> UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)
>
>
> Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and
> 'cheesemongers'?
> Contestant: Homosexuals.
> Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be
> very upset with you.
>
>
>
> BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)
>
> Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?
> Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.
> Theakston: There's a clue in the title.
> Contestant: Leicester .
>
> BBC NORFOLK
>
>
> Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful
> World?
> Contestant: I don't know.
> White: I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part
> between your hand and your elbow?
> Contestant: Arm.
> White: Correct. And if you're not weak, you're...?
> Contestant: Strong.
> White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?
> Contestant: Louis.
> White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with
> the song What A Wonderful World?
> Contestant: Frank Sinatra?
>
> LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS )
>
>
> Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy ?
> Contestant: France .
> Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.
> Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.
> Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which
> country is the Parthenon?
> Contestant: Sorry, I don't know.
> Trelinski: Just guess a country then.
> Contestant: Paris .
>
> THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)
>
>
> Anne Robinson: - Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer
> have all written books about their experiences in what: - Prison, or
> the Conservative Party?
> Contestant: The Conservative Party.
>
> BEACON RADIO ( WOLVERHAMPTON )
>
>
> DJ Mark: For ?10, what is the nationality of the Pope?
> Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?
>
> UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
>
> Bamber Gascoigne: What was Gandhi's first name?
> Contestant: Goosey?
>
> GWR FM ( Bristol )
>
>
> Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?
> Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.
>
> RTE RADIO 2FM ( IRELAND )
>
>
> Presenter: What is the name of the long- running TV comedy show
> about pensioners: Last Of The...?
> Caller: Mohicans.
>
> PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO MANCHESTER )
>
>
> Phil: What's 11 squared?
> Contestant: I don't know.
> Phil: I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the
> middle.
> Contestant: Is it five?
>
> RICHARD AND JUDY
>
>
> Q: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?
> A: Forrest Gump.
>
> RICHARD AND JUDY
>
>
>
> Leslie: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?
> Contestant: Er. . .
> Leslie: He makes bread . . .
> Contestant: Er . ...
> Leslie: He makes cakes . . .
> Contestant: Kipling Street ?
>
> LINCS FM PHONE-IN
>
>
> Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the
> world?
> Contestant: Barcelona .
> Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
> Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries
> in Spain .
>
> NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)
>
>
> Question: What is the world's largest continent?
> Contestant: The Pacific
>
> ROCK FM ( PRESTON )
>
> Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the
> name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci.
>
> Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
>
> THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)
>
>
> Steve Le Fevre: What was signed, to bring World War I to an end
> in 1918?
> Contestant: Magna Carta?
>
> JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)
>
>
> O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?
> Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ...
> ER?ER...Three?
>
> CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL )
>
>
> Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna ?
> Caller: Japan .
> Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't
> hear that, I can let you try again.
> Caller: Er .... Mexico ?
>
> PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE )
>
>
>
>
> Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and
> Israel last?
>
> Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.
>
> DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)
>
> Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
> Contestant: Holland ?
> Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
> Contestant: Iceland ? Ireland ?
> Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel ?
> Contestant: No.
>
> PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)
>
>
> Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?
> Contestant: Er. .. .
> Wood: It's got two syllables . . . Kor . . .
> Contestant: Blimey?
> Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . .
> Contestant: (Silence)
> Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .
> Contestant: Walked?
>
> THE VAULT
>
>
> Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the
> sufferer can fall asleep at any time?
> Contestant: Nostalgia.
>
> LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)
>
>
> Presenter: What religion was Guy Fawkes?
> Contestant: Jewish.
> Presenter: That's close enough.
>
> STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)
>
>
> Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which
> jungle-swinging character clad only in a loin cloth did he play?
> Contestant: Jesus
>
>
>

You got no work to do?

very funny, but also very sad at the same time!!!!
Politically-correct teaching agendas, as opposed to teaching people basic and useful things to help them in their everyday lives, will increase the number of apparent dimwits..............

> Anne Robinson: - Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer
> have all written books about their experiences in what: - Prison, or
> the Conservative Party?
> Contestant: The Conservative Party.

Wasn't that the right answer like?

> UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
>
> Bamber Gascoigne: What was Gandhi's first name?
> Contestant: Goosey?
>
A medal to that contestant! Don't tell me he wasn't taking the piss. Absolutley brilliant, I wish it had been me who said it!


Remember this punch line: "I think I know this one - is it three gloves?"