The Poolie Bunker

I'd say the hardest job in football is refereeing but for some reason there's a reluctance to make the job easier for them. Assistant refs often do nothing other than offsides and ball out of play, they're either oblivious to any rule breaches or have been instructed to turn a blind eye. Why not make best use of them especially when they're now in constant contact with the ref via mics and earpieces?
VAR if used properly could rid the game overnight of all the wrestling matches in penalty areas at set pieces and of all the blatantly obvious cheating by wave of diving or pretending they've been hit. Instead VAR has just thrown clouds over the competence or lack of it by those operating the system.
I don't think there's so much a conspiracy to aid certain teams but I certainly think that too many times it seems that verifying the infield decision to protect the refs standing takes precedence over reaching the correct decision.
How can a push in the box be "not enough for a penalty" yet they're always enough for a free kick outside the box?