The Poolie Bunker

....has anyone got any tips on why my fucking printer wont work?
Because in half an hours time I'm gonna stamp all over the fucking thing til its smashed into tiny little pieces
Its probably a shit one, it didnt cost much
Basically I'm trying to print out my first three chapters x 6, plus assorted stuff x 6 to send to agents.
It worked fine last week, printed stuff out dead good, on good quality paper.
Then it stopped working - or the black ink did.
I've just spent 6o-odd quid on five new black ink cartridges off the net, waited for days for them to arrive, thinking the last ones must have used up quickly but these ones arent working either.
The colour prints out fine but the black hardly shows at all, maybe two faded lines on a whole page
I've cleaned the thingybobs, aligned and all that, loads of times - no difference.
Over two years of damn hard work on this novel and I've never had a problem with the printer before and now the black ink bits fucked
Its a lexmark cheap printer
Do I need to get another one and if so, what type? (text only on the whole)
This printer will not survive the night if it carries on like this.
I'm begging

I'm no expert like but I think you must be asking too much from it.

Your computer sends stuff down to it's buffer memory which from what you say will be quite small. Send less down at a time and it might be OK.

I've tried one page at a time, two pages etc Kev.
I'm not trying to print all this stuff off in one go.
It wont even print out black on the test page correctly
I think its fucked basically and I prob need to buy another one but I have no idea which one to buy, have just spent sixty quid on ink and will have to scrounge the money off my girlfriends overdraft
Also havent got a clue on what printer to buy so I can get decent priced ink.
I only want to print off text on the whole.

It might sound stupid but did you get the right ink cartridges. I have a Lexmark 3 in 1 printer and i know that they have lots of different types of cartridges, they all have different numbers.

If worst comes to the worst you could always uninstall it then reinstall it

This is the one I have, it is a printer, photocopier and scanner all in one and I have never had any problems with it

This is a canny price as well, I think I paid clsoe to £100 for mine a year or so ago

http://www.luzerntech.com/items/LTS-P62500-005

try this

printers ands fax in control panel

make sure your printer is there for a start

if so right click and you should get option for printing preferences.

cancel all prints in the queue - this can take some time so be patient.

when nothng in there get your printer out have a good look at (you have already done this i know) make sure that your cartridges are in properly.
try a different USB port for your printer, try a different power lead unless it uses a power pack (most do) then you may not be able to do that,

try printing just one page

if nothing works - make sure you have the cdrom with the drivers on for it and unistall software

reboot

reinstall software

connect

go online and follow the PDF guide for it - it should have one and take it from there

if this dont work whack the model in google

"HP3100" +"printing problems"

exactly like that - gives a specific search and should help

failing that it's fooked....

It sounds like the Printer Head as opposed to the cartridge itself. Probably got gunked up on the black ink. I had a cleaner cartridge for mine that helped un-gunk it. Failing that, if it's out of warranty try cleaning the actual print head with a cotton bud with suitable solvent (Nail Varnish Remover is good if there's a lady or "Laydeeeee" in the house) and it might save your bacon....

Right, tried most except rebooting. Not sure where cd is
Got some nail varnish and ear buds.The nail varnish is acetate free. Does that matter?
Now sorry for being thick but where is the actual print head? What does it look like?
I take it its a long bit inside that runs the length of the breadth of the paper?
Is it like a flat black band? Or an almost transparent one?
(I do appreciate the help folks ta)

download the pdf guide from the makers site
that should tell you all
download the drivers for it from their site too.

Prob not a great difference with the acetate-free, but it's NAIL VARNISH REMOVER, right, not Nail Varnish! That'd do more harm than good....

The Cartridges will no doubt be on some sort of assembly that shoots back and forth when doing the printing. The Print Head should be on there on the side that faces the paper. The aim is to try and clean of any gunk that's accumulated.

The other thing to look at is cleaning the connectors - link attached - as it might be them.

Best of British!

http://support.lexmark.com/cgi-perl/kno ... =ENUS19410

Also look at this....

http://support.lexmark.com/cgi-perl/kno ... elevance=1

You say your colour is printing fine, but are you sure none of the colour cartidges needs replacing? We recently got a new printer and for some reason ALL the colour cartidges need to be full in order for the black to work.

Totally sympathise as printers have me demented at times. If the worst comes to the worst and you have a deadline, I'll try printing your chapters if you want to send me a disc?

thanks for the help folks
Tried everything suggested but it still doesnt work.
In the end I tried punching it twice very hard but that didnt seem to work either. My hand's a bit sore and I went to bed in a huff.
Dont like buying from rip-off shops like PC World but going there today armed with the girlfriend and her overdraft, hoping to buy a printer that will use my hundred quids worth of ink. I really dont want to wait a week for a new one to arrive.
Then tonight I'm going out to see Stiff Little Fingers at the Academy

to be honest i would forsake the ink and buy an epson printer although this may seem madness if you are going to use the printer a fair bit it will be more cost efficient to be able to replace the epson cartridges at a fraction of the lexmarks.
another tip if you do go for an epson stick to original epson cartridges i was buying sets of "compatibles" and they last about a quarter of the time of the originals so you are buying 4 sets to 1 which takes away any savings.
also the epson 3 in 1s are very good printer scanner and copier all in one

Don't buy epson they habitually clog up the heads, buy a hewlett packard much better choice.