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Spender · **Posted:** Wed Oct 31, 2007 10:09 am

my new fantastic three in one Hewlett Packard 3-in-1 printer copier scanner rig out!! The bobs dollocks it is, does owt at the touch of a button!! :grin:

Guess how much?? :grin:

Jonny · **Posted:** Wed Oct 31, 2007 10:21 am

Cost - 200quid

Weight - 6.5kg ???

ptbap · **Posted:** Wed Oct 31, 2007 10:27 am

Nah, cheap as chips on ebuyer, £33.82 inclusive of 'value' add tax

http://www.ebuyer.com/product/118839

Hawklord · **Joined:** Thu Aug 17, 2006 10:27 pm **Posts:** 3115

That curtain needs pullin slightly to the left. :wink:

ptbap · **Posted:** Wed Oct 31, 2007 10:36 am

I bet it didn't come with a usb cable either, another £5 for one of those.

Spender · **Posted:** Wed Oct 31, 2007 10:41 am

Wrong wrong wrongety wrong!!! :grin:

Carts are about 6 quid for colour, it had everything in the box to install and connect it, and it cost 31.67. :wink:

Although I have pulled the curtain across. :evil:

Hawklord · **Joined:** Thu Aug 17, 2006 10:27 pm **Posts:** 3115

Thank you. :grin:

BritishWestHpool · **Joined:** Thu Aug 17, 2006 11:35 pm **Posts:** 1243

Whats that tennis racket doing on your keyboard?

Gibsons Beard · **Posted:** Wed Oct 31, 2007 11:32 am

Not sure about that sh1tty tan colour Kev, you seem to have an obsession with that colour

P.M.T. · **Joined:** Mon Jul 02, 2007 2:14 pm **Posts:** 968

BritishWestHpool wrote:

Whats that tennis racket doing on your keyboard?

That's not a tennis racket it's a cockroache whacker!!!!!! :laugh:

Montpoolier · **Posted:** Wed Oct 31, 2007 12:17 pm

gravedisorder wrote:

Not sure about that sh1tty tan colour Kev, you seem to have an obsession with that colour

gremmlin · **Joined:** Fri Oct 05, 2007 9:23 am **Posts:** 3141

Pooliekev wrote:

my new fantastic three in one Hewlett Packard 3-in-1 printer copier scanner rig out!! The bobs dollocks it is, does owt at the touch of a button!! :grin:

Guess how much?? :grin:

exactly the same as the one stood useless on my garage shelf[you cant just dump them]
had it about 18 months
it was brilliant for the first three
then never worked again

Gibsons Beard · **Posted:** Wed Oct 31, 2007 1:18 pm

gremmlin wrote:

exactly the same as the one stood useless on my garage shelf[you cant just dump them]
had it about 18 months
it was brilliant for the first three
then never worked again

They are pretty naff. Im sure Kev must have been forced at gunpoint to take it. I once offered mine to a homeless gadgie and he told me to f*ck off!

Mr Ripper · **Posted:** Wed Oct 31, 2007 1:20 pm

Pooliekev wrote:

my new fantastic three in one Hewlett Packard 3-in-1 printer copier scanner rig out!! The bobs dollocks it is, does owt at the touch of a button!!

Sounds promising.

I might have to buy one, worth a few quid of anybody's money if it does owt at the touch of a button.

Before I do, tell me which button you press for it to suck you off.

And which button puts the wife on "mute".

Salty · **Posted:** Wed Oct 31, 2007 1:28 pm

Pingu's fatter in China

Spender · **Posted:** Wed Oct 31, 2007 2:06 pm

MadJohn wrote:

I was about to try to come up with some oh-so-witty putdown until I realised it looks exactly the same model as mine*. Cost me about 40 notes.

*Except mine scans from bottom left, not top left. Is that a Chinese thing, or are you about to balls your scanning up

No I've got Chinese letter paper in it not A4.

