....been clearing things away all the morning for the some carpentry jobs. Only now does he tell me he can't get here till Monday

Is leaving them cleared away not an option?

Of course not.
When I say 'cleared away', I mean I've taken them out of cupboards and now they're all over the kitchen table

Well there's your excuse for eating out for the next six days then.

Seems reasonable, ours is like that all the time.

Is his name Joseph?

you can make an inventory of all the items before you put them away again

He'll wish his name was Joseph when I get hold of him on Monday.

Anyway, cupboard contents, eh? All those things I put away ten tears ago, just in case I needed them...

You should use it as an excuse for a good clear out Grabec. Have someone with you at the time though, it helps you to be more ruthless!

Well, Joseph's been. It was all a bit mystifying tho

I suddenly found meself issued with a set of measurements and instructions for cutting the bathroom blind down to size while Joseph got on in the kitchen. I'd thought we'd arranged that this was his job, but well, OK, used to make frocks in me youth, same principle, so I start snipping away. Then there's the roller bit in the middle that the scissors won't cut through.
'You need a saw for that,' he says, 'ee dear, here's me giving you all the trade secrets'.

After intensive sawing it becomes clear that his measurements were wrong in the first place,and the blind won't fit.
'Well, hang on a bit,' he says sympathetically, 'I'll come and give you a hand.....Tricky things, blinds.'

Now, erm... do I pay him or does he pay me?

You're a woman (I'm led to believe) so you wouldn't be knowing about such things.

Depends whether you cried or not I suppose....