Right. As most of you appear to love the lake district, I would like some advice.

Me and my wife are going to go over for 5 days early august.

I have some questions:

What hotel would you recommend, bearing in mind there needs to be an element of comfort here? We dont want a B&B with no facilities. Oh, and dont want to be anywhere near a kid friendly place. Cant stand the little scroats. Nor do I want to be near scruffs there for factory fortnight, with fat blokes wearing ther string vests, smoking tabs, and generally being scruffy smelly twats.

Which of the lakes has the most to do........walks etc, Pubs, restaurants?

Is there enough to do, except aimless walking, to keep us amused?

And which is the best lake? If thats the right expression.

And does any of the lakes have a micro climate where it is hot and sunny all the time, without shitty wet weather that seems to plague everyone elses trip there?

No time wasters. Or else.

I imagine Phil will be the best person to ask.

me and our lass went here recently and was very good. Quite expensive but the couple in charge couldnt do enough for you.

https://www.cedarmanor.co.uk/

Dog friendly?

Both of those places look stunning but alas both are fully booked.

And neither of you answered the other questions.

Like in any exam you need to get at least 40% correct to pass.

There is only one Lake in the Lake District. FACT

We usually stay in Ambleside as its a good base with pubs and restaurants but not as packed as Windermere, we usually stay at the Fisherbeck which is lovely, a smallish hotel 5 mins walk from centre of town. A must go pub though for me is the Watermill in Ings just outside windermere on the road to Kendal, has its own micro brewery, does fantastic food and is dog friendly....plus it looks fantastic!.

Id recommend a jaunt to Keswick for the day, a look around Grassmere, a ferry on the lake and a look around the car museum on the edge of lake windermere.

Doesnt matter if your in Ambleside, keswick or Windermere they all have good pubs and restaurants!

Pains me to say it but Mr bresslaw is correct.

1) There's only 1 lake.
2) You contradict yourself, in Q1 you wish for walks yet in Q2 you don't want them! Apart from that there is plenty of culture, museums, art galleries, local crafts etc to visit.
3) Depends what activities you are looking for really!
D) Yes they all do. This time of year it's so hot there, there is a water shortage. I've seen it on the news.

Hope this helps.

Lake fact? Never heard of it...

OK it pains me to after ask, but.......

which bloody lake, apart from Lake FACT, is this one lake?

The last time I was in the lake district was about 1985, so I have no idea about these obvious facts.

Noy a contradiction as such. I dont mind going for a walk, but I dont want to be surrounded, all the time, by these professional walkers, all dressed in all of the correct equipment with their packed lunches. Cant think of anything worse. Except for a scruffy family making the place look ugly.

Didn't have her when we went so didn't matter.

I went to the Lake District 4 years ago, it was very nice.

HTH

Bassenthwaite, I think it's near Keswick. Hope this Helps.

Check Aldi for their Walking gear, cheap, usually good quality, and then all the family can look the part!

If it's warm take some spray, as it can get loads on Midgies n stuff.

Or you could go to North Wales, mountains, lakes, sea, steam trains, nice restaurants and sheep.
Seiont Manor Hotel 0128667366, 2 miles from Snowdon, you can thank me later.

I've just got back, and I'm going again on the 19th. The last thing I'd do is tell Dibble whereabouts!!!!!

Buttermere is about my favourite part of the lakes. There are two great pubs in the village and loads of accessible and spectacular walks can be done from there.

Doubt they'd let UKIP voters into the Lake District to be fair. This thread is pointless.

Go self catering.I can recommend a couple of nice ones.

Bassenthwaite?

Never heard of it. Does it exist?

So if this is the ONLY lake what sets it apart?

If you're going in August you should have a wonderful time getting your legs battered by push chairs, your ears assaulted by screaming kids and your vision severely impaired by looking at a million Goretex clad yompers. June and September, them's the months, I go to a brilliant little place, total peace and quiet, top notch fishing and cheap (although fishing does'nt seem to be on your itinary, and it involves a tent, not a five star hotel).

Self catering? On holiday?

That mean cooking and shit?

Why on gods earth would I want to do that?

And a tent?

I fully expect to have to engage in warfare with adults with brats when outside the confines of the 5 star retreat.

As long as they don't get inside. With their scruffy rab c nesbitt parents.

The fact it's the only lake?

Is it possible to leave Hartlepool in the morning drive round the Lake District and return on the night back too the town ?

Agreed. And it's very quiet. I often used to stay up the road in Lawton: Winder Hall Hotel.

Easy.

But why would you?

Really.

Because I am a tight twat and don't want too spend money on hotels.
Seriously I just want too view the scenery, I need a route though wether north south and a starting point although I would consider a stop over halfway.

'Cos it's called "Lake" Bassenthwaite. All the others are not called lakes but "meres" or "waters", y'daft bastard.

Yonks ago used to stay with the girlfriend's grandparents in a little village called Rowrah on the edge of the Western Fells. Nice walking around Ennerdale and great views over to Scotland and the Isle of Man.

And if it all got too quiet there was always the bright lights of Cleator Moor to tempt you. Definitely no tourists there!

Pooley(ie) Bridge surely......

I honestly didn't know that.

So why is it called the lake district then?

I want my money back.

Pooly bridge?

That is one place I won't be going to.

I cannot entertain anything that cant spell poolie correctly. Are they idiots?

Just take your butler and the other domestic staff with you as you usually do.

It's ok..... but....... you can only look at so many green lumps.
And ffs, don't venture west into Maryport, Workington or Whitehaven, drove through all three out of curiosity and never stopped.

Been to Whitehaven for a WEARSIDE League game. . How the fuckity fuck is Whitehaven Wearside??

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Look man. I want a luxury hotel, in the Lake/Pond/Pool/puddle/mere/water district.

When the car is parked, I have no intention of getting back in it, until we are heading off back to Hartlepool.

It is not 1972. Going for an aimless drive around the countryside for the day, with a picnic basket in the boot, is not something we do in the modern age.

Its a holiday, therefore its luxury. If I wanted to stay in a tent, with a gas stove, and getting wet through in the rain, whilst doing "outdoor activities" I would sign up for one of them work thingys.

But as I have no intention of making things uncomfotable for myself, that will never happen.

Why would I want to drive to Windscale, whitehaven, whilst on holiday anyway?

I get the impression the Lakes aint for you Dibble.

The south of Cumbria sounds ideal for you Colonel, away from all the tourists and anyone else you dislike. Some of the coastline is ace. Plus you can still get to the big busy towns and glare at people.

You may well be right.

But we are going to try it anyway.

And as for glaring at people mr nottingham, that should be an olympic sport.

Sitting in the sun with a real ale, whiling away the day, whilst glaring, tutting, and rolling the eyes at tramp like scruffs with a posse of kids, is an art.

Are there any lakes/waters/meres/pond/puddles that have been designated as a child free zone?

I generally find the kids that are taken to the Lakes are well behaved kids with well to do parents etc and no bother.

I never think it will be the most interesting of places for kids unless your going to a specific area designed for kids with activity centres etc.

Ah good point.

It does sound a dull as fook place for kids, that adults take hm to, for their benefit rather than the kids.

All you parents should be ashamed.

Your kids would prefer alton towers.

Will you be giving us regular updates when your there Dibble? Could maybe have your own thread/diary to keep us upto date with your rivetting tales.

No. F uck off.