Spender · **Posted:** Wed Oct 31, 2007 2:13 pm

Mr Ripper wrote:

Pooliekev wrote:

my new fantastic three in one Hewlett Packard 3-in-1 printer copier scanner rig out!! The bobs dollocks it is, does owt at the touch of a button!!

Before I do, tell me which button you press for it to suck you off.

And which button puts the wife on "mute".

Thanks but I don't want it to suck me off. If you want it to suck YOU off, you press the button marked 'Tigga.'

The button that puts the wife on mute is the one that hits her first when you hurl it at her across the room.

But she'll really kick your head right off...... :grin:

Spender · **Posted:** Wed Oct 31, 2007 2:15 pm

P.M.T. wrote:

BritishWestHpool wrote:

Whats that tennis racket doing on your keyboard?

That's not a tennis racket it's a cockroache whacker!!!!!! :laugh:

Mosquitocutor!!!!! :roll:

Spender · **Posted:** Wed Oct 31, 2007 2:20 pm

gremmlin wrote:

had it about 18 months it was brilliant for the first three then never worked again

Sounds not unlike your school report........ :evil:

Spender · **Posted:** Wed Oct 31, 2007 2:24 pm

gravedisorder wrote:

[ Im sure Kev must have been forced at gunpoint to take it. I once offered my arse to a homeless gadgie and he told me to f*ck off!

I can assure you that I have never been violated at gunpoint or any other way, Mr Grave, Sir.......I hope you coped with the knockback in a stoical fashion...... :sweeeet:

Gibsons Beard · **Posted:** Wed Oct 31, 2007 2:54 pm

Pooliekev wrote:

gravedisorder wrote:

[ Im sure Kev must have been forced at gunpoint to take it. I once offered my arse to a homeless gadgie and he told me to f*ck off!

I can assure you that I have never been violated at gunpoint or any other way, Mr Grave, Sir.......I hope you coped with the knockback in a stoical fashion...... :sweeeet:

gremmlin · **Joined:** Fri Oct 05, 2007 9:23 am **Posts:** 3141

is that a bent screw driver on your desk ?

Spender · **Posted:** Wed Oct 31, 2007 4:53 pm

Ermmm...no!! :grin:

It's a memory stick. :sweeeet:

gremmlin · **Joined:** Fri Oct 05, 2007 9:23 am **Posts:** 3141

a bent memory stick ?

Spender · **Posted:** Wed Oct 31, 2007 4:59 pm

No, the 'bent' bit is the string which is attached to the end of it. :laugh:

gremmlin · **Joined:** Fri Oct 05, 2007 9:23 am **Posts:** 3141

bent string?
see you are still pushing the porn out then
suppose it helps to buy furniture and stuff

Basil Fawlty · **Posted:** Wed Oct 31, 2007 9:38 pm

Have you got a chair to go with it ?

Basil Fawlty · **Posted:** Wed Oct 31, 2007 10:43 pm

Gibsons Beard · **Posted:** Thu Nov 01, 2007 12:43 am

What is that magazine you are scanning there kev? I cant quite make it out

Spender · **Posted:** Thu Nov 01, 2007 4:33 am

It's the darlo matchday magazine. :grin:

townendtimmy · **Posted:** Thu Nov 01, 2007 2:16 pm

Whats that penguin thing kev

a fan, a heater or a fan heater.

Spender · **Posted:** Fri Nov 02, 2007 3:19 am

It's a real penguin, one of the rare breeds of tropical penguin. Penguinnus chinkibobo. :wink:

Snowy · **Joined:** Fri Aug 18, 2006 12:18 pm **Posts:** 36940

Kev's bought 'new technology'
it can do 'anything'
but his first attempt at egg and chips
were cosigned to the bin.

Off went kev in anger
to contest the salesmans patter,
he came back home believing him
and tried cockroach in batter.

