fookin horrible

i hate woodlice me mate

go insane when abroad with the buzz of mozzies

never mind them horrid chunts

i'd go spare -

how did you suss out bay leaves?

you must have a death wish.

They aren't the main concern, in fact they are served deep fried and eaten. It's the spiders that freak me out!

It's them long antennae waving about, it's like they've got fookin radar.

I just got the bay leaves suggestion off the internet on a site called 'Get Rid Of Cockroaches For Good.' Our rass curled up laughing. 'What you're gonna clear all the cockroaches out of China??'

'Yeah....'

Mozzies drive me muckin' fental as well. but they have these neat electric swats here for a few pennies. Picture a tennis racket with metal mesh in it and you touch 'em and they explode. Cushty. I've got three.

Spiders I don't mind Mr Saigon, not since the wonderful childrens cartoon on telly, 'I'm only scary 'cos I'm hairy.' Although we have a got a massive one trapped behind the dining room cupboard.