Tripe….why?
Kidney’s ……taste shite, smell shite and I refuse to eat anything an animal has peed through

When you do a 'magic' shit

You think ohh, think I need a dump- fetch some reading material as you might be a while and often the only time I get any peace from the kids and ball and chain.

Anyway you think you've left a reasonable effort, finished the crossword or legs have gone numb and need to extract yourself off the throne.

You stand up to wipe your arse, whilst admiring your offering to the pot- only to discover that the cable you thought you'd laid has mysteriously disappeared!

Just feel cheated- you've gone to all the effort, or you thought you did and all you got to show for it is a sit down piss!

If it didn't piss you off before - it will next time it happens!

Muslims

I can say that because its true and really don’t give a shit about offending anyone. I don’t trust a single musrat.

That did make me giggle Kettering

People who dont pick up their dog poo.

People in traffic jams going nowhere fast but still won't allow people to cross the road WHY? And why do cars fly about all over town to simply get home 5 mins quicker whilst endangering people's lives

Arabs in general.

They don,t get home 5 mins quicker, Lucky if its 30 secs.

Coaches who insist on playing out from the back, No variety = boring = predictable

And when they climb out of their over engineered German Bragwagon or knackered Cavalier, what they do with the time they’ve saved…..?

NO F£&KING FOOTBALL
The clues in the topic title.

Don,t you oppress me.

Tripe and onions cooked in milk with a slice of black pudding?i'd rather go hungry..It's the same lot who say they love super hot curries and chillies..it's all for attention.

The Sussexes ..Prince Andrew...anybody who drinks Fosters..

I like you really Mr G

Beggars outside of shops..GET A JOB!
And the gullible fools who feel sorry for them.

Coupled to this when you stand in dog shit- why is it that the shoe concerned is either brand new and/or has a tread on it like a snow tyre?!

Which then forces you to reluctantly use the wife's toothbrush to extract the really stubborn bits that boiling hot water won't shift. Your house then stinks of dog shit after you've steamed it off

Motorist in general, they remove their brain when they get behind a wheel, it’s a ‘global’ disease, no idea why you have to take a test because every thing in the test goes out the window after they get a licence.

One of them at bottom of ramp in shopping centre offered me a new £500 bike for £200.
Said he didn't like it and had lost the receipt to take it back to the shop.
Well Aye ya scruffy Baghead
No I didn't buy it.

My pet hate as well….mine are trained to do their crap early doors in one spot at the bottoms of the garden…… and my pockets are always full of poo bags before I go out…but the worst of all are those who put it in a bag then throw the bag away in long grass WHAT’S THE POINT!

Petrol prices on garage forecourts at £1.39.99..why not say £1.40…it’s pure marketing, because if it was based on the actual price the .99 of a penny would be variable too….the only people impressed are those so tight they count the cornflakes in the bowl when they pour them out.

People with extra large Suitcases in Train Station and on the underground, who just randomly stop in front of you or cut you up, also that are clearly to heavy for them to pull or carry.

Agreed, Uber Taxis I'm including in that too. A lot don't have UK Licences.

Our Scamp has his regular 3 dumps along Davison Drive but every deposit gets bagged up by me sons n put into the red bins.
Nowt but scum these owners who leave shit on the pavement.

women who are always late, wife cums well after i do

Mines all relate to flights.
Passengers who take over sized bags on a plane and try to fit them in the overhead locker so they don’t have to pay for a hold baggage fee albeit most airline now limit you to 7kg cabin baggage although some how some passengers manage to sneak a bag on.

Passengers who wear large rucksacks and knock every one behind them when walking down aisle.

Passengers who insist on unfastening their seat belt and stand up on a plane before it comes to a complete standstill and attempt to get their luggage out of the overhead locker, they are not going anywhere till the doors are open, if the aircraft braked suddenly they could fall or their bag could fall on another passenger injuring them.

Passengers who rush to board when the fight is called even though most planes board by zone, you have to wait till your zone is called, don’t they realise there are seats for everyone.

