days. Fortunately we (her & I) are on excellent terms, actually better than when we were together. Mind you, at a grand a month maintenance you would expect it !!!!

Well you have to be a thoroughgoing hardnosed full weight bounder. Simple.

A grand a month?? What's your kids made of?? Platinum??

in Russia they would be made from plutonium

Yes. And studded with diamonds. It came about when we split up and she was going to buy a house in an area that I was not happy with so I offered to pay her a bit more in order that she could live in a better area. Then because my Dad qualifies for a mobility car, I organised her a car through that scheme which I also ended up paying for. Anyway, I get paid a reasonable amount and there cannot be a better place to put your dosh other than in your kids now can there?

You really shouldn't put anything in your kids. Social services are mustard on that kind of behaviour, be warned.

Seriously, yes. They pay you back in spades although the balance of payments in our family still seems to be flowing copiously the other way up to yet. However her house is on the market and I might cash in yet!! See, I get the bitch's share as well.