The Poolie Bunker

A bunch of seriouly pissed off Hartlepool United fans..
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 Post subject: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Sat Oct 18, 2025 7:05 am 
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Ratboy woke me up , he wanted to go out for a wee wee at 2,34 in the morning, as I eyed my beloved little digital clock in despair.
Opened the back door and let the Viking dog out into the back garden, which is on two levels and too big…waited 10 minutes and went to the back door, whistled and home comes the hero with a recently deceased hedgehog in his terrier grasp which he refused to part with point blank…not in a mood to negotiate, I turned on the garden hose and ‘watered’ the bugger down till he parted company……I then removed the deceased, stumbled down to the bottom of the garden to put it in the incinerator with some wood and fired it up after….. a small service….dried the murderer after washing the git and returned to bed nearly an hour later….the wife asking me in a sleepy voice if he ‘wanted a little wee’.
An understatement.

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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Sat Oct 18, 2025 10:51 am 
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Forensics team expected shortly, Think its known as covering ones tracks. lol


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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Sat Oct 18, 2025 11:51 am 
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When I read the thread title, I thought Snowy had managed to get rid of our chairman and was asking for advice on how to dispose of the body.

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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Sat Oct 18, 2025 12:35 pm 
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One of the reasons I wouldn’t buy Ratboy a season ticket, hates authority figures….well the window cleaner…..

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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Sat Oct 18, 2025 12:40 pm 
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Stocksfield_Poolie wrote:
When I read the thread title, I thought Snowy had managed to get rid of our chairman and was asking for advice on how to dispose of the body.

If he wanders down our bottom garden in the middle off the night when Ratboy’s leaving a deposit ….I might find out….but an unlikely scenario admittedly ……..but…..

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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Sat Oct 18, 2025 1:37 pm 
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Would the incinerator be large enough to get him in? Or would you need some help? Asking for a friend.


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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Sat Oct 18, 2025 1:41 pm 
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It's big enough!

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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Sun Oct 19, 2025 6:38 am 
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The wife would probably like it in a different colour……I had to spend yesterday making a new gate to stop the little bugger getting down the bottom garden, looked like a scene from a wartime POW film as he stood baffled by the gate, looking for another way down.
‘When we got him …the vet told us when you cross an intelligent dog with a belligerent villain you get an evil genius.
I wouldn’t have him any other way’

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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Sun Oct 19, 2025 9:21 am 
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This is a great plot for next Wallace and Gromit.


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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Sun Oct 19, 2025 9:43 am 
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Elephant Rock wrote:
Would the incinerator be large enough to get him in? Or would you need some help? Asking for a friend.

Nah, unless possessing the dimensions of an Elf…

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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Sun Oct 19, 2025 10:59 am 
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Snowy wrote:
The wife would probably like it in a different colour……I had to spend yesterday making a new gate to stop the little bugger getting down the bottom garden, looked like a scene from a wartime POW film as he stood baffled by the gate, looking for another way down.
‘When we got him …the vet told us when you cross an intelligent dog with a belligerent villain you get an evil genius.
I wouldn’t have him any other way’


Sounds like he should be in a Bond fillum


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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Sun Oct 19, 2025 11:01 am 
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Snowy wrote:
The wife would probably like it in a different colour……I had to spend yesterday making a new gate to stop the little bugger getting down the bottom garden, looked like a scene from a wartime POW film as he stood baffled by the gate, looking for another way down.
‘When we got him …the vet told us when you cross an intelligent dog with a belligerent villain you get an evil genius.
I wouldn’t have him any other way’


When you were making said gate, Did RatBoy have a wry smile on his face.


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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Sun Oct 19, 2025 11:03 am 
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Grayhoundend wrote:
Snowy wrote:
The wife would probably like it in a different colour……I had to spend yesterday making a new gate to stop the little bugger getting down the bottom garden, looked like a scene from a wartime POW film as he stood baffled by the gate, looking for another way down.
‘When we got him …the vet told us when you cross an intelligent dog with a belligerent villain you get an evil genius.
I wouldn’t have him any other way’


Sounds like he should be in a Bond fillum

or a star in the new autumn watch.