Spender · **Posted:** Fri Nov 02, 2007 2:52 pm

Snowy was a sailor,
He sailed the seven seas,
But when he came back into port,
He was riddled with disease.

It wasn't the food that got him,
Nor was it dusky bewers,
Regrettably what clapped him up,
Was Amsterdam male whoo-ers. :grin:

Mr Ripper · **Posted:** Fri Nov 02, 2007 2:56 pm

Pooliekev wrote:

Snowy was a sailor,
He sailed the seven seas,
But when he came back into port,
He was riddled with disease.

It wasn't the food that got him,
Nor was it dusky bewers,
Regrettably what clapped him up,
Was Amsterdam male whoo-ers. :grin:

grabec · **Posted:** Fri Nov 02, 2007 2:57 pm

Ooooooh good. An ode war. The Bunker can do with pepping up a bit lately :grin:

Miss Tigga · **Posted:** Fri Nov 02, 2007 3:01 pm

Pooliekev wrote:

Snowy was a sailor,
He sailed the seven seas,
But when he came back into port,
He was riddled with disease.

It wasn't the food that got him,
Nor was it dusky bewers,
Regrettably what clapped him up,
Was Amsterdam male whoo-ers. :grin:

Quality

gremmlin · **Joined:** Fri Oct 05, 2007 9:23 am **Posts:** 3141

see sitting in a tan chair has given him renewed strength
brilliant come back from our chinese embassador

gremmlin · **Joined:** Fri Oct 05, 2007 9:23 am **Posts:** 3141

gremmlin wrote:

see sitting in a tan chair has given him renewed strength
brilliant come back from our chinese embassador

this could be as good as Abdul and Ivan

Snowy · **Joined:** Fri Aug 18, 2006 12:18 pm **Posts:** 36940

Pooliekev wrote:

Snowy was a sailor,
He sailed the seven seas,
But when he came back into port,
He was riddled with disease.

It wasn't the food that got him,
Nor was it dusky bewers,
Regrettably what clapped him up,
Was Amsterdam male whoo-ers. :grin:

"Ah, that night in Amsterdam,
thank God for medication,
I should have stayed on board that night
and stuck to mast...repairs... :shock:

I'll swear it was a woman,
till the day I die I will.
But the the owner of the club jus laughed.
"you've just 'met' Shangai Lil..."

"SHANGAI LIL !!" I shouted,
I thought she seemed ... quite wierd.
"Oh her real names Kev from Artlepool"
"WELL THAT EXPLAINS THE BEARD" :laugh:

I then tried for a refund,
but that was not the norm,
He paid them it turned out,
but they needed chlorofrom!

Montpoolier · **Posted:** Fri Nov 02, 2007 6:01 pm

If only you would spread your seeds around more modestly
And stick to just one shag a night instead of two or three
You'd find yourself with much more time to invest in discretion
And verify the person's sex BEFORE you start the session!

Snowy · **Joined:** Fri Aug 18, 2006 12:18 pm **Posts:** 36940

When I met up with Shangai Lil,
I thought that it was wierd.
But it wasn't the sideburns that threw me,
it was the tidy beard.

I've been with worse, though I can't think when,
but there was a lack of 'bits'.
I don't mean odds and sods here,
I'm talking womens tits.

When they told me who Lil really was,
I said "What, Kev transgender?"
He decided to rearrange his life
...an accident with a blender :wink:

So if you see old Shangai Lil and the face
is rather frightening,
Try again after 15 pints,
in dodgy disco lighting.

He gives stamps as well :laugh:

gremmlin · **Joined:** Fri Oct 05, 2007 9:23 am **Posts:** 3141

worked bloody hard on that one snowman clappp

Snowy · **Joined:** Fri Aug 18, 2006 12:18 pm **Posts:** 36940

can't concentrate... babysitting :laugh:

MutleyRules · **Posted:** Sat Nov 03, 2007 6:41 pm

I feel sorry for the baby you are sat on!!!! confised

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