I decided to steep me plant-watering bottle in bleach, as the inside was a bit hacky. Left the bottle in the kitchen for 10 minutes while I did something else, and in that tiny space of time, the bairn waltzed in and took the unprecedented step of 'watering' the cacti.

The cacti look OK at the minute, like, but they might be just taking a long time to die....

I read your title as saying beach and thought of course they can you silly bugger, they survive in deserts so they're gonna be fine down the beach arent they?
Erm...then I read your post.
Personally I reckon your cactus is gonna die a slow and very painful death.
And cheerful talk wont help one little bit either I'm afraid.
Please keep an eye on it and let me know how this develops (dies).

Although repotting them immediately might help them and then rinsing the new compost / soil through to the point of saturation, leaving them a few hours and repotting them again in more clean soil / compost.

Well, I hope I don't have to report their untimely death Mr BWH And will try Mr R's rehydration technique.

The bairn is quite attached to them so I'm in the dog-house. She's even given 'em names

Mind your fingers, seem's as though Mr Ripper neglected to warn you!

He would

I don't think I could bring myself to kick Rupert

He did. He drank bleach. I've explained all that

I tried growing cactus once and ... surprisingly found that they didn't like water very much. Beware of Mr Ripper's technique!

Overwatering knacks them, the Mrs has several in our house.

Hence why I said that once you've soaked them in "clean" compost in order to dilute the bleach to repot them again into dry stuff.

Ultimately, you bloody murdering maniac, it's all down to you. Considering most plants, crops and flowers thrive on shite, sunshine and filthy rain, you decided that you'd treat the cactus like it needed bottled spring water and clean out it's 'pseudo breast.'

I hope you can't sleep.

Aye but if you get a blowback at optimum cramming time and a sphincter full of cactus spines, I'd hear the howls of agony from here.

And when you consider that you'd have to go to North Tees face down on the bus with your crackers round your knees......


Not good eh??

I've just been reading up on this especially for you Mrs Grabey.

Apparently the best "cure" for the plant is to hide it under the pillow of whoever poured the bleach on it.

Miraculous by all accounts.

Check it out www.cureyourplantswithwitchdoctortechni ... xpense.com

Well, the cacti are still alive. They just look cleaner than usual.


I've been told off again and told to say it's not called Rupert. So, I made a mistake. it's not called Rupert, right?

Probably best now to call Rupert, 'Its wants throwing in the bin, someone's poisoned it...'

Probably best if you now refer to Rupert as, 'It wants throwing in the bin, someone's offed it...'

It will always be Rupert to me

Don't say that, Mutley. I'm living in hope, here

How about 'Rup-ex??'