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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Sun Oct 19, 2025 11:51 am 
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I hope you were suitably dressed !

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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Sun Oct 19, 2025 11:54 am 
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Grayhoundend wrote:
Snowy wrote:
The wife would probably like it in a different colour……I had to spend yesterday making a new gate to stop the little bugger getting down the bottom garden, looked like a scene from a wartime POW film as he stood baffled by the gate, looking for another way down.
‘When we got him …the vet told us when you cross an intelligent dog with a belligerent villain you get an evil genius.
I wouldn’t have him any other way’


When you were making said gate, Did RatBoy have a wry smile on his face.

He’s always got a wry smile on his face.
To quote my good lady wife…..” the little bugger will get out somehow, look, he’s eyeing it up”.

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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Sun Oct 19, 2025 12:02 pm 
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Bluestreak wrote:
I hope you were suitably dressed !

I’m prepared for it….boots, pants, fleece and low expectations…a bit like life.

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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Sun Oct 19, 2025 12:42 pm 
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This thread needs a photo of your sly, evil but clever dog...

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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Sun Oct 19, 2025 3:45 pm 
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Here you are


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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Sun Oct 19, 2025 6:18 pm 
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A woman walking 2 labradors outside our house lost control of her dogs seeing one of our cats and was pulled over and snapped part of our fence a few months back ........I've heard nothing about payment.,,should i let it go or contact the police ??


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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Mon Oct 20, 2025 3:07 pm 
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Hoy, it wan’t Ratboy disguised as a Labrador…I think :confusion-confused:

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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2025 10:22 am 
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Every time I see this Subject Header I think that it must be a thread following the appointment of Receivers to Clarence 18 Limited....


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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2025 10:25 am 
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Sussex UK wrote:
A woman walking 2 labradors outside our house lost control of her dogs seeing one of our cats and was pulled over and snapped part of our fence a few months back ........I've heard nothing about payment.,,should i let it go or contact the police ??

only bother with the police unless the barking dogs abused your fence on line.


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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2025 1:32 pm 
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Sussex UK wrote:
A woman walking 2 labradors outside our house lost control of her dogs seeing one of our cats and was pulled over and snapped part of our fence a few months back ........I've heard nothing about payment.,,should i let it go or contact the police ??

They’ll charge your cat with either incitement or soliciting… :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2025 2:40 pm 
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Thanks for the photo Snowy. :animals-dogrun:

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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2025 3:43 pm 
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In that photo he was mooning a fox in the field.

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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2025 3:46 pm 
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Nice view from the window, where is it overlooking?

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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2025 3:49 pm 
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My estate on the Rhine.

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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2025 3:59 pm 
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Would that make your dog a Jagdterrier then?

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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2025 4:11 pm 
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:lol: :lol: I once told a gormless couple of visitors with Home Counties accents at Lymington he was a Norwegian Terrier..they believed me and the wife gave me grief.

The picture was taken at Greystoke in the Lake District, that we visit now and then.

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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2025 4:15 pm 
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Anywhere near Nicky Richards stables?

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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2025 4:20 pm 
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Stocksfield_Poolie wrote:
Anywhere near Nicky Richards stables?

I honestly wouldn’t know…come off the A66 and up to the Greystoke estate and a couple of miles to peace and paradise.

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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2025 4:26 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2025 5:03 pm 
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Yes, it’s on the back toad down to Penrith, now I know…asked the wife she kept me right.