Passengers who don’t turn their electronic gizmos off during take off and landing when requested to irrespective even if they don’t affect the onboard electronics.

A few years back EasyJet didn’t allocate you seat on short haul flights, it was a stampede when boarding was called, I always waited till last to board.

And finally airlines now charging you for everything possible, some long haul flights are now charging for meals. You do a flight search get a decent price, you add hold luggage on usually about £40 more add ons if you want to book your seat etc. Ryanair are culpable of this if you don’t check in online they charge you £55 per person at the airport.

Constant emails, texts, phone calls telling you it's a government directive that you must have a smart meter fitted.

Waiting for the next batch as Shell have been bought out by Octopus.

I ask them do they understand the phonetic alphabet, if so -

FOXTROT OSCAR!

You want to try it with Rice Krispies, What a headache.

I would say the point is, Showing the whole world openly whats NOT between their ears.

I,d heard that!


JoeKing

If you must have a smart meter fitted, they’d do it and not be trying to persuade you to do it.
When they first started putting them in I naively agreed to have one fitted…took a day off work no ne turned up…three times this happened then I just ignored them after that..three days lost off my holiday location

Aren’t you being a bit premature in blaming the wife.

Lads who used to turn up late if you were car sharing for work more so a non driver, I very rarely car shared, preferred to be independent and I couldn’t blame any one else if I was late.
Used to be stories of non driver s who couldn’t understand why they had to give you petrol money as you were going to work anyway obviously they struggled for lift, other lads used to pay over odds for appreciation.

The smell of dog shit.
Thats why i have a goldfish.

Whenever I put fuel in at a station I always do my best to stop one pence short of a full pound and insist on the 1p change, they never offer to let you off with the 1p when you just go over!!!!

You've just about covered them all for me there mr j...and what about them irritants who have to use the toilet every 20 mins.up and down the aisles all time.

One of the best discisions in your life. Those things are evil/ steal your money / spy on you / cause cancer and that's just a few of the terrible negatives but can not think of any positives.

They build up a complete profile of you.
They can work out your daily timetable and how long before they can control your use of power to meet their demands and needs, not yours.

Her in doors just looked over my shoulder and asked me to reply to this thread. She said and I quote " Why do they put bloody football on instead of Coronation Street " She is well pisssed off.

Drums

One more kids sitting behind you kicking the back of your seat.

I need some times to use the toilet regularly, age thing that’s why I never drink alcohol before a flight and very little during the flight like water it just goes straight through me.
I always chose am aisle seat when I can because of this.

I hate flying, there’s no hard shoulder at 30,000 feet, yet ships, no matter how much pitching and rolling they do, don’t bother me in the least.
Flying is statistically the safest form of travel, but the survival rate when it does go wrong is virtually 100%……. I know someone who went on his first flight in a Vickers Viscount in the 70’s and asked the stewardess if the parachutes were under the seat.

town centres that either have no public toilets or shut them early and then you get a heavy fine if you go somewhere quiet to have a slash. really what are you expected to do.

and why do they also jump from 99 to 01 every time you use em but the amount you put in stays the same.

People who don't say thank you or even acknowledge a polite deed.

Funnily enough there was a court case last week in the Mail of a woman urinating in the street. Now I don’t approve, but the fines she had to pay were mind popping running into hundreds of pounds….and what exactly are the ‘victim surcharges’ they slap on, who was the victim….

30 year old ‘teenagers’ on E scooters tearing about at crazy speeds always in black with no lights on …surely a ‘powered vehicle’ should be insured and the rider made to take a test and wear a crash helmet.

Seen them in various parts of town and on one occasion a police van overtook one on Brenda Road in pitch black

I gather that the victim surcharge goes into a fund to pay compensation to victims of crime. So for example if some old codger gets beaten up and robbed by some penniless drug addict, they would get paid compensation from the money charged to those who had committed other crimes. Of course the penniless drug addict pays nowt to no one.