Quips and quotations - some sporting

Bluestreak · **Posted:** Sat Jun 13, 2020 3:04 pm

"Have you heard the news?" the shopkeeper said. "Keegans been killed in a freak accident. He was walking across the Tyne and the Shields Ferry hit him"

Bluestreak · **Posted:** Sat Jun 13, 2020 3:08 pm

The secret of missing a tree is to aim straight at it. (The art of golf)

Bluestreak · **Posted:** Sat Jun 13, 2020 6:52 pm

Don't mention the war.

Bluestreak · **Posted:** Sun Jun 14, 2020 11:50 am

The chap over there is having soup and it sounds delicious. Morecambe and Wise.

derwent · **Joined:** Wed Jun 24, 2009 7:59 pm **Posts:** 12367

If God wanted football to be played in the air, he would have put grass in the sky.....Brian Clough.

accrington fan · **Joined:** Wed Jan 20, 2016 3:22 pm **Posts:** 19769

television is something you can watch in your living room but would not want near your house. groucho marx.

derwent · **Joined:** Wed Jun 24, 2009 7:59 pm **Posts:** 12367

If me auntie had balls she'd be me uncle.

Bluestreak · **Posted:** Mon Jun 15, 2020 5:58 pm

Tony Blair is only Bill Clinton with his zip done up. Neil Hamilton.

Bluestreak · **Posted:** Tue Jun 16, 2020 11:20 am

Lazy? He used to ride his bike on the cobblestones to knock the ash off his ciggie. Les Dawson.

Sussex UK · **Joined:** Wed Dec 28, 2016 10:34 pm **Posts:** 3554

Bluestreak wrote:

Lazy? He used to ride his bike on the cobblestones to knock the ash off his ciggie. Les Dawson.

Bluestreak · **Posted:** Wed Jun 17, 2020 11:01 am

Hard work pays off in the future.
Laziness pays off now.

Mr Irrelevant · **Joined:** Thu Aug 17, 2006 8:25 pm **Posts:** 22669

We’re a successful recruitment company and we want to develop the business in the North East.

Bluestreak · **Posted:** Thu Jun 18, 2020 12:42 pm

A banks is a place that will lend you money if you can prove you dont need it. Bob Hope

derwent · **Joined:** Wed Jun 24, 2009 7:59 pm **Posts:** 12367

The walls in our street were that thin, I opened the oven door one day and caught the bloke next door dipping his bread in our gravy. Les Dawson.

Bluestreak · **Posted:** Sun Jun 21, 2020 10:31 am

You sit back and we move the scenery - Of QE2 Alan Whicker

Bluestreak · **Posted:** Tue Jun 23, 2020 8:53 am

By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
Airplane Fillum.

accrington fan · **Joined:** Wed Jan 20, 2016 3:22 pm **Posts:** 19769

yes i,m broke. for a month i,ve been shaking two nickets together in my pocket in the hope that they,ll mate. raymond chandler.

accrington fan · **Joined:** Wed Jan 20, 2016 3:22 pm **Posts:** 19769

if shakespeare really is the pinacle of english literature then why do people make more money out of books written to allow you to understand it.

ed-t-ball · **Posted:** Thu Jun 25, 2020 12:21 pm

Mr Irrelevant wrote:

We’re a successful recruitment company and we want to develop the business in the North East.

Bluestreak · **Posted:** Fri Jun 26, 2020 3:10 pm

I love the smell of methane in the morning.

Bluestreak · **Posted:** Sat Jun 27, 2020 3:23 pm

Life is like a shit sandwich, the more bread you have the less shit you eat. Bog wall Tiger Cottingham.

Quips and quotations - some sporting

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