The Poolie Bunker

I'm currently having a debate with my ex who is writing all the current spate of stories in the Express. It started with me asking her why she was so farking obsessed with it. Anyway, after about a dozen emails back and forth I've found this list of potential killers;



1. Prince Charles killed her, for obvious reasons.

2. Queen Elizabeth killed her, if only to save the millions of pounds which she was having to pay to Diana just to go away.

3. Almost any member of the British Royal Family or any admirer of the British Royal Family killed her.

4. A Member of Parliament killed her to save taxpayer's pounds.

5. The seven photographers who were chasing her on motorcycles at the time of her death killed her, knowing that a photograph of Diana dead would be worth more than a photo of Diana alive, and that all existing photos of Diana would greatly increase in value with her death.

6. A Black-Turbaned Ayatollah of Iran put out a fatwa against her and her boyfriend because she was a Christian woman fornicating with a Muslim man, in violation of the laws of the Koran.

7. God killed her to show the world what happens to a woman who commits adultery. See Deuteronomy 22:22

8. Diana killed herself and deserved to die because of her self-indulgent life style.

9. Her boyfriend's driver killed her.

10. One of her ex-lovers killed her because she would not give head. (Nobody has ever publicly stated whether Diana gives head or not. However, a woman who does not give head is clearly more likely to be killed by a frustrated lover than one who does.)

11. This was all part of a plot or conspiracy to kill her. The plan was that Diana alone would die. The plan went awry and the boyfriend and the driver were killed by accident.

.... The list goes on. I will add to this list as I receive suggestions, of which I am sure that there will be many, until we get down to the last item on the list, which will be:

1001. Princess Diana was killed in a car accident.

Anybody who wants to vote on this would be welcome.

Now you really are getting into the realms of fantasy.


I wonder if Monty drives a slightly damaged Fiat Uno

You and half of the Household Cavalry.

Who gives a shit anyway!?!? :?

Just let the lady RIP!!!! :cry:

A friend of mine, an Englishwoman, was employed at the Paris Ritz at the time of the accident. She was a confirmed fan of the Royals, especially Diana. A lot of the other employees were friends of Henri Paul the chauffeur.

She never openly blamed anyone for the accident, but the other staff did openly blame Diana for coming along to their hotel getting their friend killed. And it sort of turned into my friend's fault by proxy.
Job relations went seriously downhill for her after that. I'm not sure what became of her in the end.
All I know is I never had her.

Yes but not for reasons of doing in Diana !!

12. it was colonel mustard in the library with the candlestick

13. it was the owner of the daily express trying to sell papers for the next 10 years

14. it was the editor of hello/ok/daily mail insert any other name due to above reason

Precisely Muttley

or the best one - she's still alive and living on the same island as Elvis and John Lennon. And Adolf Hitler.

ach who cares ??

didn't like her so no loss to me - but if it were an accident it were an accident, if it were a 'spy' plot then more the better - no one player is bigger than this club.

Is Lord Lucan there as well?

Apparently he enjoys galloping around on Shergar

WHO CARES... it was wailing buffoons with the flowers who did my head in.