The Poolie Bunker

...T.V. One that irritates me immensely, is the one set in what appears to be communist china where the regimented masses in their chairman Mao suits are 'liberated' with the arrival of .....hair mousse
........ or, the Quorn advert where the teenage daughter is 'annoyed' because all the rest of the cheerful family start eating it and sulks, shouts, screams and threatens her brother with a fork for eating it .... the message I get back is.... Quorn makes you unabalanced

if you seen what some of the harvesting plant "technicians" did with the stuff about fifteen years ago, I'm amazed it ever left ICI's research site.

I worked on the Quorn 1 fermenter (the old Pruteen Pilot Plant) at ICI's Research site on Billingham for ten years, the fermentation liquors were filtered under vacuum, and the Quorn paste collected was transported to Stokesley where the texturing/flavouring/packaging still takes place to this day. It is a typical fermentation industry-style process, these days the volumes they produce are massive - the fermentation and dewatering plants are now based on the old Pruteen site (now Belasis Site), and they no longer have anything to do with the company I work for (Avecia). We have our own manufacturing assets on that site but we still provide Quorn 2 and 3, and the associated Effluent Treatment Plant with a lot of the site services.

...anyone work on the Chinese No 3 hair mousse and styling gel plant...?

You mean Quorn's made from effluent??

Who's have guessed it??

It'd be easier to cut the middle man out and just eat shit. More taste too.

..unless you've been eating Quorn and it'll just become a constant cycle...

a few people over the years have made the comment that Quorn is made from effluent (even though it isn't)
The process entails the monoseptic (i.e. sterile) fermentation of a single isolated strain of microorganism (Fusarium Graminearum Schwabe)which is a microscopic plant, and a member of the fungus family. The fermentation process requires sterile media to be fed into the fermenter vessel continuously, while culture is drawn off the fermenter offtake leg for RNA reduction and dewatering. The fementation parameters are tightly controlled to avoid killing the organism while it is still inside the fermenter. The dry cell weight is maintained at a constant value to facilitate in turn easy control of the fermentation parameters. The culture from the fermenter offtake leg is then killed by injection of steam, which also destroys the RNA within the cells (to remove the possibility of getting gout when you've eaten it). The culture is then centrifuged and the Quiorn paste is collected, chilled and sent to Stokesley for final processing. Basically the fermentation solids are pure protein.
The liquors from the centrifuge are transferred to the Effluent Treatment Plant to remove all the nutrients from the liquors, prior to pumping the resultant clarified water into the Tees.

So if you substitute 'stomach' for fermentation vessel, 'kidneys' for fermentation offtake leg, 'arse' for centrifuge and 'bog' for the Tees (which countless people have done for decades).....................

I must not use fancy words on the Bunker
I must not use fancy words on the Bunker
I must not use fancy words on the Bunker
I must not use fancy words on the Bunker
I must not use fancy words on the Bunker
I must not use fancy words on the Bunker
I must not use fancy words on the Bunker
I must not use fancy words on the Bunker
I must not use fancy words on the Bunker
I must not use fancy words on the Bunker
I must not use fancy words on the Bunker
I must not use fancy words on the Bunker
I must not use fancy words on the Bunker
I must not use fancy words on the Bunker
I must not use fancy words on the Bunker
I must not use fancy words on the Bunker
I must not use fancy words on the Bunker
I must not use fancy words on the Bunker
I must not use fancy words on the Bunker
I must not use fancy words on the Bunker
I must not use fancy words on the Bunker

Serves you right Parmo. It must have taken you a while to write all of that out..................................















The 'lines' I mean

I have it on good authority that peanut butter was originally made from effluent, invented by the Dutch (Shell). Maybe it still is made from effluent.

How good is the authority?? Only I quite like it for breakfast but if it's from the same stamp as Quorn, I'm going back to bacon sarnies after 20 years!!

Not that good now you ask, but he was definitely Dutch!

Well I've spent the last hour sniffing ours and I can't track down any digestive tract odours so I'll postpone the piggy for another day!!

Maybe the Dutchman was just talking effluent eh??

Just how did we go from banal adverts to Kev sniffing his peanut butter for traces of Dutch crap......
ONLY ONE BOARD CAN DO THIS........................sadly

as long as its only his peanut butter he's sniffing!!

talking of peanut butter, anyone noticed that sunpats "new improved taste" is actually cack diddly and waaaay worse than its old deliciousness?!





our son pat......

..that'll be 'new improved healthy eating' etc, etc, which roughly translated means tasteless and not worth eating

Strange how the most unpleasant bodily functions can be very pleasurable. I mean is there anything that feels better than unloading when you are at bursting point in the watery or semi solid department.

I suppose it beats it ' backing up' and coming out of your mouth ....

but its sweeter and horrid, i blame the yanks!
no i do, yet another way in which they are trying to americanise us. the SWINE's








......is a bit nifty with a bat

this clearly demonstrates that not everybody who does a certain job, does it to the same standards as the next person. Obviously the marketing people at Volvo, and the people who approved the ad, are rubbish.

does your love only come...............................





























































...............in a vooooooooool-vooooooooooooooooooooooooooo