Fat Sam

PJPoolie · **Joined:** Wed Mar 06, 2013 6:28 pm **Posts:** 15342

This game is embarrassing it could easily end up double figures.

I heard a stat the other day the he has lost more games by 4 or more goals than any other manager in history.

He's done well to keep up the myth that he's a good manager, a great self salesman. To think he got the England job!!

JohnnyMars · **Joined:** Tue Jun 12, 2007 10:24 am **Posts:** 2477

Fat Sham

PJPoolie · **Joined:** Wed Mar 06, 2013 6:28 pm **Posts:** 15342

JohnnyMars wrote:

Fat Sham

Mumtaz's rucksack · **Joined:** Mon Jan 08, 2007 12:38 pm **Posts:** 1643

He's better than fat craig

pooliecrab · **Joined:** Tue Dec 16, 2014 9:31 pm **Posts:** 6028

Best record in international football...

Bossa Nova · **Joined:** Sun Feb 01, 2015 1:51 am **Posts:** 376

Along with Pulis, Pardew, Lambert and the rest he seems to have a permanent job managing in the top two divisions. His appointment at Everton was as much to do with a lack of imagination and sheer desperation as anything else.

returnofaido · **Posted:** Sat Feb 03, 2018 8:30 pm

Employed on an 18 month contract when Everton were in the bottom 3 with the remit to keep them up. Which he looks like he has done. Not sure what the issue is ?

PJPoolie · **Joined:** Wed Mar 06, 2013 6:28 pm **Posts:** 15342

Everton are surely better than Allardyce? The blokes a tosser just one of a group of British managers on a constant gravy train despite being shite, Pardew, Hughes, Pulis. He’s a multi millionaire and has not won a thing, his teams regularly get hammered. He’s a fraud, a serial loser.

alybaba · **Posted:** Sat Feb 03, 2018 8:53 pm

PJPoolie wrote:

Everton are surely better than Allardyce? The blokes a tosser just one of a group of British managers on a constant gravy train despite being shite, Pardew, Hughes, Pulis. He’s a multi millionaire and has not won a thing, his teams regularly get hammered. He’s a fraud, a serial loser.

Well said i just said the same things tonight he is a waste of space should never have been anywhere near the England job.League 2 manager at best.

Twilight Zone · **Joined:** Mon Aug 01, 2011 10:06 pm **Posts:** 1428

PJPoolie wrote:

Everton are surely better than Allardyce? The blokes a tosser just one of a group of British managers on a constant gravy train despite being shite, Pardew, Hughes, Pulis. He’s a multi millionaire and has not won a thing, his teams regularly get hammered. He’s a fraud, a serial loser.

Bossa Nova · **Joined:** Sun Feb 01, 2015 1:51 am **Posts:** 376

phil wrote:

Why is it when people talk about Allardyce, no one ever mentions the fact he's a corrupt self serving arsehole? He's been caught selling face to face meetings with himself off the record, and he's been caught taking bribes to sign players from agents. But that always gets forgotten about.

Agreed. The more money that get's squandered on football the more rottenness it attracts. It stinks.

charco · **Joined:** Thu Jun 25, 2015 8:24 am **Posts:** 885

When I saw "fat Sam" I thought that auto-correct had changed fat Pam ...

... disappointed

jumbodabber · **Joined:** Wed Jun 06, 2007 1:35 pm **Posts:** 523

Bossa Nova wrote:

phil wrote:

Why is it when people talk about Allardyce, no one ever mentions the fact he's a corrupt self serving arsehole? He's been caught selling face to face meetings with himself off the record, and he's been caught taking bribes to sign players from agents. But that always gets forgotten about.

Agreed. The more money that get's squandered on football the more rottenness it attracts. It stinks.

The more money the less transparency and accountability

Malcolm Dawes Knew My Father · **Joined:** Wed May 11, 2011 4:25 pm **Posts:** 4198

Bossa Nova wrote:

Along with Pulis, Pardew, Lambert and the rest he seems to have a permanent job managing in the top two divisions. His appointment at Everton was as much to do with a lack of imagination and sheer desperation as anything else.

Well, yes - Everton were actually desperate, weren't they? They'd completely screwed up on replacing Koeman.

As for the other Brits on the management merry go round, it would be great if some younger coaches from the Championship were given a chance, but given the mortal dread of falling out of the Premier League that a dozen or so clubs operate under each season, it's easy to see why the 'better the devil you know' argument wins out time after time.

The alternative is foreign coaches - and among them the list of total failures is much longer than the list of relative successes (excluding the PL's filthy rich top six, who can afford to pay for the very best).

Wommers · **Posted:** Mon Feb 05, 2018 10:19 am

December 2017. Meeting in fancy members club in London with wood-paneling and posh school dinners type food. SAM ALLARDYCE, ROY HODGSON, ALAN PARDEW and DAVID MOYLES are all sat round a table in a private booth.

SAM ALLARDYCE: Order order! Thank you for coming today and congratulations to every one of us for receiving huge sacking and signing on bonuses. Now this has enabled the BMC to have a capital pot of some 25 million pounds and we are here today to decide what to do with it.
Roy, you first.

ROY HODGSON: First can I congratulate Alan on his new job at Crystal Palace – they are a lovey soft touch, easily ripped off, well done you.

ALAN PARDEW: You’re the Palace manager.

ROY HODGSON: Am I? Lucky old me. What division are we in? Do we play our matches away or at home? What’s the pay off, any good?

