Grabec?

I miss her, as she posts sensible stuff.

What with her, The Fat Man, and myself, there was always a higher intellectual plane on the board.

And where is Salty these days?

And Mr and Mrs Billingham!!!!

...all the heroes?

well I certainly hope Grabec hasnt had an Icepick, that made her ears burn.

...the likely lads?

Fat Man's massive brain ate the most intelligent posters, it was like a huge zombie composed entirely of grey matter. Sniffed you and then turned away. Bit of gristle left on the side of the brain plate

He stalks people on their mobile phones too. What a bastard.

Someone has to text you, just to make it look like you've got friends. And stop talking about me like I'm not here. Well, I am in China for the week but you know what I mean.

Have you seen hatman, fatman?

Friends?

What a strange concept.

Hatmanfatman?

Sounds like the new leader of North Korea.

I'm missing Orienteer. While his ban was fully justified I'd like to have him back to laugh at for a day or two.

Ah yes. He would be good entertainment just now.

I'm scouring the shops for a camera hat, just so I can change my username to fatmanhatman. It's China, the land of the cheap gadget; there must be one somewhere!

Strangest thing so far is the fish stall in the supermarket. Live fish in a tank. Certain to be fresh!

You could try attaching a camera to a hat. Both easy to source and you could staple a live fish on there as an extra. You wouldn't get that sort of artisitic flourish with a shop bought hatcam. A small haddock would look great unless you're one of those red-faced fat lads in which case a rainbow trout might be best.

But how will I get the live fish through customs?

Be dead by then you big dafty.

What if I put a fish bowl on top of the hat? I could hide the camera inside?

Put them on a lead silly.

I miss Brian clough

His predictions were insightful. I'm sure he predicted pools to go up last season... I'm just gutted I didn't lump any cash on relegation. Bastard.

Our government are selling arms to Chinese fish now ffs.

Paris Store in, erm, Paris has a live fish counter. About 500 of the buggers in about half a cubic metre. Also chicken feet, scorpions, kitsch buddahs, and everthing else you'd expect in Le Chinatown.

Mahatma Hatmanfatman

*waves*

Makro have live Lobsters at the phish counter.

I went to a swanky fish restaurant in that London years ago, I was asked to pick a fish from the tank, after a quick gander I chose the Octopus with what looked like a moustache and it was a greeny colour and a bit odd looking but thought it would be tasty in a sauce.

The waiter came back and said he was sorry but the cephlapod was part of the kitchen crew and was just on a break, I looked at the waiter confused and he said " Hands that do dishes can be soft as your face with a mild green hairy lip squid"

Do you know what I reckon that's the worst joke I've ever read/heard.

Some of the awful recent events in the UK have been funnier.

That's quite an achievement.

Bet he went purple and then exploded when the exit polls came in. Mind you he's probably too busy to post now - one hand constantly occupied because of thoughts of a threesome with May and Arlene Foster.