I was speaking to Mr Escape Goat this morning. As you may have heard, he is currently travelling the world seeing some sights. He got bored waiting around for the new football season and he could not take any more of 'the bunker' and the constant barrage of "those tedius shitty stories about Pools trying to sign a player who had an 's' in his name" (his words not mine).

He agreed to send me some holiday snaps so that I could post them on here for you to see.

He visited the Capital yesterday to see Gordon Brown but stopped off at Picadilly Circus on the way.

I will post further photos as he sends me them (he is actually a clever goat and is familiar with the concept of email)

He's not that clever as he surfaced in that shithole and didn't immediately go back down and start tunnelling to somewhere decent.

Mind you can buy 'Mind The Gap' t-shirts down there. I was most amused to see one in Bangkok last week but as it was on an American I didn't draw attention to it.

Keep em' coming Mr.EscapeGoat!!!!

Update:

He has just text me a pic of him at Easter Island.

He says he is having fun and that he is glad to get away from the shite weather that we are having.

He also said that he is gutted that we didnt sign the Liverpool keeper. Apparently the moles tell him of the latest news while he is tunnelling.

Superb!!

Top stuff Mr Grave.

Mr Escape Goat Esq sent the following email to me just now.

"DAY 3:

Brrrrr, well, here I am, Everest. I know us goats are meant to be content sat around on hills/moutains doing nothing but this place is f*cking shite. It is f*cking freezing and my nuts have shrivelled to the size of Quakerz grey matter.

I brought my ski gear but there is no f*cking way im getting out of this tunnel. There is more chance of me going to Lawrences for a game of twister.

Apologies but I cant be arsed typing any more, its a pain typing with hooves anyway but when they are frozen its f*cking impossible. I keep hitting the wrong keys. I now know what its like to be that BovverBootBob bloke.

Anyway here is the latest snap, I will email again when im somewhere nice and warm providing im not too busy banging a nanny or two. (And I mean a nanny goat not some old wrinkly bint you dirty-minded necrophiliacs)

ciao for now fellas

Just spat Tea allover my screen you twat!!!!

Keep em' coming!!!!

Even our rass is asking if there's any news of the Escape Goats holiday adventures now. She just almost wet herself at that one.

Mr Grave brilliant

Showed this to my 17 year old, media A-level studying son this afternoon, he wasn't impressed, said it was just a little bit of 'photo-shop' work.

Personally i think it's brilliant, keep it up Mr E Goat!!

Perhaps he needs to study a bit harder because media is about having ideas. Yes its Photoshop work but its very good photoshop work and the idea behind it is also very good.

Younguns today eh

I did slap him around the head, when he made the remark like.

Too late, Mr Goat.

I've had her.

You have to read the message before you look at the picture to get the full effect.

Yes, it's sure that anyone with a modicum of photoshop skill could have done this.
But like Mr I said, the whole point is they didn't did they.

Cigar for Mr Disorder.

Is this the same grave disorder who was the whinging negative fuck on rivals??

DAY 6:

Pooliekev, you are a complete tw@t. Why is it that every single time that I find myself a bit of fluff, you have already 'had her'. Even when I travel to the other ends of the Earth you will have already sunk the pink in every desirable bint.

Im sick of this sloppy seconds sh*t hence I told Monica (the bint in the last pic) to F*ck Off. She obviously had no taste anyway judging by where she had 'been' and probably had 'diseases'.

Right, moving on....

All this tunnelling and digging is doing me 'ead in. My hooves are donald duck'd. I therefore resorted to a different form of travel. I wished that I had stuck to the tunnelling

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Mr Escape Goat Esq

I've had that train!

that train one is quite funny

The best yet!! And still clutching his shovel!!

Hopefully he belted a few of them with the shovel!

Day 7:

That train was a bloody nightmare. I had a major turtles head but the bogs were full of humans.

Us goats are quite choosy when it comes to where we shit, we dont like the spoil the scenery.

Fortunately I did manage to hold it in until I found an alternative train.

I left a right good pebbledashing but there was no harm done except to my anus.
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Im lost.

Outstanding Mr Grave, you have far too much time on your hands

Not really, all i have to do is post the emails which Mr escape Goat sends to me . Doesnt take long

Not sure where that rumour has come from like? I dont think I went to school with Graeme Storm either?? What school did he go to?

Your missing one point though, I never went to school with Mr Storm and am nowhere near his age.

Nah a bloke I know went to school with Storm. Surely you can tell im not Grave by IP addresses etc? Oh and dont think il be attending any meeting thang you very much

Lol, we are definitely not the same person.

We both tended to have similar views on rivals so I suppose people drawn that conclusion. Tree seems to call a spade a spade, I am the same, but we are certainly not the same person. I may attend a start of season meeting, not sure yet, I still think there are too many arseholes supporting the club who go off on one as soon as you dare to criticise. I hate that and cant be doing with such folk

Absolutely Fecking Magnificent!!!!

Not among the cognoscenti on here Mr Grave. It's a few pints and a good laugh before the game, I don't think anyone who behaved as above would be made welcome. What's on the board stays on the board.

DAY 8

I am pissed off today. After explaining to some thick loid bastard near the brick train that I was in the mood for pizza he gave me directions to this f*cking place in Italy. All that I can find are tourists and some stupid tower. Im f*cking starving.

To vent my frustrations I had to find something to do. ...........................................................
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So did the tower fall down on him and kill him or is he just sick of writing home?

Day 9:

I gather a few people have been complaining because I havent posted in a while. I just want to say go fuck yourself.

I have spent the last few days amongst the most irritating, brainless, attention seeking reprobates that I will ever encounter. I have travelled the world and seen many things but I honestly never thought that I could come accross so many retards in one place. St Lukes was nowt compared to this.

I found myself losing my rag more often than Jack Bauer on a bad day.

Heres one of my calmer moments.

Oh, and if it is a few days before I post again then just be f*cking patient, Im not getting paid for this sh*t. I could have been a tw@t and shoved it all into a book and charged you for the priveledge of gaining my insights.

Regards

Mr Escape Goat
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Incidentally.

I've had her.

Now let's hope he goes on a killing spree using his spade!!!!

You have gone and done it now!

He is such an attention seeker that he probably go and do this!