ALAN PARDEW: Sure it will be a biggie Roy. Sam and I both ripped them off …

ROY HODGSON: Lovely. Where do they play? There’s no clue in the title. Are they a Bristol club? There’s a lovely little bicycle repair shop in the railway arches in Bristol…..

Everyone ignores him

ALAN PARDEW: Anyway, may I first congratulate Tony on the lingering destruction he rendered at West Brom, delivering us both substantial cash piles.
And can we all reassure Moylesy that we will give him an easy ride in matches this season to help him get a full three years deal and a massive contract at either end.

ALL: Here here!

TONY PULIS: I’m out a job at the mo… so could I have an advance of a couple of mill until I take the Swansea job? I should be able to sting them for 30 mill over 3 years.

BIG SAM: Of course, it will be in the Cayman Islands tomorrow.

DAVID MOYLES: Thanks lads and Sam don’t worry I’ll send you Andy Carrol in Jan for a heavily inflated fee. Anyway, I propose we spend the 25 million on a bit coin start-up called Brit Coin – it’s a kind of currency that’s backed up by fuck all and it’s destined to blow up in investor’s faces. All we have to do is get out at the right time, like we always do, and move on to a new scam.

ROY HODGSON: I think we should open a catering company give I the contracts for our various clubs, serve up any old shit, then f*ck off when the margins start to fall.

ALAN PARDEW; What about an online fashion retailer called Brit Look? Blazers, ties, crisp shirts, nylon suits. Everyone says I look da bomb, so I could be the face of it. Run it for a year then go bankrupt… leaving our suppliers to cry into their soup. Lovely.

TONY PULIS: I reckon we should release a perfume for men called Pulis – it’s a bit cidery with a hint of pork belly – don’t pay our suppliers and f*ck off after a year.

BIG SAM: There’s some great ideas there but what about this – we set up a trust in Liechtenstein that pays us the interest tax-free and makes loans to us tax-free. So we do basically fuck all and make a fortune

They all agree.

BIG SAM: Let’s get pissed and eat some owl.

PJPoolie · **Joined:** Wed Mar 06, 2013 6:28 pm **Posts:** 15342

Wommers wrote:

December 2017. Meeting in fancy members club in London with wood-paneling and posh school dinners type food. SAM ALLARDYCE, ROY HODGSON, ALAN PARDEW and DAVID MOYLES are all sat round a table in a private booth.

SAM ALLARDYCE: Order order! Thank you for coming today and congratulations to every one of us for receiving huge sacking and signing on bonuses. Now this has enabled the BMC to have a capital pot of some 25 million pounds and we are here today to decide what to do with it.
Roy, you first.

ROY HODGSON: First can I congratulate Alan on his new job at Crystal Palace – they are a lovey soft touch, easily ripped off, well done you.

ALAN PARDEW: You’re the Palace manager.

ROY HODGSON: Am I? Lucky old me. What division are we in? Do we play our matches away or at home? What’s the pay off, any good?

ALAN PARDEW: Sure it will be a biggie Roy. Sam and I both ripped them off …

ROY HODGSON: Lovely. Where do they play? There’s no clue in the title. Are they a Bristol club? There’s a lovely little bicycle repair shop in the railway arches in Bristol…..

Everyone ignores him

ALAN PARDEW: Anyway, may I first congratulate Tony on the lingering destruction he rendered at West Brom, delivering us both substantial cash piles.
And can we all reassure Moylesy that we will give him an easy ride in matches this season to help him get a full three years deal and a massive contract at either end.

ALL: Here here!

TONY PULIS: I’m out a job at the mo… so could I have an advance of a couple of mill until I take the Swansea job? I should be able to sting them for 30 mill over 3 years.

BIG SAM: Of course, it will be in the Cayman Islands tomorrow.

DAVID MOYLES: Thanks lads and Sam don’t worry I’ll send you Andy Carrol in Jan for a heavily inflated fee. Anyway, I propose we spend the 25 million on a bit coin start-up called Brit Coin – it’s a kind of currency that’s backed up by fuck all and it’s destined to blow up in investor’s faces. All we have to do is get out at the right time, like we always do, and move on to a new scam.

ROY HODGSON: I think we should open a catering company give I the contracts for our various clubs, serve up any old shit, then f*ck off when the margins start to fall.

ALAN PARDEW; What about an online fashion retailer called Brit Look? Blazers, ties, crisp shirts, nylon suits. Everyone says I look da bomb, so I could be the face of it. Run it for a year then go bankrupt… leaving our suppliers to cry into their soup. Lovely.

TONY PULIS: I reckon we should release a perfume for men called Pulis – it’s a bit cidery with a hint of pork belly – don’t pay our suppliers and f*ck off after a year.

BIG SAM: There’s some great ideas there but what about this – we set up a trust in Liechtenstein that pays us the interest tax-free and makes loans to us tax-free. So we do basically fuck all and make a fortune

They all agree.

BIG SAM: Let’s get pissed and eat some owl.

That was from a recent episode of Athletico Mince and was even funnier with Bob Mortimers impressions of all the managers.

Wommers · **Posted:** Mon Feb 05, 2018 10:35 am

Aye he's brilliant impersonator is Bob

alybaba · **Posted:** Mon Feb 05, 2018 1:24 pm

Pam is fat Sam in Drag look at their pictures closely.

Compo · **Posted:** Tue Feb 06, 2018 1:01 pm

Speak easy

Fat Sam

Gadgies online