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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Fri Oct 24, 2025 4:40 am 
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My mate died here a couple of months ago, heart attack, 78 years old, his lady made the arrangements for his funeral, I went along to the Temple, coffin next to the furnace, we were invited up to have a last look then the lid was put on, we had to manhandle the coffin into the furnace which was fuelled by coke. His lady and friends went back the next day for what I thought would be the ashes, nope the full skeleton, I seen the photo His skeleton got transported to a Temple with bone crushing facilities in a taxi where it was crushed before his ashes were scattered in the sea.
On a side note he didn’t leave a Will, Thai or English, he has a small condo here and one in the U.K. both going through probate which his daughter has to sort out, going to cost 1000s.


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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Fri Oct 24, 2025 9:09 am 
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Did it involve an hedgehog…?

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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Fri Oct 24, 2025 11:23 am 
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Snowy wrote:
Did it involve an hedgehog…?


The topic was Disposing of the Body, it doesn’t necessary say it had to be a hedgehog although they don’t have hedgehogs here so I substituted a human body for a hedgehog.


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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Fri Oct 24, 2025 12:58 pm 
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Read all the posts then.

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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Fri Oct 24, 2025 1:38 pm 
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Snowy wrote:
Read all the posts then.


I read the topic Disposing of a Dead Body, as I said it didn’t necessarily say it was a hedgehog, next time make the topic Disposing of a Dead Hedgehog then there won’t be any confusion.


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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Fri Oct 24, 2025 1:42 pm 
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jamie1952 wrote:
Snowy wrote:
Read all the posts then.


I read the topic Disposing of a Dead Body, as I said it didn’t necessarily say it was a hedgehog, next time make the topic Disposing of a Dead Hedgehog then there won’t be any confusion.



Prickly





Oh Dear.


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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Fri Oct 24, 2025 3:02 pm 
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jamie1952 wrote:
Snowy wrote:
Read all the posts then.


I read the topic Disposing of a Dead Body, as I said it didn’t necessarily say it was a hedgehog, next time make the topic Disposing of a Dead Hedgehog then there won’t be any confusion.

Did you read my first post…obviously not, as it clearly stated hedgehog.
You’re just being silly and pedantic…..and tetchy. :roll:

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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Sat Oct 25, 2025 4:28 am 
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Snowy wrote:
jamie1952 wrote:
Snowy wrote:
Read all the posts then.


I read the topic Disposing of a Dead Body, as I said it didn’t necessarily say it was a hedgehog, next time make the topic Disposing of a Dead Hedgehog then there won’t be any confusion.

Did you read my first post…obviously not, as it clearly stated hedgehog.
You’re just being silly and pedantic…..and tetchy. :roll:


The Topic was an open topic, a hedgehog not mentioned till the first post, you just don’t like being proved wrong Snowy, anyway i have enjoyed the banter.


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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Sat Oct 25, 2025 6:06 am 
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Of course you did…there, there….. :roll:


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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Sat Oct 25, 2025 12:00 pm 
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Snowy wrote:
Of course you did…there, there….. :roll:


Dear me Snowy, is that a self portrait, you really need to see a dentist.


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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Sat Oct 25, 2025 12:47 pm 
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jamie1952 wrote:
Snowy wrote:
Of course you did…there, there….. :roll:


Dear me Snowy, is that a self portrait, you really need to see a dentist.

You actually, I drew it myself…captures you nicely.

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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Sun Oct 26, 2025 12:47 pm 
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Snowy can you send it to the Thai embassy for comment.

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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Sun Oct 26, 2025 12:58 pm 
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I think you have missed a trick here Snowy!

I thought, (and this is no disrespect to Jamie, as I am sure he will take it in the fun humour it is intended), that you were going to say it was a drawing of his Thai wife (ladyboy)! :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Sun Oct 26, 2025 1:10 pm 
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Hot off the press….,


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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Sun Oct 26, 2025 1:17 pm 
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Class!!! :clap:

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 Post subject: Re: Disposing of the body.
PostPosted: Sun Oct 26, 2025 2:24 pm 
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The honeymoon cruise wasn’t exactly a bundle of laughs.


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