On my drive to and from work every day, I pass a lot of the same people walking to work/school, none of whom I know, but I have given them nicknames.

There's Mrs Gunt, a porky lady who walks her kids to school in her vest and leggings.

'The Librarian', a prim and proper looking woman in her mid 30s who I reckon is a bit of a screamer.

'The Arse', sadly I haven't seen her for a while, used to be jogging every morning in a pair of lycra shorts covering her exquisite buttocks.

'Spring Heel Jack', a young lad who walks with a very bouncy gait.

'Car Crash Tits', a lass of about 19 who is bound to cause me an accident one day.

'The Rapist', a bloke who I wouldn't be shocked to see on Crimewatch. I'm sure he's a dead nice bloke etc but I just think 'Sex Case' every time I see him.

I wish I shared the drive with someone so I could share these observations. When me and our lass used to drive to work together, we used to speculate about the sad life of an annoying power-mad lollipop lady who would let a maximum of three cars by between flounces into the road with her stick.

I'm trying to think of a surname for my new invisible friend (George)

call him george george

gorgeous george would turn some heads mind

How about .......Danny?

How about reynolds MkII, for your invisible friend. you could send him to darlo to fuck them like reynolds MkI

'Car Crash Tits', a lass of about 19 who is bound to cause me an accident one day.

Me and my cousin did this. We used to go to Millhouse baths about 3-4 times a week and you could guarantee there would be the same people there everytime.

There was

'Make Up Lady' - A women in her late 40's who isisted on going swimming with over-the-top make up on.

'Moobs' - A large bloke with bigger boobs than most women I know.

'Mini Moobs' - Who had slightly smaller boobs than Moobs.

'Perv' - A bloke who looked very much like a pervert.

'Goggles Man' - Who always wore goggles and then swam under the water whenever you were near him.

There were quite a few others, but can't remember their names.

Did you have names for the staff too Tigga ?(especially the one with the skinhead)

Yeah, that was 'Perv'!!
















Only kidding Muts.

We had a few weird ones round our way when we were kids:

Albert - lived in a house with no electricity and used to come around the houses asking for a potato, the rumour amongst the kids was that his mam was dead and her body was in the wardrobe. Last i heard he'd moved out, got himself cleaned up and frequents the towns local nightspots.

The Divvy - Lived in a maisonette and tried to kill kids at every opportunity (in our minds), ended up being evicted for being a nuisance neighbour, probably just cracked up from all the abuse he got off kids over the years.

Cowly Custard (Yubep might know him?) - We used to sing Cowly cowly custard fooks with the mustard in his alley, then wonder why he came out to chase us

Jesus jones superstar - Bloke with a beard who had a bike, used to wear a helmet with sonic ears on it, we ha d asong we used to sing to him, "Jesus Jones the superstar, comes round the corner on his yamaha, pulled a skid, killed a kid, caught his knackers on a dustbin lid"

Go-fella - Man with a coca cola dut and a beard, used to walk everywhere really quick, often just around the block with a group of kids behind him singing "go fella go fella fella go go"

West View was weird!

The first time I went away on holiday with me mates, to Benidorm, I remember "Jungle Jim" (leopardskin cossie), "Baboon" (shaped like one and looked like one, even the teeth), and "Real blonde" (stray hairs creeping outside her cossie line were the giveaway; unfortunately that's as much proof as I ever got ).

Is that the fella who was in trouble for stuff with horses?

Big Jim K!

Losher seems to know him.

They're made for each other.

Oi!! I'm from West View!!!


















Point proven!!!!

Is this 'Go-fella' the same person as 'Darkie Dan'??

ASDA Bin episodes and that??


We used to call the Minchers, wait for it. Mincher the tatty pincher. We were 100% sure he nicked potatoes from our street!! Twice.

The ginger mullet fella isn't Darkie Dan Harrison, it's a popular misconception. DDH is/was a black-haired baghead from Seaton Lane who got caught with the horses whereas the mullet bloke lives on Milbank Road according to a mate of mine.

We used to have a window cleaner with a badly scarred face from a burn.... and the lads used to call him 'shifty'...One teatime, knock at the door and I said to my youngest lad to answer it.....he shouted in "It's shifty dad, come for his money"... I paid him ....he never returned.