The squirdly wirdler on my whizzbanger isn't turning round properly. I've tried skyhooks, a bucket of steam, rubber AND glass hammers not to mention left handed screwdrivers. Should I try tartan paint, or go for a long stand?

If you go for the long stand you might need a big weight as well but i think what you need is either a wire mesh bucket or a chocolate fire guard, hope this helps.