Just got back from me mates and I've got 7 cans of John Smiths left and I'm listening to 'Bakers Dozen'....(Oi! Band from Scotland)....but I've left me tabs at me mates up Rift House!!!!



So I'm gonna' look like a smackhead and ride a girls Mountain Bike with a Dut on at 02.39am to Murray Street!!!!

I only need a bin bag with some cheap tat that's been nicked to be a proper one....oh and a pasty complexion cos of the shit diet cos drugs is better than food!!!! :sweet: :sweet:

I'll let you know when I get back if I got pulled by the Police!!!! :sweet:

But if I don't get pulled by the Police they'll be a letter of complaint going in to page 8 of The Yakka'Mail!!!!



Phone the Police if I'm not back in 20 minutes....or The Yakka'Mail!!!! :sweet:

It's now 4.01am and I've just got back!!!! :sweet:

It only took me an hour and 10 minutes to get from A to B!!!!

I got to Londis in Raby Road and no-one was behind the counter so I tapped on the window!!!!

No answer!!!!

I was being polite so only tapped lightly for 5 minutes!!!!

Then a car pulled up behind me and a skinny blonde yakka bewer approached the counter and we made small talk!!!! :sweet:

Nah....she weighed about 7 stone wringing wet....not my scene!!!!

If she weighed about 15 stone and had knockers like a Gnu's forehead I wouldn't be typing this shit now!!!!

So anyway a fat bloke appears carrying a tray of Cheap Irun Brew so I let the skinny slut go in front!!!! :sweet:

Then a gadgee appears....I thought he was from the skinny things car but he wasn't!!!!

We both want 10 Tabs and talk about the skinny ugly thing and what we would have done if SHE came onto us!!!!

Anyway we end up talking for nearly an hour....not about the food scarce yakka!!!!

A decent lad....apparently a Bouncer!!!!

A year younger than me but growing up in the same era lots of similartites etc!!!!

I said to him I was busting for a tab and had to come out on our lasses' bike to get some Tabs and was paranoid that I might be mistaken for a Smackhead cos of my dut and gloves etc!!!!

But cos he grew up the same time as me he said....

'I can tell you're not a smackhead....you're dressed to smart'!!!! :sweet: :sweet:

I was wearing a dut whilst riding a girls Mountain Bike with Ox-Blood 8 Hole DM's on with a pair of Wranglers turned up just above the ankle and an Alpha 'Parka' type coat on!!!! :sweet:

Do you think he was coming on to me????

Whatever you think he said I'll get in any Hartlepool Nightclub for nowt if I just mention his name!!!! :sweet: :sweet:



Nah....seriously....he was a canny lad and much better than some 'people' I could have met at a 24 hour shop at 3am in Raby Road!!!! :sweet: :sweet:

PS....Turning out of Young Street into Murray Street a 'Paddy Wagon' is coming straight towards me!!!!!



Did it stop and search me????

NO!!!!

I'd rather it did....I could have been anyone!!!!

But seriously....

The other Saturday v Darlo I stayed in cos I know for a fact I'd have been pulled every 100 yards I walked and I didn't want the hassle!!!!

But ride about the town on a Bike that obviously isn't yours at 4am with a dut and gloves on....you don't even get a second glance!!!!

But have a few drinks with your mates Saturday afternoon and get a Police camera pushed in your face and then the usual Name, Address, D.O.B. etc etc!!!!

Or go 1 MPH over the limit....(PS....I'm not condoning it)....get a fine by post!!!!

Don't pay your 'Council Tax', 'Poll Tax', 'Window Tax', 'Green Tax', '4x4 Tax'....Go Straight To Jail!!!!



But if you are a persistant offender....'DON'T DO IT AGAIN....AND DON'T DO IT AGAIN....AND DON'T DO IT AGAIN....Naughty Boy/Girl!!!!



'WE'LL FINE YOU' or give you 'COMMUNITY SERVICE'!!!!

