He desreves a 'fair trial' before he's found guilty

I object

It has not yet been established that i'm a bounder

a hemm...

Well I think he's been made an escape goat!!!!

hung drawn and quartered by the great unwashed

he has enough troubles living darn sarf

If you support Darlowerthanusinthetable, living 'darn sarf' is the least of your problems ..... in fact, Beghdad sounds appealing!

burn her burn her....she's a witch....burn her...

What an odd name for a witness

He's leading the witness

What washing up liquid does she use? its an important question in checking that hands that do dishes can be soft as your face.

That's contempt! Take him down.

I am unaware of this corner flag that you mention

I wish to confer with my QC

Read your PM!

Overruled. It's a relevant question to ask at this time.

He seems like a good old boy, let him off I say. Your bullying you are, you lot, let him off!!

I'm a witch

I think you'll find that I can! Remember, I am The Law around here!

Sadly the hatchet in question was to burried in the skull and not the ground......sorry...continue

You're losing your case ADG, at best you now have a well hung jury.

Yes but "around here" in your case is the West Midlands!

The whole case is INDESITputed by Mr Sarf and the prosecution's case is falling down BEKOuse of the inability of the barrister to make a HOT POINT understood.

Oh go on then tiresome individual.

I've been asleep. Have I missed anything?

I am afraid tha only wizards, shamans and demons can father witches so the Sarf can only be one of those. He also would have the power of necromancy and would therefore be able to call upon the dead, if he could do this then surely the loids would be better than the shower they are. This is NOT over, this is NOT over by a long chalk

I'm on the stand VAX me your questions.

I swear by all of those and by White Goods, the roman god of domestic appliances.

No it does not. It used to stand for irrelevant but being in the past it is irrelevant in itself. It now stands nothing but itself. I is my name, I am I.

Present company excepted ?

Witches: Not that I am aware of

Loids: Guilty. My view is that there are a small number of loids who can string a sentence together and should be encouraged to join in order to bring some friendly banter and even occasionally some unfriendly banter.

bounders: none that I knew were such.

i would like to be a witness for the defence
i have new evidence that will find him not guilty
depending on whether he is red or blue

well no, but I made no secret of the fact

I have no knowledge of the battle of Sarf and ECG if indeed it happened. It seems like a misunderstanding from where I'm sat. What I've seen of Sarfs posts show him to be one of the more sensible and reasonable loids. I have never seen or heard of him indulging in witchcraft or cnutisms.

The point earlier proves he has no magical powers; would Darlow be so so shite if he could harness the elements ?

Now, about this washing up liquid.

this is a kangaroo court and i demand to be heard
i have evidence that is crucial to the case

I've already told you, you're in contempt. Send him down.

Might I suggest that we treat this new witness with extreme caution. If hanging around supermarkets is a crime then Poolpower is a similar level to Harold Shipman. He is on first name terms with most of Asda.

I have never denied that I was.

Sorry m'lud

errrrr...I do, i suppose

As I have already stated, you can only be called a witch if your female. if you are to call this man here present anything today then it must be Wizard, sorcerer, warlock or shaman.

Furthermore, I have studied Necromancy, spellcasting, meditation, divination and prophecy, my credentials in this matter are not in question.

Your honour, I have not come here to have my good name besmudged by this sumarian.

May I ask what this has to do with the charges laid before the court?

It's a fairly simple case, according to the law of lower division football, all Darlington supporters are loids, all loids are bounders, according to the sacred monkey. Now, as at the time of the 18th century, many witches and wizards were cast out from their Christian churches, they were met by another group of oucasts, these outcasts were.............du du duuuuu........QUAKERS, the quakers adopted the witches into their faith to boost numbers. Therefore, wizards/witches are quakers, quakers are loids, loids are bounders.

May I venture to ask the court what is the relevance of an Old English king of Danish origin, the son of Sweyn Forkbeard, to a witch hunt against an expatriated supporter of the world's worst football club?

Your honour this is not cross examination as I know it and I hate to bring up old ground but should a name such as MFI not have an before it rather than a?

The breakfast serial you refer to just so happens to be very crunchy, tasty and packed full of goodness

And you preferred brand of white goods is what?


NB: Your honour, we still await confirmation of the washing up liquid manufacturer.

don't you 'fridga'dare cast aspertions on my white goods, they are all from a shop that has a name like a spiralling mass of floating debris flying through the milky way.

Notto!!

I never said I believed in the existance of these people, I believe that people believe in the existance of such things, the existance is not in question here is it? If so, then you are right, if you can't see it, touch it, feel it or smell it, then it's usually a pile of old do do.

My beliefs about bounders is something else altogether, my place of residence; as you well know, is full of them

what the hell's all this about?

A question you may well ask Sir!

but the answer would sadly be that nobody knows for sure