That works....as if they pay or turn up!!!!!

'OR AN ASBO'!!!!!....to you show off to your mates....(PS....only between 9am and 7pm like!!!! ) like a medal!!!!

I'm sorry but now I'm on my Soap Box....



But come on people....this country is going to the dogs!!!!

If real criminals got locked up or even got dealt with adequately the prisons wouldn't be overflowing.....they'd be full of people who deserved to be there!!!!



Put it this way....I rode about the Town Centre at 4am wearing a dut and gloves on a girls bike and I never got a second glance off the Police!!!!


But if I was walking down Murray Street at 4am pissed up, wobbling allover but dressed like I'd been for night out round the town....chances are I'd have been nicked by the Muskers for being Drunk and Disordely!!!!



I'd have pled my innocence to them....but would have made it worse for myself!!!!

BUT....I don't blame the Police....They have more chance of getting an Arrest and a CONVICTION by locking someone up who's a little worse for wear than locking up someone who's riding a 'stolen' bike and who's wearing gloves etc!!!!



It's how it works these days....sad but it is!!!!

PS....we've all read comics or seen TV shows in the 'Olden Days' were the bad guys run about carrying bags with 'Swag' on the side....shitty mountain bikes and gloves and duts are the 21st Century version of 'Swag'!!!!



I hope to God someone like Mr.Trimdon replies to this....cos what I'd say to him is this....

'It's 4am Monday Morning and you get waken by a noise....you look out of your window and see a person loitering about outside your house on a shit bike with gloves and a dut on....what do you do'????

You'd watch to see what he'/she's upto wouldn't you?!?!

Of course you would!!!!

But what about....

'It's 4am Monday Morning and you get waken by a noise....you look out of your window and see a person wobbling outside your house....unsteady on the feet etc....what do you do'?????

You say to your self....'He/She's had a good night....I hope they get home alright'!!!!

We all know what I mean!!!!

PS....I don't blame the Police....They've been instructed by this Government to get as much money as possible and then they'll get bonuses and they know if they lock up the real 'baduns' they won't get the bonuses cos 'Joe Public' is more likely to pay a 'Fine' than....'others'!!!!
Plus all the extra 'paperwork' the Police have to go through after they've actually arrested someone isn't worth it really when you know the 'offender' has no intentions or means to pay for the fine or to do the 'time'!!!!

I know from experience I would/should have been stopped 10 years ago for doing what I did tonight!!!!

And All the Mr.Trimdons will come out with the 'Human Rights Bollox'!!!!

Well I say Bollox!!!!

I had nothing to hide and if the Muskers pulled me I'd have copperated etc!!!! :sweet:

I'm sorry....but I just wish they had the manpower and belief in the court system to stop dodgy looking bastards like me in the middle of the night....they use' to !!!! :sweet:

PPS....Nothing against Mr./Dr.Trimdon....a very intelligent and easy going lad!!!! :sweet: :sweet: :sweet:

I just wish he'd actually pull the trigger one day!!!! :sweet: :sweet:

Fcking Hell....I've been going on haven't I!?!?



This must be a first for me aswell....I typed a new thread without reading the earlier threads!!!!

I better read them now!!!!

PS....I'm Listening to 'The Only Ones'!!!!! :sweet:

PPPPPS....Wilson Out!!!!

How, Muttley!!!

There was only me and you out of bed and I'm in a time zone seven hours in front of you!!

But now you've got some...........giz a tab!!

oi mutters why dont you get a few spare packs of bacci in then you wouldnt keep running out of tabs, just a thought like. i think you like the regular jaunts out during the night

Oh Fuck!!!!

What have I been upto now????

That was a rant & a half Mutters!!

That Londis attratcs all sorts, years ago when my brother lived near the town, after a big nite out, he didnt have enough for a keebab so he decided to by a loaf from Londis and they passed it through the little sliding hatch thing, it came out about a foot long, still made nice turst tho!

bit harsh on the good doctor like mutters...